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  • Coming out is never an easy thing to do.

  • And I can't imagine being put in a position

  • where you have no choice, but that's

  • exactly what happened to our next guest.

  • She's an incredibly talented makeup artist

  • and influencer who revealed something incredibly private

  • last week.

  • Take a look.

  • Hello, guys.

  • It's me-- Nikkie.

  • Today, I am here to share something with you

  • that I've always wanted to share with you one day,

  • but under my own circumstances-- and it

  • looks like that chance has been taken away from me.

  • When I was younger, I was born in the wrong body--

  • which means that I am transgender.

  • But there is one thing that I really, really want

  • to make so clear to all of you--

  • I am me.

  • I am still Nikkie.

  • [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

  • Nikkie's video has been viewed more than 31 million times,

  • and this is the first time she's sitting down and talking

  • about exactly what happened.

  • From the Netherlands, please welcome Nikkie Tutorials.

  • Hi, Nikkie.

  • Hello.

  • So nice to meet you.

  • Oh, my God.

  • It's an honor.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I'm like, can you pinch me?

  • Please?

  • Yes, I can.

  • OK?

  • Oh, God, it hurts.

  • It's real.

  • Yes.

  • Yeah.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • So thank you for sitting down and--

  • Thank you.

  • And talking to us.

  • And I know that this is a tricky situation--

  • (EMPHATICALLY) Yeah.

  • --and a lot has happened.

  • But you found out that someone was--

  • well, they were blackmailing you and threatening

  • to reveal something.

  • Yeah.

  • How did you find that out?

  • And is that why you posted this?

  • Well, a couple of weeks ago, I got emails

  • from a certain person.

  • And he was not OK with the fact that I was lying

  • and wanted to expose that.

  • So he had a very pressuring tone of voice.

  • And he was like, if we don't get an answer by tomorrow,

  • it's out.

  • And I feel like his entire goal was--

  • with this-- to destroy my life.

  • But plot twist. (CHUCKLES) That didn't happen.

  • No, it did not.

  • So the response has been fantastic, I know.

  • It's been unreal.

  • Good for you.

  • I remember uploading the video, I was like, oh, I cannot do it.

  • Then I started crying, and my fiancé, Dylan,

  • was right next to me.

  • He was like, you can do it.

  • You can do it.

  • So he really pushed me to post it.

  • And he was like we're going to get through this.

  • You're going to be OK.

  • You're going to do this.

  • And I put it up.

  • And I was looking at my screen like this.

  • I'm like, oh, God.

  • Oh, God.

  • Oh, God.

  • And then people were like, we love you.

  • We accept you.

  • And I was so happy that it's 2020,

  • and the acceptance is real.

  • Yeah, well--

  • Yeah.

  • [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

  • I know your mom has been very supportive and, of course,

  • now your fiancé is supportive.

  • At what age did you realize that you were in the wrong body?

  • Well, it's funny because to me, I just always was so confused.

  • I was like, why do I have to wear that?

  • Or, why don't I have long hair?

  • And I'm really grateful-- because I

  • know that's not the case for everybody

  • out there-- my mom is a queen.

  • Momma Tutorials is a queen.

  • Even when we went to the hospital to see what was going

  • on, doctors were like, just don't--

  • they were like, don't push it too far.

  • Let's see where it goes.

  • But then I came home and I was like, mom,

  • I really want to wear girl clothes.

  • And she was like, if you want to wear girl clothes,

  • you're going to wear them.

  • Even though doctors were like, you

  • might want to wait with that a bit.

  • Wow.

  • Yeah.

  • That's great-- that she was like that.

  • Yeah.

  • All right.

  • So you posted these videos when you were actually

  • still transitioning, right?

  • Yeah.

  • So people didn't even know that when-- during that time.

  • And it wasn't like--

  • you don't feel like you were lying.

  • I mean, I don't think that was lying.

  • First of all, it's your own private business.

  • Yeah.

  • And, again, you're teaching people how to put makeup on.

  • Exactly.

  • That's got nothing to do with anybody.

  • Exactly.

  • If you wouldn't have been blackmailed,

  • do you think you would have come out?

  • And if so--

  • But when--

  • Was that important to you or--

  • I always wanted to come out with it,

  • but it is such a delicate thing that--

  • how do you find the timing?

  • There is never the perfect timing.

  • So in a way--

  • because I'm not thankful to the person who did this--

  • I am thankful that it happened now.

  • And now I get to be free.

  • And even though.

  • I am-- I have privilege.

  • I started when I was really young.

  • I pass.

  • I am blond.

  • I started when I was younger.

  • I look cis.

  • And I want to take this opportunity

  • to hopefully inspire a lot of transgender people out there.

  • And even when you're starting later on in your journey,

  • that we need to accept that.

  • And it's hard, because I don't know.

  • It's only been a week.

  • I don't know where this is going to go.

  • I don't know where I fit in, in this magical world.

  • But as long as I get to be myself and inspire

  • any "little Nikkie's" to be their selves,

  • that's all I can do.

  • And you will--

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • You'll inspire a lot of people.

  • I mean, look, I think it's still so early for a lot of people

  • to understand.

  • And I think the more that someone

  • sees someone else on television and says oh, that's

  • what that is.

  • Exactly.

  • And it's not scary.

  • And they're not going to hurt--

  • We're not monsters, yeah.

  • Yes.

  • So I think it's really important for as many people as possible

  • to be represented on television.

  • And--

  • Which, thank you for letting me be here.

  • Because.

  • I feel like if there's one person

  • to get this message across globally--

  • and you, like no other, know what it's like to come out.

  • And just thank you--

  • Well, you're--

  • --for this honor.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • --welcome.

  • Thank you very much for being here.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • The Trevor Project-- if you don't know about the Trevor

  • Project, it's a nonprofit that provides resources for LGBTQ+

  • youth.

  • And thanks to Shutterfly, we're going

  • to make a $10,000 donation in your name.

  • [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

  • (LAUGHS)

  • Go to our website to find out more about the Trevor Project.

  • We'll be right back.

Coming out is never an easy thing to do.

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Influential YouTuber Nikkie de Jager Sits Down With Ellen

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/03
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