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  • crossovers As popular now as Jingo genes were in the nineties, there is nothing better than seeing some of the characters we love teamed up with others in a mashed up, contrived storyline.

  • But what massive, earth shattering cause could bring about such colossal collusion?

  • Well, marijuana A very for I'm Jocelyn the intern.

  • I do all the research nobody else wants to.

  • Straight from the desk of battle, let's travel back to 1990 the time of after school specials and dogs.

  • McDonald's commissioned a P S.

  • A.

  • Featuring nearly every popular cartoon character of the day to help kids kick their nasty drug habits.

  • Yeah, I'm talking Winnie the Pooh Garfield and Bugs Bunny hanging out with a goddamn teenage mutant Ninja turtle.

  • They called it Cartoon All Stars to the rescue.

  • The story starts with our main character, Michael, stealing a piggy bank from his younger sister.

  • You know, like an asshole.

  • Of course, he smashes the bank for drug money, right?

  • There must be 20 blocks in here.

  • Easy.

  • Maybe one reason to stop smoking so much dope is so you can count better rain, Man.

  • That's like seven bucks tops.

  • Anyway, this act of larceny somehow causes all sorts of cartoon characters to inexplicably come to life and step into the plain of his reality.

  • Alvin the Chipmunks and ALF Discover Michael Stash, where Simon identifies it as marijuana.

  • My guess would be marijuana and lawful substance used to experience artificial highs.

  • Come to think of it, Simon knows a suspicious amount about weed from morning at least took a hit for science, if you ask me.

  • So now that our favorite nineties friends have confirmation that Michael is a felt A pop had everyone except who who, I guess thought it would be too much of a father decided, Chases asked down and scare the hell out of him.

  • In the meantime, Michael's smoking pot right in the middle of the arcade next to Mrs Pacman Gal ago with his friends.

  • And since this is a P.

  • S.

  • A.

  • They, of course, had to personify the monkey on Michael's back and created this smoke monster guy who kind of looks like Texas from Fern Gully in a business suit.

  • Anyway, Michael's hanging out with the off brand cast of Captain Planet.

  • Their powers combined to form crack, but before the game starts smoking that sweet, sweet moon rock bugs.

  • Money shows up dressed as a cup.

  • The ridiculousness really ramps up with Bugs.

  • Bunny whips out a device that can only be a time machine.

  • Yeah, it's time to learn from your ways Christmas Carol style.

  • Immediately after a black and white rendition of Michael's intro to Weed, he magically ends up at a park with his friends, trying to answer that age old question of whether or not to do crack until Hlinka jacks his wallet and legs it.

  • What What the hell is this?

  • Requiem for a Dream for Kids.

  • This, of course, leads him to fall into a manhole where Michelangelo, who somehow already knows all about Michael's problems, gives him a pep talk.

  • Time out.

  • Okay, let's just like pause for a second.

  • If you're going to send a ninja turtle to tell a kid to not do drugs, would you really send Michelangelo?

  • No, I didn't think so, thinking.

  • Maybe he has some addictions of his own there.

  • Anyway, Turtle Michael flushes non turtle Michael down the sewers toilet where naturally he lands in a roller coaster card inside his own brain run by the baby versions of Kermit the frog and Miss Peggy Heat.

  • Kermie, Maybe next.

  • Maybe next time, don't use a 15 year old second favorite thing to dissuade them from using their first favorite thing.

  • Listen, I could go on and on every detail of this P s a is ripe for mocking.

  • But for the sake of time, we're gonna jump to around the 18 minute mark where it becomes a full on musical.

  • All of the characters emerged from the bar against our to sing about the many ways to say no to drugs.

  • Okay, I got to give credit where it's due, and they at least put in a verse that contains an effective method of refusing drugs.

  • Just lie after the cheery musical number, things get pretty dark.

  • This is the part where the animators attempt to scare the living shit out of not just Michael, but every child, every single one of you watching so that they associate bad feelings with drugs.

  • And who should be the finale of this amusement park of terror?

  • None other than Jaffe.

  • Mother ducking duck.

  • Hey, thanks.

  • Auto correct.

  • Finally, Daffy shows Michael his future, and he sees himself as what appears to be a zombie, a living corpse that this teenager has to come face to face with.

  • Alphen friends continue to give Michael advice as he breaks out before he finally throws the smoke monster out of a window to save himself and his little sister.

  • And even though all of these characters manifested in different ways, they somehow you end up on a poster together in Michael's Room.

  • So say goodbye to pot crack and your stuff, Winnie the Pooh Bear.

  • Oh, fun fact.

  • Even the production of this 30 minute special was a crossover of sorts.

  • It was financed by McDonald's, produced by the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences Foundation, aired on all four major networks and featured a video message from President George H.

  • W.

  • Bush and first lady Barbara Bush on the home video release.

  • I guess this was a pretty big deal.

crossovers As popular now as Jingo genes were in the nineties, there is nothing better than seeing some of the characters we love teamed up with others in a mashed up, contrived storyline.

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B1 michael turtle marijuana smoking pooh crack

Cartoon All Stars VS Drugs | Desk of DEATH BATTLE

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/02
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