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  • Hey, guys.

  • I'm Ashley Graham, model, designer, entrepreneur,

  • and body activist.

  • I'm so grateful to be where I am today,

  • but the path wasn't easy.

  • Now I'm so honored to help others gain the confidence

  • that they need to take the next step in their lives

  • to be totally, unapologetically fearless.

  • This is Kaiden.

  • Kaiden is 26 years old and identifies

  • as gender non-binary.

  • I am assigned female at birth.

  • But I never felt good about how I was expressing myself

  • on the outside.

  • I don't necessarily want to be a guy,

  • but I don't want to be a woman.

  • Kaiden is proud of who they are, but they're having a hard time

  • finding other people that have gone

  • through similar experiences.

  • I feel alone during this process.

  • No one knows how much you're struggling.

  • Total Wireless is connecting us to help them take

  • the next step in their journey.

  • I know the difference between gender and sex

  • can be so confusing.

  • Yeah.

  • Can you explain that for us?

  • For me, I am assigned female birth so, my sex is female.

  • And it's always going to be female.

  • I'm not going to change that.

  • My gender, though, is how I feel up here, how I feel in here,

  • and how I want the world to see me.

  • I'm non-binary.

  • I'm a trans masculine individual--

  • OK.

  • --which means I'm not man, and I'm not a woman.

  • I want to live in a world where I don't need a label

  • and I can just exist.

  • You're happy not being a man.

  • You're happy not being a woman.

  • Correct.

  • You said, I am Kaiden.

  • Absolutely.

  • So you've had a couple surgeries.

  • About five weeks ago, I had top surgery.

  • OK.

  • And then September 13, I had a total hysterectomy.

  • And I'm feeling pretty relieved to have

  • the weight off my chest.

  • No pun intended?

  • All puns intended.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • What was the hardest part after surgery?

  • It's trying to feel OK in the world you exist

  • in when you feel good about yourself,

  • but you don't fit in with that world.

  • You go back to work.

  • Yeah.

  • What was that like starting work again?

  • Like, hey, guys.

  • My name's Kaiden.

  • Please refer to me with they/them pronouns.

  • And how did everybody handle it?

  • It was awkward.

  • When you come out to a bunch of people,

  • it was not easy, because they knew me as someone else.

  • How did your family react?

  • They want to blame something.

  • There's an answer to everything.

  • The answer is, this is just me.

  • When did you, all of a sudden, say, this is what I want?

  • I was teaching at a Title I school in Tacoma.

  • And I was going by Professor KB instead of Mr. or Mrs.

  • But it was that fall when I was kind of reflecting a lot.

  • And I talked to my partner, Steph.

  • Something's got to change.

  • How long have you and Stephanie been together?

  • Two years coming up in November.

  • Wow.

  • Yeah.

  • I want to give her so much credit for being open to me.

  • So Stephanie has been a beacon of light.

  • But do you have any friends that have transitioned or are

  • non-binary?

  • Yeah.

  • So I met one person on Instagram, James--

  • Aw.

  • --and he's living his best life.

  • When you are living in such a world where you feel insecure,

  • you need a constant set of support systems

  • with people where you're like, hey.

  • If I text you, I know you're going

  • to text back kind of thing.

  • What are your biggest concerns for the future?

  • Feeling accepted or finding people that I can feel like I

  • fit in with.

  • A community.

  • Absolutely.

  • Well, Kaiden, I just want to say thank you.

  • Thank you for being so brave, for talking to me,

  • for being here.

  • I know that you face adversity every single day

  • of your life in this world.

  • But I want to show you something very special right

  • through those curtains.

  • OK.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • All right.

  • Roll the tape, please.

  • Hey, Kaiden.

  • It's your friend James.

  • First of all, I want to say how proud I am of you.

  • And I want you to know that you're not alone,

  • and I'm always here for you.

  • And I'd also like to introduce you

  • to some other people that understand

  • what you're going through and also have your back.

  • Hey, I'm Wyatt, and I identify as a trans masculine person.

  • You are absolutely not alone.

  • There's a lot of people that don't even

  • believe in the idea of non-binary, transgender.

  • Most people think that I'm doing it for attention.

