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  • Happy Friday, everyone.

  • Happy Friday, Ellen.

  • I want our time together to be a break

  • from all that worries you.

  • Hopefully, it's an hour of happiness.

  • Consider this our happy hour.

  • We've got $2 draft beers and $3 margaritas,

  • and Average Andy body shots in the back yard,

  • if anybody's interested in that.

  • This is always happy hour for me because I get to see my friend,

  • tWitch.

  • Hi, tWitch.

  • Hi Ellen.

  • It's good to see you.

  • Remember when we were so close that I could wax your legs?

  • Oh how can I forget?

  • Good times.

  • Yeah.

  • You waxing tWitch is honestly one of my favorite moments

  • in 17 seasons.

  • I should wax you one day.

  • You should, actually.

  • You know what?

  • So then we can share that, Andy.

  • You're right.

  • No, what I'm saying--

  • You should wax him.

  • No.

  • First of all, I don't have a lot of body hair.

  • Let's start there.

  • I've seen it.

  • All right.

  • Let's keep going.

  • All right.

  • Believe me, I've seen it.

  • Of course, Andy-- never mind.

  • Please stop.

  • I spoke to your wife, Andy.

  • And she said that I get to keep you.

  • Oh.

  • Sorry.

  • I meant I have to keep you.

  • That's what she said.

  • Since I have you both here, I thought

  • we could play one of our favorite games.

  • Let's play Five Second Rule, Quarantine Edition.

  • You both know how to play.

  • I'm going to ask a question.

  • You have five seconds to give me an answer.

  • The winner is going to get a brand new TV.

  • Wow.

  • For real?

  • Yeah.

  • For real?

  • Yeah.

  • Oh wow.

  • TV.

  • OK.

  • Mm-hmm.

  • Pay attention.

  • Yup.

  • tWitch.

  • Name three things you miss about me.

  • I miss your laugh, I miss lip singing and miss dancing.

  • [BUZZER]

  • Oh come on.

  • Wow.

  • That was a--

  • No.

  • That was a fast five seconds.

  • You took too long to start.

  • Oh God.

  • Everyone watched me.

  • My fingers were counting it out.

  • OK.

  • I can't see me.

  • But I can-- I know that I'm counting.

  • All right.

  • Ask my question.

  • Yeah.

  • Andy?

  • Yeah I'm ready.

  • Name three things you miss about being closer to me.

  • Your smell, your blue eyes, your hair.

  • Oh.

  • That was four seconds.

  • Thank you.

  • You miss my hair?

  • The smell of your hair.

  • I always think you smell very clean.

  • tWitch.

  • Name three words that don't describe Andy.

  • Athletic, talented, and--

  • Wow.

  • Doesn't matter.

  • Ellen will give you all the time in the world for this.

  • I felt--

  • Yeah.

  • What else?

  • But the thing is, I felt bad about that.

  • Like cause Andy, you're [INAUDIBLE]..

  • But you're just not--

  • you don't work out much.

  • Oh.

  • You can't get out of it.

  • I think that's five seconds, Ellen.

  • No.

  • There's plenty of time.

  • So I'm not talented.

  • I'm not athletic.

  • What's the last thing?

  • One-- just one more.

  • Narrow it down.

  • Just one more.

  • Tall?

  • Can I use the hyphenated above-average?

  • Can I do that?

  • Yeah.

  • OK.

  • All right.

  • Yeah.

  • I love you, though, Andy.

  • I love you.

  • That was--

  • I love you.

  • That felt really mean.

  • I love you.

  • That felt mean.

  • All right.

  • Andy?

  • Yup.

  • Three-- name three words that your sons learned from you.

  • Boobies, pee pee, bagina.

  • They now say bagina with a B like me.

  • So there you go.

  • Wow.

  • All right. tWitch?

  • Name three things that you have in your underwear drawer?

  • Boxers, briefs, and--

  • [BUZZER]

  • What happened?

  • That's all I--

  • You just stopped.

  • That's all I got in there.

  • Liar!

  • Andy.

  • Yeah, go ahead.

  • Name three handsome hockey players.

  • Anze Kopitar, Dustin Brown--

  • [BUZZER]

  • Damn it.

  • I blanked.

  • I know.

  • And I know there's a lot of them.

  • Yeah, they're good looking.

  • tWitch, name three things you should not do in the kitchen.

  • Throw hot grease, play with water,

  • and kick your legs up high.

  • Oh wow.

  • Kick your legs up high.

  • We shouldn't play with water?

  • Or kick your legs up high?

  • Don't kick your legs up high when you're in the kitchen.

  • Well, you're a good father.

  • All right.

  • Andy?

  • Listening.

  • Name three average parts of your body.

  • My abs, my wiener, my nose.

  • My wiener.

  • Not your pee pee?

  • No.

  • The wiens.

  • All right.

  • What is happening?

  • tWitch, name three things you do to impress your wife.

  • I dance, I body roll, and I say, hey baby.

  • That impresses her?

  • Impresses her, yeah.

  • Wow.

  • Hey baby.

  • Hey baby.

  • Hey baby, don't kick your legs up high in the kitchen.

  • Andy, name three things you do to impress your wife.

  • Load the dishwasher, run the grill, and just not talk.

  • Run the grill?

  • Man, yeah.

  • I man the grill.

  • When she wants something on the grill,

  • I don't like her near that kind of fire.

  • All right. tWitch, name three things you did this morning.

  • Woke up, gave Maddox cereal, and then carried Zaia downstairs.

  • Well, I don't know if woke up was what you did--

  • well I guess--

  • I mean, I did.

  • I'll let it ride.

  • I did.

  • All right.

  • Andy?

  • Yeah.

  • Name three things you're feeling right now.

  • I'm feeling grateful.

  • I'm feeling sad.

  • And I'm feeling hopeful.

  • Oh.

  • Those are all real true statements.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • All right.

  • That's how you play Five Second Rule Quarantine Edition.

  • tWitch, you won.

  • Well how did he win?

  • Because he did.

  • You didn't bump me one time.

  • You gets this.

  • Awesome.

  • It's a 65" TCL Roku TV.

  • TCL is one of the world's best selling electronic brands,

  • and they're the fastest growing TV brand in the United States.

  • They're award winning Roku TVs are the perfect way

  • to watch your favorite shows and entertainment.

  • They're so easy to use.

  • And guess what?

  • I have hundreds to give away.

  • Go to my website to enter to win a huge TCL Roku TV.

Happy Friday, everyone.

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B1 TheEllenShow hey baby pee grill kick roku

Andy & tWitch Reveal How They Impress Their Wives... in ‘5 Second Rule’

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/03
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