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  • (Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates)

  • Boomstick: They're as cold as ice.

  • They're willin' to sacrifice.

  • Wiz: Today we're pitting together two queens of ice.

  • Born into powerful if troubled families.

  • Boomstick: Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee Family and member of the team huntress: RWBY.

  • Wiz: And Mitsuru Kirijo, heiress to the Kirijo Group and member of the Persona wielding S.E.E.S.

  • Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

  • Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor & skills to find out who will win...

  • A DEATH BATTLE!

  • The world of Remnant.

  • Is known for many things.

  • The vicious creatures called: Grimm.

  • The Hunters and Huntress is committed to fighting them and the Schnee family.

  • Boomstick: Yeah they're kind of like royalty and their princess is Weiss Schnee.

  • As the heiress to the family company she grew up in a pretty cold home.

  • Pun intended.

  • Wiz: The Schnee family expected a lot from Weiss it was considered essential that she live up to their highly influential name.

  • Boomstick: Too bad for them she had her own plans.

  • Wiz: Rejecting her father's wishes to remain at home Weiss left to attend Beacon Academy and train to become a huntress.

  • Literally putting the "W" in Team RWBY.

  • Within just a year Weiss established her own name for herself.

  • Saving the kingdom on more than one occasion.

  • And doing so with her trusty blade.

  • Myrtenaster.

  • Boomstick: And that's my cue.

  • Merc-nasty here's a multi-action rapier with a three-foot long blade.

  • But guess what?

  • It's also a gun.

  • Instead of a plain old cross guard.

  • It's got a six slot revolver style chamber that Weiss fills with bullets colored like the rainbow.

  • Wiz: Well, they're not exactly bullets.

  • They're vials of Dust.

  • Which she can fire to enhance her weapon and skills.

  • Ironically the Schnee Dust Company is by far one of the largest producers and exporters of Dust.

  • Boomstick: Wait, wait wait..?

  • They sell dust?

  • I gotta ton of that shit covered in the bookshelf in my trailer.

  • I can sell it and finally have enough money to buy.

  • A second bookshelf!

  • Dust farm here I come!

  • Wiz: No, not that kind of dust.

  • In the world of Remnant; Dust its an energy source often used to fuel vehicles, androids and weapons.

  • Wait you have books?

  • Boomstick: When did I say anythin' about books?

  • Wiz: Well long story short, there are four types of Dust: Air, Lightning, Fire and Water.

  • Boomstick: And Weiss likes to mix water and air together for her favorite: Ice Dust.

  • Yang: And that it's why they call you the "Ice Queen".

  • Wiz: She can also attack with fire, launch a windstorm, block attacks with barriers and many many other techniques.

  • Needless to say Myrtenaster is a surprisingly versatile weapon.

  • Boomstick: She also uses Dust to boost her Semblance.

  • Which is basically her X-Men superpower.

  • Weiss got her's from her family line and can do bunch of stuff with it.

  • Wiz: She can make Glyphs on surfaces or in the air.

  • Each with a different color denoting its ability.

  • Black Glyphs hold things in place while White ones propel things foward.

  • Also by infusing Glyphs with Dust she can manipulate their effects.

  • For example a touch of lightning Dust lets her dilate time.

  • Dramatically increasing her speed.

  • Boomstick: Or even better, she can use the Glyphs to summon monsters to aid her in battle.

  • Beastmaster style!

  • Like this crazy boar, a giant killer wasp and the Arma Gigas.

  • Wiz: Which literally translates to "Giant Armor" in latin.

  • So...

  • fitting.

  • Boomstick: Damn, just imagine how great her family could be if they all didn't hate each other.

  • Unlimited Dust, giant bodyguards you can summon anytime and they'd never be stuck with warm beer.

  • Wiz: Unfortunately the Schnee family does suffer from some rocky relationships.

  • With the exception of Weiss and her older sister: Winter.

  • Boomstick: Wait, wait go back.

  • It's her dad Coronel Sanders?

  • Wiz: I guess there's a certain resemblance.

  • Boomstick: KFC.

  • KFSchnee!?

  • No wonder they're so rich.

  • Wiz: Where did you get that chicken?

  • Boomstick: What?

  • You don't carry pocket chicken?

  • Wiz: So back on topic.

  • Weiss has a very powerful and versatile ability and like most Semblances it's powered by her Aura.

  • Boomstick: Which is like an invisible shield around her body.

  • She's basically unkillable while its up.

  • Wiz: Though the Aura itself it's indestructible, it can be depleted after taking a lot of damage and needs time to restore itself.

  • Without it she cannot use her Semblance and she's much more vulnerable.

  • Boomstick: But that Aura is pretty freakin' tough.

  • It was just enough to take a full on hit from a geiser of lava.

  • Wiz: Lava can reach temperatures of 1.200 degrees celsius enough to melt iron.

