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Hey, guys.
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I'm Ashley Graham, model, designer, entrepreneur,
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and body activist.
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I'm so grateful to be where I am today,
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but the path wasn't easy.
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Now I'm so honored to help others gain the confidence
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that they need to take the next step in their lives
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to be totally, unapologetically fearless.
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This is Kaiden.
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Kaiden is 26 years old and identifies
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as gender non-binary.
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I am assigned female at birth.
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But I never felt good about how I was expressing myself
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on the outside.
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I don't necessarily want to be a guy,
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but I don't want to be a woman.
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Kaiden is proud of who they are, but they're having a hard time
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finding other people that have gone
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through similar experiences.
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I feel alone during this process.
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No one knows how much you're struggling.
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Total Wireless is connecting us to help them take
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the next step in their journey.
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I know the difference between gender and sex
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can be so confusing.
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Yeah.
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Can you explain that for us?
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For me, I am assigned female birth so, my sex is female.
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And it's always going to be female.
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I'm not going to change that.
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My gender, though, is how I feel up here, how I feel in here,
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and how I want the world to see me.
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I'm non-binary.
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I'm a trans masculine individual--
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OK.
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--which means I'm not man, and I'm not a woman.
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I want to live in a world where I don't need a label
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and I can just exist.
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You're happy not being a man.
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You're happy not being a woman.
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Correct.
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You said, I am Kaiden.
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Absolutely.
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So you've had a couple surgeries.
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About five weeks ago, I had top surgery.
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OK.
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And then September 13, I had a total hysterectomy.
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And I'm feeling pretty relieved to have
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the weight off my chest.
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No pun intended?
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All puns intended.
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[LAUGHTER]
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What was the hardest part after surgery?
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It's trying to feel OK in the world you exist
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in when you feel good about yourself,
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but you don't fit in with that world.
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You go back to work.
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Yeah.
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What was that like starting work again?
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Like, hey, guys.
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My name's Kaiden.
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Please refer to me with they/them pronouns.
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And how did everybody handle it?
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It was awkward.
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When you come out to a bunch of people,
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it was not easy, because they knew me as someone else.
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How did your family react?
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They want to blame something.
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There's an answer to everything.
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The answer is, this is just me.
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When did you, all of a sudden, say, this is what I want?
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I was teaching at a Title I school in Tacoma.
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And I was going by Professor KB instead of Mr. or Mrs.
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But it was that fall when I was kind of reflecting a lot.
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And I talked to my partner, Steph.
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Something's got to change.
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How long have you and Stephanie been together?
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Two years coming up in November.
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Wow.
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Yeah.
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I want to give her so much credit for being open to me.
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So Stephanie has been a beacon of light.
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But do you have any friends that have transitioned or are
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non-binary?
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Yeah.
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So I met one person on Instagram, James--
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Aw.
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--and he's living his best life.
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When you are living in such a world where you feel insecure,
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you need a constant set of support systems
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with people where you're like, hey.
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If I text you, I know you're going
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to text back kind of thing.
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What are your biggest concerns for the future?
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Feeling accepted or finding people that I can feel like I
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fit in with.
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A community.
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Absolutely.
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Well, Kaiden, I just want to say thank you.
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Thank you for being so brave, for talking to me,
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for being here.
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I know that you face adversity every single day
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of your life in this world.
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But I want to show you something very special right
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through those curtains.
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OK.
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[MUSIC PLAYING]
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All right.
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Roll the tape, please.
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Hey, Kaiden.
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It's your friend James.
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First of all, I want to say how proud I am of you.
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And I want you to know that you're not alone,
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and I'm always here for you.
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And I'd also like to introduce you
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to some other people that understand
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what you're going through and also have your back.
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Hey, I'm Wyatt, and I identify as a trans masculine person.
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You are absolutely not alone.
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There's a lot of people that don't even
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believe in the idea of non-binary, transgender.
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Most people think that I'm doing it for attention.
