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  • B:This episode of Death Battle brought to you by Netflix. Go to www.netflix.com/deathbattle for your free trial membership.

  • *Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston*

  • W: Capcom has produced hundreds of deadly warriors, but few can best these two hulking leviathans.

  • B: Haggar, the Mayor-elect of whoop ass...

  • W: And Zangief, Russia's Red Cyclone.

  • B: These two wrestlers have never met in person, but their rivalry is legendary and it's about time they duked it out!

  • W: I'm Wizard, and he's Boomstick and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle!

  • [Clang!]

  • B: Standing 6'7 and weighing 266lb, 30 of which is probably in his manly moustache, it's Mike Haggar!

  • W: For many years, Haggar was a champion wrestler of Slam Masters until being elected mayor of Metro City, a metropolis overrun with street gangs.

  • B: Too bad there aren't more badasses in office.

  • Most Mayors would just put up laws against crime or increase the police force, but Mike takes matters into his own hands.

  • W: Haggar is a former pro American wrestler, specializing in grab holds and quick strikes.

  • He's of Scottish ancestry and proud of it, even having a Scottish flag on his gym.

  • It's likely he has also trained in Scottish back hold wrestling which involves bear hugging an opponent and keeping your balance while overpowering theirs.

  • B: Haggar's got a devastating move set ranging from suplexes, body splashes and his own invention, the Spinning Clothesline Double Lariat, which Zangief stole for his own use.

  • To even the score, Haggar copied 'Gief's spinning pile driver.

  • When Haggar isn't overpowering people with his pure manliness, his weapon of choice is a blunt pipe. Hey, he's a mayor that kicks ass and recycles!

  • Even after his victorious election, Haggar continued his rigorous training...

  • B: By piledriving sharks!

  • W: It appears Haggar wrestles bull sharks, one of the deadliest sharks on Earth. These can grow up to 11 feet long and weigh up to 500lb.

  • Wrestling these proves Haggar's proficiency in the Scottish back hold, as he keeps his balance against the thrashing sharks until he can pile drive them into the beach!

  • B: Next Jaws movie needs more Haggar!

  • W: Unfortunately, during his time as Mayor, Haggar was undoubtedly forced to prioritize politics over training.

  • It's likely he didn't have much time to learn new techniques or train against many other wrestlers.

  • As a result, he uses moves and skills from an older era.

  • B: Well, they seem to work pretty damn well.

  • W: He certainly hasn't lost his touch.

  • "Mike Haggar, the candidate who puts people first!"

  • [Clang!]

  • W: Zangief stands seven feet tall at 350lb, weighing in as one of the strongest on the Street Fighting circuit.

  • B: And as a testament to his manliness, check out that wicked shin hair!

  • W: Zangief is a champion wrestler in Russia, using push and pull techniques to throw his opponents off balance.

  • He also specializes in Sambo, a combination of wrestling and martial arts.

  • He's not skilled in leg locks and choke holds, but his grappling submissions and ground work are second to none.

  • B: Zangief's best moves include his Double Lariat, Atomic Suplex, Flying Power Bomb and a wicked backhand called the Banishing Flat, a move Zangief learned specifically to counter projectiles.

  • Zangief. Hates. Projectiles!

  • W: His signature move is the Spinning Pile Driver, which he learned after getting caught in a cyclone while piledrving a bear.

  • B: That is the most awesome thing I've ever heard!

  • W: Actually, wrestling bears has been Zangief's favorite training exercise since he was a kid.

  • Supposedly, he wrestles grizzly bears but these are not native to Russia.

  • It's far more likely he wrestles Ussuri Brown Bears which can weigh up to 1,500lb, well over twice the size of a full grown Grizzly!

  • B: Holy shit! He piledrived one of those into a tornado?

  • W: Battling such a massive beast corresponds with his Russian wrestling training perfectly, forcing the bears to lose their balance and knocking them out cold.

  • Zangief is a loyal Russian through and through, always fighting for his country rather than personal gain.

  • He is often employed by the Russian president as the country's official fighting representative.

  • That said, Zangief is pretty dim witted, more a follower than a leader. He fights with instinct rather than reason.

  • B: All the more reason to get out of his way!

  • "Mmmph! Me Zangief broke you!"

  • W: All right, the combatants are set.

  • B: The unstoppable force against the unmovable Mayor!

  • W: Let's end this debate once and for all.

  • B: Wait up, first I gotta pay for my laser guided kitten cannon!

  • W: Laser what?

  • B: Thanks to Netflix! Suck it up, you babies, this kitten cannon's important to me! *BOOM! Meow!*

  • [Clang!]

  • W: Netflix delivers movies directly to your home saving you time and money.

  • B: If You can use the mailbox, you can use Netflix.

  • W: Instantly watch thousands of TV episodes and movies streaming directly to your PC, Mac or TV using a Netflix ready device like the PS3, 360 or Wii.

  • Plus get DVDs by mail in about 1 business day and as a new member and Death Battle viewer, you can get a free trial membership.

  • B: That's F R E... eh... Free!

  • W: Go to netflix.com/deathbattle and sign up now for your free trial membership.

  • Use this URL, so they know Wiz and Boomstick sent you.

  • B: Right now, it's time for a DEATH BATTLE!

  • [Clang!]

  • *Cues: Intro theme - Saturday Night Slam Masters*

  • FIGHT!

  • KO!

  • B: (Sighs) A great man has fallen today.

  • W: Haggar and Zangief's similar moveset appeared evenly matched, anticipating each other's moves and countering with their signature attack.

  • B: He's led a long productive life, kicking ass, ruling Metro City and keeping the beaches safe from rogue sharks.

  • W: Not only his Zangief almost 100 pounds larger than Haggar, he's also 13 years younger and been training all his life.

  • B: I'm gonna miss that wonderful moustache!

  • W: Zangief's youth and lack of political agenda were enough to give him a slight edge.

  • B: Poor Haggar. He may piledrive sharks, but Zangief's bears were three times larger and probably twice as dangerous.

  • Sure, Haggar grapple a half-ton shark without falling over, but Zangief can push around 1,500lb bears as a hobby, Haggar didn't stand a chance.

  • W: He definitely put up a great fight though.

  • B: That he did. He just found his window of opportunity.

  • W: The winner is Zangief.

  • B: Next time on Death Battle...

  • W: Got an idea for a Death Battle? Leave a comment below. We do read them.

  • B: Special thanks to AC for the Haggar sprites.

  • W: Thanks for watching.

B:This episode of Death Battle brought to you by Netflix. Go to www.netflix.com/deathbattle for your free trial membership.

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B2 wrestling clang mayor death battle battle scottish

Haggar VS Zangief (Final Fight VS Street Fighter) | DEATH BATTLE!

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/02
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