Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • Hello, world.

  • So as you know, this is Ellen's season 17 premiere week.

  • We have just finished the first week, and it has been amazing.

  • But in honor of it, I thought that I would go back and react

  • to my very first time on this show, which

  • was January 2, 2018.

  • Now, I haven't watched this since it aired.

  • I personally don't like watching myself on TV.

  • But I was asked to do this, and I said,

  • you know what, that could be fun.

  • So here we go.

  • Let's see how this goes.

  • [UPBEAT MUSIC]

  • From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, please welcome Kalen Allen.

  • [CHEERING]

  • [LAUGHS]

  • OK, stop, stop, stop, stop.

  • See, we already in this.

  • Now, I don't care what nobody say,

  • but baby, I look like a damn bottle of ketchup and mustard.

  • This is not cute.

  • Actually, I look like Arthur the aardvark.

  • Y'all know Arthur.

  • I still have this outfit too.

  • Hey, Kalen!

  • Oh my God.

  • Hello.

  • OK--

  • OK, can I just say that this is the first time that I had ever

  • been on national TV?

  • And literally, I was so nervous.

  • It was ridiculous.

  • I literally had butterflies in my stomach the entire time.

  • Also, it's the first time that I meet Ellen in person, which

  • is nerve wracking in itself, because I was like, oh my gosh,

  • I don't know how to do this.

  • I've only seen this on YouTube videos with people.

  • I don't know how this is going to go.

  • OK, let's keep going.

  • --how this started.

  • Is it-- are you like a huge cooking fan,

  • or what made you start watching them and then critiquing them?

  • OK--

  • [YELLS]

  • Now, that's the real gag.

  • Now, she asked me, am I cooking fan?

  • Y'all, listen, I cook, but food was not my thing.

  • OK, let's keep going.

  • So the way that the first video started-- so I was literally

  • on my way to work.

  • And so--

  • Already being extra.

  • --I sat there, and I was scrolling through my Facebook

  • feed, and I was like, oh, this video's kind of funny.

  • And now I watched it, and I was like--

  • Yeah, that's really how it happened.

  • --video and post it for my friends.

  • So I put my little phone up, and I press play,

  • and I press record.

  • I edit it, you know, published it.

  • At the end when I went to sleep that night,

  • it had maybe like 20 likes on it.

  • And then I woke up the next morning,

  • I had like 6,000 followers on my Twitter.

  • Now, listen, I'm a little boy from Kansas,

  • so that don't happen all the time.

  • Right.

  • So that was iconic for me.

  • Oh my gosh, that's so cute.

  • Look at baby Kalen.

  • OK, I got to stop being so nostalgic.

  • Let me keep going.

  • So that's when you knew you were onto something.

  • Yeah.

  • All right.

  • So there's another video that I saw that I want to show.

  • Let's take a look--

  • Oh, what's the other video that we played?

  • [YELLS]

  • My favorite, potato salad cake!

  • Oh!

  • Oh!

  • So good.

  • Why y'all putting all them pickles on there?

  • Pickles on there!

  • [LAUGHS]

  • Ooh, that's a fancy compartment.

  • It is a fancy compartment.

  • I have yet to find something that look like that.

  • Oh, no.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • Oh!

  • Y'all better not--

  • Oh!

  • This is nasty.

  • Uh-uh, what y'all doing with the hot dogs?

  • Child, whoever eat this, I know your breath is funky.

  • [CHUCKLING]

  • Oh, classic.

  • Classic.

  • My birthday was two days after this.

  • So you watch these things-- first of all,

  • I've never seen food like that in my life.

  • I don't know where you find these videos of food like that.

  • Mm, a mess.

  • So you're an honor student.

  • Where do you go to college?

  • I go to Temple University.

  • OK, and you have how many jobs?

  • I have five jobs.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • I really did.

  • I really had five jobs.

  • Damn, Karter.

  • Sorry-- sorry, y'all.

  • Karter over-- Karter, lay down, please.

  • Please.

  • Daddy's trying to make a video.

  • Please?

  • Could you give me a break?

  • [DOG BARKS]

  • Y'all, having kids is a lot of work.

  • Y'all, look at him.

  • Look at him.

  • I swear he don't know no other seat but my lap.

  • OK, here we go, here we go.

  • OK, and you have how many jobs?

  • I have five jobs.

  • OK, now we go into the five jobs.

