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Chad: Today we've got data on basically everything we want to learn about and with 23andMe this includes your own DNA.
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Ben: With over 125 generic reports 23andMe can give you insight about your health, traits, ancestry and so much more.
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Chad: That's the number 2,3 and me.com/deathbattle
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Again that's 23andMe.com/deathbattle
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(Cues: Wiz & Boomstick - Brandon Yates)
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Wiz: Some people are born to be heroes or villains.
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But many are thrust upon these roles with very little regard and must simply make the best of their new stressful life.
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Boomstick: Like Black Widow, the covert enemy turned ally of the Avengers.
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Wiz: And Widowmaker, the deadly but unwitting adversary of Overwatch.
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Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
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Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE!
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Natalia Romanov, more commonly known as the anglicized Natasha Romanoff, is one of the more curious members of the legendary Avengers.
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Boomstick: Yeah, unlike most of them, she doesn't have any ridiculous superpowers.
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And she even started out as a bad guy!
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Wiz: Like many secret agents, Natasha's past is a mystery.
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One account claimed she was raised by a soldier named Ivan Petrovich, who taught her the art of combat.
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His teachings were so affluent, that Natasha was kidnapped by an order of assassins known as The Hand, intending to train her as their master assassin.
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Boomstick: Luckily, Wolverine and Captain Boy Scout rescued her.
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But, she eventually put her talents to use, workin' for the KGB and becomin' a famous ballerina.
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Wiz: However, the most likely story was that Petrovich admitted a young Natasha to a secret soviet program called the Black Widow Ops.
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There, in the infamous Red Room, Natasha was trained to be the deadliest spy in the world.
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Boomstick: She learned all sorts of stealth, assassination, and martial arts techniques.
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Includin' the newly invented Sambo style.
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Which is basically like street fightin' Judo mixed with the craziest grapplin' moves ever.
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Like, how does she even do that?
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Are Russians magic?
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Wiz: She learned dozens of other martial arts, including Karate, Mui Tay, Aikido, and Kung Fu.
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Boomstick: And she's mastered all sorts of weaponry, becomin' an expert marksman.
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Damn, sign me up for the spider ops!
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Wiz: Don't get the wrong idea.
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The Red Room was Brutal.
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Natasha was brainwashed, literally programmed with false memories, which included her days as a ballerina.
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She was even forced to duel other members to the death.
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Crazy to think about considering how much went into each one's training.
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But all the more to transform her into the ultimate stone-cold spy, codenamed Black Widow.
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Boomstick: Eh, sometimes that's what you got to do if you want to be a winner.
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When I was a kid, Mama Boomstick trained me and some friends to eat over 60 hot dogs in 10 minutes.
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I was the only one who survived.
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Wiz: That's...
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Wow.
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Boomstick: You should see comin' out.
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Wiz: Well while Natasha was plenty deadly on her own she got one more gift from the Red Room.
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Boomstick: A Super Soldier Serum.
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Because at the time everyone in there dog was trying to make the next Captain America.
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But she wound up with the knockoff dollar store version 'cause the Nazis decided to kill the only person in the world who knew how to make it.
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Seriously what was this guy thinkin'?
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Wiz: Even still she received some impressive benefits.
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Including a beyond Olympic level physique inhuman resistance to poison and disease and slowed aging.
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Boomstick: So she gets to keep her good looks for over a century.
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Wiz: And run up to 35 miles an hour.
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Boomstick: Just as pretty good too.
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Wiz: As the Black Widow Natasha quickly proved her dominance over her peers soon becoming the KGB's top operative.
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Taking on the most perilous of missions It wasn't long until she found herself face to face with an adversary who proved her match...
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Iron Man.
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Boomstick: Hey when it takes a super suit with enough mutagen to wipe out a whole city to stop you.
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Y'know you're pretty good at what you do.
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Wiz: To destroy Iron Man and his team of Avengers.
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Black Widow recruited Hawkeye and attempted to sway him to the dark side.
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But to her surprise.
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The exact opposite happened.
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Boomstick: Yeah it turns out Hawkeye is so goddamn handsome that he literally love-struck the brainwashin' out of her.
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Wiz: And so Black Widow betrayed her country and became an ally of the Avengers.
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And while keeping up with the likes of Iron Man and Thor is no easy feat.
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She held her own not just with her amazing talents, but also her plethora of gear and gadgets.
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Boomstick: Where does she keep them all in that bodysuit?
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It's like super tight.
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I mean not that I'm complainin' or anythin', but the legistics are babblin'.
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Wiz: Well, not only is her suit composed of an abnormally durable Kevlar she has several gadgets hidden within her gauntlets.
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The Widow's line is a retractable grappling hook that lets her swing like Spider-Man.
