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  • I want to talk about a survey that I read recently.

  • It's a company called SurveyMonkey.

  • And it polled professionals across the country,

  • found out that 85% of Americans are happy with their job.

  • And my first thought was SurveyMonkey sounds

  • like a great place to work, because I imagined cubicles

  • all lined up with little monkeys in the cubicles,

  • and headsets on them, and little clipboards.

  • And I thought, how adorable that would be to work there.

  • And then I thought Ellen, snap out of it.

  • You already have a job you love.

  • I get to walk out here to the best audience ever.

  • Everyone-- ever.

  • I get all the free mints that I want.

  • I know what Ryan Gosling smells like.

  • You want to know what he smells like?

  • Pickles.

  • Sweet, sweet pickles.

  • Another thing I love about my job--

  • look at me and Jennifer Aniston.

  • Yeah.

  • I mean, who else gets paid to kiss Jennifer Aniston?

  • I guess Paul Rudd, and Adam Sandler,

  • and David Schwimmer, and Charlie Day,

  • and Gerard Butler, Ben Stiller.

  • Man, she gets around, huh?

  • Now that I think about it.

  • I also-- I get to kiss Howard Stern.

  • That's to remind me I prefer kissing girls.

  • Only because of the beard-- he has the-- otherwise,

  • I'd hit that.

  • He's not the only man I've gotten close to.

  • Two words-- Channing Tatum.

  • Yep.

  • So I had to go to the Magic Mike Live Show.

  • And-- it's my job.

  • And he smells like patchouli and money, is what he smells like.

  • I've danced with presidents.

  • I've beaten the first lady in a push up contest.

  • I've hugged Oprah and taken $100.00 out of her back pocket.

  • She didn't even notice it.

  • And I guess what I'm trying to say

  • is, thank you for allowing me to do this amazing job that I

  • have.

  • Without you-- thank you.

  • Yes, thank you.

  • Because without you, I would be a handsy nobody.

  • And that stuff would be illegal.

  • So--

I want to talk about a survey that I read recently.

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B1 TheEllenShow aniston jennifer aniston job jennifer magic mike

Ellen Shares the Perks of Being a Talk Show Host

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/03
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