  • Mm, fix my camera.

  • OK.

  • So I do all this because--

  • I really like Ellen's outfit.

  • That was nice.

  • --financially.

  • I try to be independent.

  • So my first job is I'm a front desk worker for the residence

  • halls.

  • Second job is I'm an Amazon Prime student brand ambassador.

  • Yes, I do.

  • Also, I do marketing for the theater and film department.

  • And then the fourth job--

  • child, what is that?

  • Uh.

  • Lord, I done forgot that--

  • You do something for some medical things.

  • Yes.

  • Well, that's the fifth one.

  • OK.

  • So for--

  • Amen, amen.

  • --I'm a student standardized patient

  • for the University of Pennsylvania

  • in their medical school.

  • Oh.

  • Isn't that--

  • That was a good job.

  • Yeah.

  • And that's fun, because you get to act,

  • and you're helping these medical students.

  • Mm-hmm.

  • Actually, I do want to talk about that job.

  • OK, so yes, I was a standardized patient

  • for the University of Pennsylvania medical school.

  • Let me tell y'all.

  • I think I made like $22 an hour.

  • And when I tell you all I had--

  • [DOG BARKING]

  • [CHUCKLES]

  • All I had to do was go lay on a table and get a ultrasound gel,

  • and used to make bank.

  • Now, they also-- they would give you scripts,

  • and you had to take the scripts and go and act

  • like you was a patient, but I never got that far.

  • I wasn't there long enough to do all that.

  • So I was just doing the ultrasounds.

  • And I used to fall asleep, y'all.

  • I used to be knocked out cold.

  • That was the best job ever.

  • So I'm worried about your fourth job that--

  • [LAUGHS]

  • Wait, can we talk about this?

  • Can we talk about how I literally

  • had them numbered, and I knew which order I was

  • going to talk about them in.

  • So they would-- I forgot the fourth one.

  • Like I remembered the fifth one, but then forgot the fourth one.

  • But let's keep going.

  • Wow, because how do you forget a job?

  • Because it's so many.

  • I know, there's--

  • And I do them-- oh, I remember now!

  • [LAUGHS]

  • I remember.

  • What do you do?

  • OK.

  • I am a co-host for Temple Talk, which is a show on campus.

  • OK, so the funny thing about this

  • is because I couldn't remember the fourth one,

  • it really started to make me really, really nervous.

  • So that's why they're like, after that, I

  • started stuttering because I'm like, oh my gosh, now I [BLEEP]

  • up.

  • Oh, I can't say that!

  • I can't say that on here.

  • I had messed up.

  • Messed up.

  • That's a better word.

  • OK, let me keep going.

  • You forgot, though, that you were a co-host on a talk show?

  • Mm-hmm.

  • Wow.

  • Yeah.

  • Oh, tragic.

  • All right.

  • And do you cook yourself?

  • Yes, I do.

  • Actually, I make a very mean--

  • Yes.

  • --peach cobbler.

  • People actually--

  • I still make peach cobbler.

  • --peach cobblers during the holidays.

  • Really?

  • Yes.

  • And because I'm more--

  • I also like Italian food.

  • I do that too.

  • --I don't like adding extra seasonings.

  • I don't like being all extra with stuff.

  • But one thing I don't understand is

  • why people just put salt and pepper on stuff

  • and just call it a day.

  • Listen.

  • I keep telling y'all.

  • Quit putting salt and pepper on stuff.

  • Y'all don't be listening to me.

  • That's got nothing to do with peach cobbler.

  • Yeah.

  • That don't have nothing to do with peach cobbler.

  • All right.

  • Well, first of all, I think you're hilarious.

  • Oh, this is my favorite part!

  • And when I saw that video, I said I want to meet this guy.

  • --going to make me cry.

  • And then the more we thought about it,

  • and we started talking about it, we

  • want to make a deal with you so you actually have a platform

  • and help you make these videos.

  • And so we want you to help put these things out.

  • Oh, stop playing with me, Ellen!

  • All right.

  • So-- we have a deal?

  • Yes, we got a deal!

  • All right, we have a deal.

  • We're going to do this.

  • Yay!

  • [CHEERING]

  • Y'all.

  • Y'all.

  • Can we just talk about how we just on here talking

  • about food videos, and look all that I have done in two years.

  • This is like my third season at the show.

  • So this was season 15.