  • And during a food fight of all things.

  • She was thrown into a pillar so hard it was obliterated.

  • Boomstick: Hey Wiz I've been in a few food fights in my time.

  • That shit gets intense and that one's tamed by comparison.

  • Wiz: But greatest of all: With a combination of Ice and her Aura she survived riding a top of a speeding train crashing through concrete.

  • By measuring the diameter of the resulting hole and plain values of fragmentation.

  • This means Weiss survived an impact equal to over 7 tons of TNT.

  • Boomstick: But it's not just Weiss that's tough, her Glyphs are strong enough to catapult the Arma Gigas and with her ice powers she knocked around a giant mech built for fightin' Godzilla sized Grimm.

  • Wiz: Compared to the height of her temmate nearby. It appears she created over 2,000 metric tons of ice.

  • Obviously that much ice doesn't fit in two vials of Dust.

  • She's likely using the ocean as a base to insert fusion energy and vaporization energy on the nitrogen in the air; there by freezing at like so at most this would require over 900 billions joules of energy.

  • Equivalent detonating around 230 tons of TNT.

  • Boomstick: Wow no wonder she can push this bid old robot around.

  • Plus Weiss can also move super quick, dodgin' missiles and even hittin' bullets out of the air.

  • Wiz: And with Time Dilation she can stay nearly untouchable while taking out her opponents in the blink of an eye.

  • Boomstick: Like that old sayin': "Float like an innertube on a lazy river and sting like your pee in the morning".

  • Wiz: Please go to a doctor.

  • Throughout her journey Weiss has overcome all sorts of dangers.

  • But her most difficult task may have been the moment her father cut her off the family.

  • Leaving her financially broke and dismissed from her birthright.

  • Boomstick: Aw boohoo no more allowance.

  • Still she power through and made a name for herself as a huntress.

  • With the RWBY team at her back I think she's found the family she truly belongs to.

  • Weiss: I'm more than a name.

  • Wiz: In the early 2000s you'd be hard-pressed to find someone in Japan who who didn't know of the Kirijo group.

  • A global conglomerate involved in nearly every aspect of daily life and the heiress to this impressive company was a young girl named Mitsuru Kirijo.

  • Boomstick: But unknown to her.

  • The family company was into some pretty sketchy stuff.

  • Her grandpa started experimentin' with some sort of mental world called the mind place.

  • Wiz: Or more officially the Collective Unconscious.

  • A realm connected to every living being subconscious mind.

  • And within the Collective Unconscious dwells Shadows.

  • Fragments of human psyche which often appear as malevolent monsters.

  • Boomstick: They're basically demons.

  • Wiz: Kind of.

  • However, there's another sort more directly integrated with the minds of individual people effectively becoming their Shadow Selves.

  • Boomstick: Though some of them are demons who want to kill you and some of them are demons who are part of your brain?

  • Wiz: Eh, close enough.

  • Boomstick: Well Gramps tried to get the Shadows for himself, but does anyone who try to summon demons will tell you.

  • Trust me.

  • It never works out.

  • And when it does...

  • It doesn't.

  • Wiz: Chaos incarnate erupted.

  • The resulting explosion from his experiment released the Shadows into reality to prey on an unsuspecting populace.

  • And unveiled the Tartarus a citadel between worlds.

  • The Earth was drastically changed with a new dark hour.

  • An extra hour of time occurring at midnight.

  • Boomstick: Most folks didn't notice though the world basically freezes in time during the dark hour includin' people.

  • So nobody's got to pick up a new 25 hour clock.

  • 'Cause when the hour runs up everythin' continues like nothin' happened.

  • It's like gettin' an extra hour of secret sleep.

  • Wiz: But some people are able to operate during this hour including Mitsuru.

  • Which she decided to take full advantage of.

  • Boomstick: Yeah she felt pretty guilty about her family basically ruinin' everythin' and sendin' hundreds of murder monsters into the world.

  • So she swore to fix her grandpappy's mess.

  • Wiz: And while she is certainly skilled with a rapier thanks to her time in fencing club.

  • A single sword would never be enough to combat the hordes of Shadows.

  • Luckily her first experience with the dark hour helped her out in this regard.

  • Boomstick: That's one way to put it she and her dad were almost murdered by spooky Shadows.

  • Wiz: But this event also led to an awakening with the threat of death itself mere seconds away.

  • Mitsuru dug deep within and found a new weapon.

  • Her Shadow Self.

  • Boomstick: And that's how she became a Person user.

  • Wiz: Persona user.

  • Boomstick: Yeah that's what I said.

  • Wiz: Thanks to this fateful night Mitsuru can summon a manifestation of her personality known as a Persona.

  • This was Penthesilea who would eventually evolve into her ultimate form Artemisia.

  • Boomstick: Artie is the best non imaginary friend you could ask for.