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Cartridges of tear gas pellets and explosives serve obvious purposes and then there's the Widow's Bite.
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Boomstick: What like a spider bite and how's that supposed to...
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(Boomstick being electrocuted)
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Huh?
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Wow.
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That was pretty...
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Shocking Wiz!
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(Laughs)
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You broke your glasses idiot!
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Oh, god I've seen this comin'!
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Wiz: Even without the KGB Black Widow remains one of the top assassins in the world.
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She's so skilled with a sniper rifle, she could cut Hawkeye's bowstring while he's in mid shot forcing him to miss his target.
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To put this in perspective the average thickness of compound bow string is about one hundred of an inch thick.
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That's as thin as a fingernail.
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And she made this shot from hundreds of feet away.
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Boomstick: She's quick enough to easily dodge point-blank gunfire skilled enough to defeat 100 men by herself.
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And strong enough to snap a guy's neck with just one kick.
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Wiz: Pretty impressive as it takes around 600 pounds of force to break the human neck.
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Boomstick: She's so goddamn tough she's takin' a grenade to the face from a few feet away and she was fine.
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She fell four stories through a mounted sight into a car and she was fine.
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So much for that Super Serum being dollar-store junk right?
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Wiz: Well this durability extends beyond physical toughness after all she doesn't exactly have bulletproof skin or anything like that.
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Rather she possesses a staggeringly strong drive to survive.
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No matter what.
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Boomstick: Yeah, like the time when she had to go through intensive surgery while she was still conscious.
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Just imagine she felt every cut, every pole, every movement as the surgeon sliced open her stomach and sewed up her insides.
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Despite the incredible pain throughout this entire ordeal which likely lasted several hours for her own sake she could not move a muscle.
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Boomstick: I think I'm gonna throw up.
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Oh that reminds me of my vasectomy.
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Both of 'em.
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Wiz: But even alongside the Avengers; Natasha maintains a gray sense of morality.
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Her path to redemption has been a rocky one as her personal quest to destroy the Red Room has left a trail of bodies in its wake.
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Boomstick: This is one red head you don't want mess with.
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Wiz: While the stories of many world-class assassins often carry a truckload of baggage.
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Few are quite as heartbreaking as the case of Amélie Lacroix.
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Boomstick: That's even more true than you think, but we'll get there.
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Wiz: Growing up, Amélie never aspired or trained for combat.
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In fact, she devoted much of her life to becoming a world-renowned ballerina in Paris, France.
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Boomstick: Y'know, I've noticed it's almost a requirement for all badass assassins to be ballerinas or somethin'.
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So I've started workin' on a few moves myself.
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Wiz: What, wait hold on!
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Amélie's husband, however, was a key figure for Overwatch.
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A global peacekeeping organization spearheading operations against a terrorist group called Talon.
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Boomstick: Talon tried over and over to kill this guy, but they just couldn't pull it off.
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So instead, they kidnapped Amélie.
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Damn!
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Not cool.
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Wiz: Thankfully, Overwatch quickly rescued her, and life returned to normal.
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Boomstick: Or did it?
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Nope!
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Because out of nowhere, Amélie killed her hubbie in his sleep.
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Wiz: Turns out, the kidnapping wasn't just a simple ransom or attempted lure.
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Talon ruthlessly subjected Amélie to intense neurological reconditioning.
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Molding her into the perfect brainwashed sleeper agent.
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Boomstick: Right, because she was sleepin' next to him in their bed and then bam!
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First kill!
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Sleeper agent!
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Wiz: Right, sure.
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She returned to Talon to complete their psychological and physiological reconfiguration process.
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When all was said and done.
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Amélie Lacroix was no more.
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In her place stood the cold-hearted assassin known as Widowmaker.
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Boomstick: Ah, I get why she's called Widowmaker!
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Though it is kind of weird that the widow she was makin'...
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Was her.
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Wiz: Brilliant deduction, Boomstick.
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Widowmaker embodies the coldhearted killer trope so well, it's actually literal.
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Talon's experiments slowed her heart rate and suppressed her emotions.
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Turning her into an actual cold-blooded killing machine.
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Hence the cold blue skin.
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Boomstick: That's not really a thing is it?
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Turnin' your skin blue like that?
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I just figured she was the girl Smurf all grown up.
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It's gotta be some trauma.
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Wiz: There's actually a pretty easy way to turn your skin blue.
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You just need to drink some coal oil silver.
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Boomstick: Uh is it safe?
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Wiz: Oh yeah. Sure. No doubt. It's 100% non-toxic silver.
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Boomstick: Okay bottoms up.
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Wiz: (laughs)
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Anyway, the blue makeover wasn't just for show with her heart rate down her body's movements and vibrations are highly reduced.