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The biggest thing that people misunderstand
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is, we're not trying to be someone else.
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We're trying to be ourselves.
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I was born and assigned male at birth.
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And I've been on hormones, but I've kept my beard.
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And it's very confusing to a lot of people.
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Don't let people freak you out about your body.
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I figure, we all are given our bodies kind of like cars.
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And it's up to you how you want to soup it up.
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Kaiden, I think your story was amazing,
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and I relate a lot to your story.
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If you ever need anything, you can contact me.
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You don't ever have to be alone.
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We have your back.
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Come on over, Kaiden.
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We're waiting for you.
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You are more powerful than you know.
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So how do you feel after seeing that video?
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Touched.
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You feel like almost, like, an arm's reach away, though.
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Mm-hmm.
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And it's like, great.
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Let's hang out.
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Let's find ways to feel more connected.
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Well, I know how important that is for you,
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and I know how important support and a community is for you.
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So I want you to meet a few people.
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Come on out!
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You came!
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How are you?
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How are you?
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I'm good.
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Hey!
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This is everybody in the video.
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Hello!
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[MUSIC - ANDRA DAY, "RISE UP"]
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(SINGING) We'll rise up.
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Kind of funny how you just said they
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were just an arm's length away.
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Yeah.
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And now everybody is.
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I think everybody has a few things they want to say.
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First of all, I'm so excited about this year for you.
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It has been fast and furious.
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And I know how scary the other side of transitioning
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is, where you're like, oh, no.
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Now everyone sees me, and I'm accountable for that.
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You're only at the beginning of building a huge community
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that you're a part of.
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And we all got your back.
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That's awesome.
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I'm a trans guy, and I've been where you are.
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It does get better, and just don't ever suffer alone.
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We're here for you.
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Thank you.
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And we all here understand what it's
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like to be misgendered constantly--
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Yeah.
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--to have to overcome obstacles and to navigate a world that's
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often designed against us.
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But we also understand what it's like to be resilient, right?
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To have community behind us and to be loved and celebrated.
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And so we're all here to let you know that we love you,
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and we're proud of you, and we're excited for you.
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Yes.
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[LAUGHS]
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How do you feel?
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Overwhelmed.
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I'm sure.
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It's a lot.
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When you find people that can have shared experiences
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with you, and then they can say they see you in a way
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that no one else can, that's super special.
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It is special, because everybody here
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has been through very similar experiences.
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I mean, I'm feeling the support as well.
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Yeah.
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[LAUGHTER]
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OK.
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So we want you to stay connected with everybody here.
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And so Total Wireless and I want to give you a phone.
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Whoo!
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That is awesome.
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Thank you.
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Yes!
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Don't you love it when things fly in?
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I mean, yeah.
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But also, I know how important Stephanie is to you.
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And we want to give you a trip to Vegas
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to stay at the Venetian.
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No way.
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Yes.
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[APPLAUSE]
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You're going to have some sexy time.
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Yes.
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[LAUGHTER]
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And you get to go to Ellen's show
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during the 12 Days of Giveaways.
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No.
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Yeah!
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[APPLAUSE]
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That is awesome.
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You watch that all the time, and you're like, ah, if only.
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If only.
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If only.
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How are you feeling?
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Grateful.
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Well, I really do hope that you stay
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connected with your friends.
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They came here to support you.
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And whether the outside world says whatever they say,
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you look back at these faces and you remember, I am loved.
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Thanks, guys.
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Love you, Kaiden.
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There is a huge community of people
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that have been misunderstood.
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Finding those people today have shown me that I'm not alone.
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Because I feel seen.
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I feel valid.
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I am so glad that now Kaiden has a community that's not just
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an arm's reach away.
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They're right there.
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I hope that people that have a family member or a friend that
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is going through this journey and transition,
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that the thing they can do the most is just ask them, hey,
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are you OK?
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So you can better respect that person
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and hopefully show them love and kindness
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the way they deserve to be.
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[MUSIC PLAYING]