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  • Boomstick: Bounty hunting, one of the most respected and fun jobs in the world.

  • Wiz: I don't know about respected, but certainly a daring profession only for the strong and bold.

  • Boomstick: Boba Fett, the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy.

  • Wiz: And Samus Aran, a hunter so determined she'll sacrifice a planet to reach her goal.

  • Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

  • Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

  • Wiz: Boba Fett is unnatural in more ways than one.

  • He was not born into the galaxy, rather, created, as a clone of the fearsome bounty hunter Jango Fett.

  • Boomstick: Not fearsome enough, though. He tended to get ahead of himself...He he he...

  • Wiz: As his "father", Jango taught Boba all he knew about his profession

  • and despite being orphaned at age ten, Boba continued to live the hunter's life,

  • eventually donning his father's armor and claiming his rightful place as the greatest bounty hunter in the galaxy.

  • Boomstick: Complete with the most badass space-suit ever, his Mandalorian armor.

  • It's got a micro energy field that disperses impacts, and is made up of Mandalorian iron.

  • Wiz: Okay, I think at this point, it's safe to assume every universe has some metal stronger than titanium.

  • Though, to this one's credit, it's actually a lot heavier, sacrificing mobility for durability.

  • In fact, it's so durable it resists lightsabers... you know, the swords that can cut through anything.

  • Boomstick: His gauntlets house a flamethrower, fibercord whip, and numerous concussion and stun missiles.

  • But his weapon of choice is his EE-3 carbine rifle, which Fett often cradles like a child. There there, EE. Daddy's here. Killin' time's soon.

  • Wiz: That's... creepy.

  • Boomstick: However, my favorite thing in Boba's bag is his badass jetpack.

  • Wiz: Which he uses for short-range travel, and to gain a mobility advantage over his foes.

  • While it can only hold enough fuel for a single minute's worth of flight, its velocity reaches up to 90 miles per hour.

  • Boomstick: The jetpack also has a single anti-vehicle homing missile, because when you've got space for a missile, why not?

  • Wiz: In short, Boba Fett is a human Swiss army knife.

  • He's killed hundreds of criminals, politicians, and Jedi, and battled Mace Windu to a draw when he was only 12 years old.

  • Boomstick: An accomplishment so manly, it instantly kick-started his puberty.

  • Wiz: But for all his skill, Fett has one great, inescapable weakness:

  • the Sarlacc Pit.

  • This flaw is so unavoidable, he was knocked into the pit by a blind and physically drained Han Solo while wearing a jetpack.

  • Boomstick: And since Disney bought Star Wars and nixed the expanded universe, this is where Boba Fett's story officially ends.

  • Wiz: But that's stupid, so here's what happened in the expanded universe!

  • Wiz: Using a combination of his jetpack and blowing himself up, Fett actually escaped the Sarlacc.

  • He later became leader of the Madalorian warriors after the Galactic Civil War, and even held his own against Darth Vader...

  • twice.

  • Boomstick: While using one of several lightsabers he's taken from his Jedi kills, and that's pretty goddamn impressive,

  • but you know what's even more impressive?

  • The time he trained Han Solo's Jedi daughter so that she could kill an evil all-powerful Sith Lord

  • who just so happened to be her own brother!

  • Spoilers

  • Unfortunately, Fett's greatest weakness still remains that toothy sand vagina.

  • Wiz: He has fallen into the Sarlacc a total of three times.

  • Three!

  • And the Sarlacc's not exactly running around looking for snacks. It's a friggin' hole in the ground!

  • Boomstick: And again, he can fly!

  • Fun fact: Every year following his escape,

  • Boba Fett returns to the planet Tattooine just to shoot the Sarlacc.

  • In his spaceship.

  • From orbit.

  • He's learned his lesson, he's staying as far away from that shit as he possibly can.

  • Wiz: Fear of teethy holes aside, few have survived once he's set his sights on them.

  • Boba Fett is a whole new meaning of deadly.

  • Darth Vader: No disintegrations.

  • Boba Fett: As you wish.

  • Wiz: When she was young, Samus Aran lived with her family on Earth colony K-2L

  • until one fateful day it was sacked by an army of Space Pirates led by the vile Ridley, a giant purple space dragon.

