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  • Star Fox, the elite group of anthropomorphic starship Violets.

  • You might be familiar with their heroism defeating an dross and saving coronary a multiple times.

  • But you probably have no idea what happened to the Starbucks crew after the space saga came to a close.

  • I'm Jocelyn the intern.

  • I do all the research nobody else wants to straight from the desk of Death battle.

  • You might not know it, but the Nintendo DS games star Fox Command, is the definitive end to the Siri's.

  • As it stands, despite its less than stellar sales in critical response Star Fox Command is the most in depth game in the franchise, with a total of nine.

  • Count them nine different endings for Fox McLeod and his gang.

  • Some have pretty happy outcomes, but most of them held.

  • Most are just flat out depressing.

  • But one thing they all have in common is that they're batch it crazy.

  • Before we get into the darker stuff.

  • Let's take a look at one of the happier endings in the game called Goodbye Fox, where for no good reason, the team decides to disband.

  • Fox and Crystal settled down together.

  • Fox and Crystal settled down live a quiet life and never fly again because reasons.

  • Oh, who's Krystal?

  • She's that blue fox bimbo from star Fox adventures.

  • Fox loves the shit out of her, and she's a bit of a tramp.

  • That's all you need to know.

  • Their kid Marcus joins the coronary in Army, and it's a total badass pilot.

  • Go figure.

  • Marcus forms a new star Fox team with Sleepy's Cowboy son, a bunny wearing earthworm Jim for a suit, and old grumpy Falco with a random gold leg.

  • And that's that story over.

  • Of course, this is only one of the nine endings before this.

  • You have to beat the game with its default ending first, and that one is nowhere near as happy.

  • It starts pretty much like every ending ever.

  • The dust settles, the world is at peace yada, yada, yada.

  • But then you get your first spoonful of sad When Bam!

  • Right in the heart, the love of Fox's life leaves him to join Star Wolf.

  • You know, the evil, fearsome foursome whose day job is to kill Fox, and she doesn't just betray the team.

  • Oh no, no.

  • She joined Star Wolf because she's been cheating on Fox with their team member.

  • Panther.

  • I told you she was a tramp.

  • Just look at how sad Fox is.

  • He's crying like a little titty baby.

  • It gets worse to.

  • This is the line that closes Fox's story forever, folks.

  • McLeod was forced to wander the world alone and unloved.

  • Damn!

  • Remember, each of these endings are not just different endings to the game, but endings to the entire Siri's itself.

  • In The Star Wolf returns, ending star Wolf overtake star Fox as the premier mercenary group of the lilac system, and everyone everywhere is enamored with them except Crystal.

  • The galaxy hates crystal for dumping Fox, it straight up reads.

  • They begin to hiss as she walks by and named her trader to her face.

  • She is a known and hated look at them.

  • Point laugh.

  • It's like Space High School, and she pooped her pants in gym class yesterday.

  • And if that ugly thing finds her that pathetic, you know things are rough.

  • Years later, she bumps into Fox, who does not even recognise her.

  • Take that bitch, bam!

  • In your face!

  • So, yeah, star Fox has some pretty crazy endings.

  • There's one where Slippy Retires has like an army of Frog Babies and grows super old.

  • And that's all.

  • In another, Falco misses the final battle, gets really depressed and lonely, and then a cat named Cat calls him up.

  • It is all like a Let's make our own team called star Falco, because why the hell not?

  • So that happens.

  • All of these endings air strange, but they are nothing, absolutely nothing.

  • Compared to my personal favorite, this one blows the top off the WTF meter.

  • Okay, so Star Wolf gives Fox and Falco a tip toe.

  • Enter sector.

  • Why alone?

  • To destroy the robo reincarnation of pig mud.

  • The guy responsible for the death of Fox's father after murdering the treacherous swine.

  • See what I did there?

  • You think Fox would be pretty happy, right?

  • Wrong guess what?

  • It was a trick.

  • While Fox was avenging his dead dad, star Wolf saved the galaxy and earned the greatest honors and admiration.

  • All thanks to Fox is hard work as a plus.

  • They stole Fox's girlfriend to again.

  • When Fox finds out he has a meltdown of epic proportions.

  • Okay, so maybe he's not the most articulate space mammal in the galaxy.

  • Disgraced and depressed Fox and Falco leave everything and everyone behind to hide on a distant planet.

  • Quote.

  • Folks lived as one already dead.

  • Barely eating or sleeping does like the saddest thing ever.

  • Bonus.

  • Tip it.

  • In the Japanese version, it says that Fox started to binge eat, which is exactly what I did when my last boyfriend broke up with me.

  • Anyway.

  • In an attempt to cheer up his teary eyed buddy, Falco comes up with an idea, though.

  • Retire as pilots, modify their air rings into cars and enter into the G zero Grand Prix.

  • I shit you.

  • Not since they're bad asses.

  • Fox and Falco win race after race and eventually forget all about their previous space adventures because nothing cures depression like running away from your problems, right?

  • So that's it.

  • Until Nintendo finally decides to revive Star Fox.

  • This is how the whole series ends, strange, confusing and absurdly dismal.

  • Oh, and there's one other ending.

  • I just need to mention there's only one conclusion where the entire star Fox team sticks together.

  • And what's their final mission?

  • The last quest in the epic star Fox saga.

  • They all try to get slippy toad laid.

  • Good luck getting that idea out of your head.

  • Thanks for watching this week, guys.

  • Don't forget we have new episodes every two weeks.

  • If you can't wait that long, check out the other episodes in the annotations.

  • Also, please, like this episode and subscribe to our channel with said that if this episode gets enough likes, I'll be promoted to the role of superstar intern.

  • Whatever that means probably doesn't mean anything.

  • Oh, and make sure to check out another new show we have here on screw attack called Great Moments in Gaming History.

  • Click that box to check out an episode based on everyone's favorite.

  • Wow Mim, Leroy Jenkins.

  • Thanks, guys.

Star Fox, the elite group of anthropomorphic starship Violets.

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B2 fox star yada galaxy yada yada coronary

StarFox has Emotional Issues | Desk of DEATH BATTLE!

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/02
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