  • The biggest thing that people misunderstand

  • is, we're not trying to be someone else.

  • We're trying to be ourselves.

  • I was born and assigned male at birth.

  • And I've been on hormones, but I've kept my beard.

  • And it's very confusing to a lot of people.

  • Don't let people freak you out about your body.

  • I figure, we all are given our bodies kind of like cars.

  • And it's up to you how you want to soup it up.

  • Kaiden, I think your story was amazing,

  • and I relate a lot to your story.

  • If you ever need anything, you can contact me.

  • You don't ever have to be alone.

  • We have your back.

  • Come on over, Kaiden.

  • We're waiting for you.

  • You are more powerful than you know.

  • So how do you feel after seeing that video?

  • Touched.

  • You feel like almost, like, an arm's reach away, though.

  • Mm-hmm.

  • And it's like, great.

  • Let's hang out.

  • Let's find ways to feel more connected.

  • Well, I know how important that is for you,

  • and I know how important support and a community is for you.

  • So I want you to meet a few people.

  • Come on out!

  • You came!

  • How are you?

  • How are you?

  • I'm good.

  • Hey!

  • This is everybody in the video.

  • Hello!

  • [MUSIC - ANDRA DAY, "RISE UP"]

  • (SINGING) We'll rise up.

  • Kind of funny how you just said they

  • were just an arm's length away.

  • Yeah.

  • And now everybody is.

  • I think everybody has a few things they want to say.

  • First of all, I'm so excited about this year for you.

  • It has been fast and furious.

  • And I know how scary the other side of transitioning

  • is, where you're like, oh, no.

  • Now everyone sees me, and I'm accountable for that.

  • You're only at the beginning of building a huge community

  • that you're a part of.

  • And we all got your back.

  • That's awesome.

  • I'm a trans guy, and I've been where you are.

  • It does get better, and just don't ever suffer alone.

  • We're here for you.

  • Thank you.

  • And we all here understand what it's

  • like to be misgendered constantly--

  • Yeah.

  • --to have to overcome obstacles and to navigate a world that's

  • often designed against us.

  • But we also understand what it's like to be resilient, right?

  • To have community behind us and to be loved and celebrated.

  • And so we're all here to let you know that we love you,

  • and we're proud of you, and we're excited for you.

  • Yes.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • How do you feel?

  • Overwhelmed.

  • I'm sure.

  • It's a lot.

  • When you find people that can have shared experiences

  • with you, and then they can say they see you in a way

  • that no one else can, that's super special.

  • It is special, because everybody here

  • has been through very similar experiences.

  • I mean, I'm feeling the support as well.

  • Yeah.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • OK.

  • So we want you to stay connected with everybody here.

  • And so Total Wireless and I want to give you a phone.

  • Whoo!

  • That is awesome.

  • Thank you.

  • Yes!

  • Don't you love it when things fly in?

  • I mean, yeah.

  • But also, I know how important Stephanie is to you.

  • And we want to give you a trip to Vegas

  • to stay at the Venetian.

  • No way.

  • Yes.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • You're going to have some sexy time.

  • Yes.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • And you get to go to Ellen's show

  • during the 12 Days of Giveaways.

  • No.

  • Yeah!

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • That is awesome.

  • You watch that all the time, and you're like, ah, if only.

  • If only.

  • If only.

  • How are you feeling?

  • Grateful.

  • Well, I really do hope that you stay

  • connected with your friends.

  • They came here to support you.

  • And whether the outside world says whatever they say,

  • you look back at these faces and you remember, I am loved.

  • Thanks, guys.

  • Love you, Kaiden.

  • There is a huge community of people

  • that have been misunderstood.

  • Finding those people today have shown me that I'm not alone.

  • Because I feel seen.

  • I feel valid.

  • I am so glad that now Kaiden has a community that's not just

  • an arm's reach away.

  • They're right there.

  • I hope that people that have a family member or a friend that

  • is going through this journey and transition,

  • that the thing they can do the most is just ask them, hey,

  • are you OK?

  • So you can better respect that person

  • and hopefully show them love and kindness

  • the way they deserve to be.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, guys.

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‘Fearless’: Ashley Graham Breaks Down Gender Identity with Non-Binary Individual

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/03
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