  • Boomstick: Ridley murdered her parents right in front of her along with the rest of the planet.

  • Literally everyone except for Samus.

  • So PTSD therapists were in pretty short supply.

  • Wiz: Thankfully, Samus was rescued by the Chozo, bird-like aliens who raised her to become a warrior.

  • She was infused with Chozo DNA, increasing her strength, speed, and athletic ability far beyond those of a normal human being.

  • Boomstick: So... does she like... now have a bad habit of pecking at food and shitting on peoples' cars?

  • Wiz: No. She wears the Power Suit, typically in Varia form, shielding her entire body without restricting any movement or flexibility.

  • Boomstick: Too bad it makes her look like a dude.

  • Wiz: Though underneath, she wears the skintight Zero Suit...

  • Boomstick: There we go! They must call it that because there's literally zero left to the imagination.

  • While in that Zero Suit, she carries a paralyzer pistol, a gun which

  • can... well... paralyze people. And turn into a laser whip.

  • Wiz: But she definitely prefers the Power Suit in most combat situations.

  • As a modified version of Chozo battle armor developed specifically for Samus, it can also be upgraded to adapt to any environment.

  • Boomstick: Samus carries the powerful Arm Cannon as her primary weapon and she's found quite a few upgrades for it over the years.

  • Though the basic Power Beam is a peashooter. When you charge it up, it'll blow your face clean off.

  • She can also set it to blast an Ice Beam, Grapple Beam, and tons of seeking and Super Missiles.

  • Wiz: Her Chozo training lets Samus control the skies with the speedy Screw Attack and curl into her Morph Ball form to traverse places few others can.

  • Boomstick: How the hell does she do that?

  • Wiz: Bird DNA, Boomstick. Bird DNA

  • Boomstick: Yeah, because we all know how many times you scare a bird in the parking lot and then it just curls up into a ball and zooms away.

  • Wiz: ALIEN bird DNA.

  • Boomstick: Well then F that planet and its birds.

  • But I do like their Power Bombs... which Samus carries and can be used to destroy anything in the general vicinity in seconds.

  • Wiz: Samus is known as a bounty hunter capable of taking on impossible missions, fighting massive beasts, and even wiping out an entire species.

  • Boomstick: All but one. Talk about having the rarest pet in the universe. And it makes a cute hat!

  • Wiz: However, she often makes mistakes. Somehow, she always seems to lose all her power-ups and upgrades at the beginning of every mission.

  • Boomstick: How has she not gotten a purse yet?

  • Wiz: Well even when she does have all her arsenal at her disposal, it doesn't guarantee its use.

  • For example, she once entered a volcano and did not activate her thermal systems until halfway through the mission.

  • All because she was waiting for permission.

  • Boomstick: Ugh, can we please not talk about that game?

  • Wiz: But don't worry. Samus has proven time and time again to be one of the deadliest hunters in the galaxy.

  • Outlaws everywhere fear the name of Samus Aran.

  • Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

  • Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

  • REMASTERED!

  • Wiz: Fett put up a fight to the best of his ability, but Samus' superior technology and athletic skill trumped him in every way.

  • Boomstick: While Fett may be more durable and physically stronger, Samus has dealt with foes like that all her life.

  • Wiz: Boba Fett really didn't have the means necessary to catch Samus, let alone perfectly counter Samus' Power Bombs, Screw Attack, and Ice Beam.

  • Boomstick: Sure, Boba's killed plenty of Jedi and survived a run-in with Vader,

  • but his greatest victories usually stem from his cunning. He's a master of playing his enemies into his hands.

  • Wiz: But when it comes to Samus, Fett had little to work with.

  • Samus specifically modeled her bounty hunter career around anonymity.

  • She's even commonly mistaken as a man by the very people who want to hire her,

  • making it extremely difficult for Fett to get a read on her.

  • Boomstick: Fett just couldn't keep his head in the game.

  • Wiz: The winner is Samus Aran.

Boomstick: Bounty hunting, one of the most respected and fun jobs in the world.

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B2 fett boba fett bounty hunter jedi bird

Boba Fett VS Samus Aran (Remastered) | DEATH BATTLE!

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/02
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