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Boomstick: The blood pulsin' through your hands can actually bump up your shot.
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It's not by a lot but when you're aimin' at somethin' a thousand yards away even a tiny bit of movement matters.
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Wiz: This might not sound too difficult until you consider that a typical human heart rate in a stressful situation can exceed 100 beats per minute.
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A perfect sniper has to time their shots between almost two beats per second.
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Boomstick: So even though she's started pretty late Widowmaker skip years of killin' people school with just this one little tweak.
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Wiz: Talon's manifesto is that humanity is made stronger through conflict.
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And so Widowmaker was taught a variety of different combat and covert techniques to be ready for any violent possibilities.
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Boomstick: She's ridiculously athletic.
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Just look at her go.
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And she's got plenty of handy tools to help her kill people even faster.
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Wiz: She carries a grappling hook with a 65-foot cable perfect for getting around any terrain in an instant.
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Her Venom Mines stick to most surfaces and after being triggered by movement release a deadly toxin.
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Boomstick: And give her a ping in her funny-lookin' spider helmet.
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Wiz: That's Widowmaker's Recon Visor.
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Basically multi-screen super goggles.
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They provide infrared sight that spots heat signatures through walls and transmits multiple feets.
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Boomstick: Then there's her signature weapon the one the only Widow's Kiss.
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It may look like an oversized SMG but with a click of a button it turns into a badass Sniper Rifle.
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As a sniper this baby can fire at four different levels of power a fully charged shot hits ten times stronger than a standard one.
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Makin' the Widow's Kiss one of the deadliest rifles in the world.
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Unless you're wearin' some really heavy armor.
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It'll kill pretty much anyone with just one shot.
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Wiz build me one now.
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Wiz: Yeah with your luck your handle probably gets stuck in one of the moving parts and I'll have to be the one to amputate it and build you a mechanical replacement.
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Yeah I'm in.
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Boomstick: You don't know that.
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Stupid Wiz!
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Wiz: Widowmaker is one of Talon's top agents and has the feats to prove it.
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She's taken on Overwatch members multiple times.
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Effortlessly defeating some of their own top agents like fellow sniper Anna Amari whose cybernetic eye can see six times greater than a normal one.
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And she pulls this off while achieving ulterior goals such as when she baited Tracer into unknowingly allowing her to assassinate a diplomat.
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That's some intense on-the-fly multitasking.
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Boomstick: And she's way tougher than she looks.
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Her visor can protect her from a sniper shot to the face and she even took a hit from Doomfist Gauntlet.
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This thing can take down a skyscraper.
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But she was fine.
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While it wasn't wielded by Doomfist himself at the time it clearly struck with some serious power.
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An average skyscraper ranges between 250 to 300 feet tall.
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To topple in one go you'd need a force equivalent to at least 2 tons of TNT.
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Boomstick: You sure Talon didn't slip her some super serum and a drink or anythin'?
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'Cause that's ridiculous.
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Wiz: Also Wild Range combat may be her forte Widowmaker is skilled enough to take out an entire armed security force up close while avoiding their gunfire.
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Boomstick: The blue bombshell can do it all.
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Kind of sucks that Talon trained her of all emotion 'cause now she can't appreciate how badass she is.
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Kind of like how I sometimes forget I have a shotgun for a leg.
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Until it...
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AAH! (Shotgun shot)
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Wiz: God I hate when that happens.
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Talon's experiments may have yielded astounding results.
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But I'm not sure they were quite so thorough.
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In fact every Christmas a certain blue skinned woman can be found leaving a rose at her late husband's grave.
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So maybe just maybe.
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Amélie isn't quite gone for good.
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Widowmaker: A single death can change everything.
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Wiz: All right the combatants are set.
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And we've run the data through all possibilities.
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Boomstick: But first...
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Wiz: The internet is a complicated beast.
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Just think about how often you use public online networks like in hotels, restaurants, airports.
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Boomstick: Or when I borrow my neighbors Wi-Fi I because they never setup the password.
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Wiz: For those of us who want to protect our privacy this can be disastrous.
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Public networks can get certain hackers ways to steal your info such as credit cards and emails.
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The best way to protect yourself is with a virtual private network and ExpressVPN has you covered.
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Boomstick: ExpressVPN uses their digital magic to encrypt your internet data.
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Shieldin' it from anybody who's tryin' to dig their way in.
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Wiz: And as the name implies ExpressVPN is consistently faster than other VPN providers.
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With server locations in 94 countries around the world there's of options to choose from.
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And as a bonus you can make your internet think you're in someplace a little more exotic.
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Boomstick: Like Canada.
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Wiz: Take back your internet privacy today and find out how you can get three months free by clicking the link below.
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Or by going expressvpn.com/battle