  • She's got all sorts of powerful ice spells.

  • She can heal Mitsuru's wounds.

  • She can drain someone's energy and add it to Mitsuru's own and she can blow people up with Mega-di-uh-um...

  • It's a big purple kaboom that ignores special defenses.

  • Anyway and to top it all she's got a kinky ice whip.

  • Wiz: While Artemisia cannot really be killed.

  • She does have her limits when a Persona is overtaxed or takes too much damage it becomes broken.

  • And unusable for a short time.

  • Boomstick: And since Artemisia is technically part of Mitsuru mind when the Persona gets hurt so does she.

  • Wiz: But this connection also grant Mitsuru her own set of special powers.

  • She's physically superior to most others.

  • She can also sense the locations of people and layouts of buildings through Analytical Clairvoyance.

  • She's also immune to ice and the cold.

  • So I'm not really sure why she needs a giant fur coat.

  • Boomstick: Everyone needs a good fur coat Wiz.

  • Come on.

  • Wiz: I guess it is a pretty nice coat.

  • Anyway Mitsuru wasn't going into battle alone.

  • She gathered a team of Persona users to form the Specialized Extra Curricular Execution Squad or S.E.E.S. which is much easier to say.

  • The teens set out to explore the Tartarus.

  • Combat the Shadows and put an end to the dark hour.

  • While also scoring some extra credits because it was technically an after school club.

  • Boomstick: Japanese schools are way more hardcore than ours.

  • Wiz: And with a team at her back Mitsuru needed a tool to reliably summon Personas with.

  • And so came the Evoker.

  • Which might be a little disturbing to some people.

  • So...

  • Fair warning.

  • Boomstick: Yeah looks just like a gun and that's kind of the point.

  • The idea it's to use the gun to create an extremely dramatic experience similar to how Mitsuru first invoke her own Persona.

  • Wiz: Specifically this is accomplish by aiming the thing at your face and pulling the trigger.

  • Boomstick: Yeah that's definitely not how guns are supoosed to work.

  • Wiz: Questionable concepts aside, Mitsuru and her Persona are an absolute terror on the battlefield.

  • Boomstick: OH GOD!

  • Did...

  • Did she just cut that thing's dick!?

  • Wiz: Yes she did Boomstick.

  • And it was a godamn canon.

  • Boomstick: Oh the horrible but also canon dick.

  • Wiz: Mitsuru is quick enough to dodge gunfire, heck another Persona user it's even fast enough to outrun a bullet fired by a Magnum.

  • Boomstick: Those usually have a muscle velocity over 360 meters per second.

  • Wiz: And Personas can move even faster.

  • Naoto's could react to and catch an arrow in miliseconds.

  • And Mitsuru has defeated her in battle.

  • Boomstick: But hey about that time Mitsuru and her whole team survived an explosion that totally wreck this whole bridge.

  • Now in my humble opinion usin' my very own handcrafted munitions measurement chart.

  • I say this blast falls somewhere in the range of "Oh Shit we're Dead".

  • Wiz: Interesting but let's use some real science now.

  • Boomstick: THIS IS REAL SCIENCE.

  • I tested explosions and they're real effects on real people just like you would.

  • I'm a real scientist now.

  • Wiz: But that's...

  • Wait real people?

  • Boomstick.

  • Where are the interns?

  • Boomstick: Huh I...

  • Hey look I got you "that" coat that you wanted.

  • Wiz: Oh thank you.

  • It's so soft.

  • Boomstick: (whispering) So are the interns.

  • But hey uh Wiz there's one more math thing you gotta do.

  • By workin' with another Persona user Yukari.

  • Mitsuru helped freezed up this giant creppy puppet monster.

  • Wiz: Well again taking nitrogen into a count as in comprises 70% of air's makeup.

  • We can apply it's required fusion energy and vaporization energy to find this feat would need an energy output equal to 60 kilotons of TNT.

  • Though this can't all be attributed to Mitsuru as she did had help.

  • Boomstick: That still hell a lot of ice.

  • Mitsuru and Artemisia sure make a powerful pair.

  • Wiz: And even after sucessfully ending the dark hour and redeeming her family name.

  • Mitsuru continued battling for people everywhere.

  • One Shadow at a time.

  • Mitsuru: This appears to be just the beginning.

  • Wiz: All right the combatants are set.

  • And we've run the data through all possibilities.

  • Boomstick: But first I'm all out of pocket chicken so let's get somethin' better with Blue Apron.

  • Wiz: By now, you've probably heard of Blue Apron the leading meal kit delivery service in the US.

  • Boomstick: Choose your meals each week get the ingredients delivered to your doorstep and whip up a meal usin' the easy to follow directions provided.

  • Wiz: With an ever-changing mix of meat fish and vegetarian recipes to choose from.

  • You're all set for a tasty summer.

  • Boomstick: Who has time to think <