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  • Thank yeah.

  • Our 10 year birthday marathon is on Monday.

  • Where are we streaming on Twitter and YouTube.

  • Gaming?

  • Yeah, for, like, 48 hours straight, right?

  • Yeah.

  • We should probably, like, tell people about it.

  • Yeah, we should, Right.

  • 99% of the time.

  • A comic book villain has at least one characteristic that strikes fair into the hearts and minds of the helpless citizens of Promise World.

  • Take the Joker, for instance.

  • Sure, his name might not be very intimidating, but he has a lot of other characteristics that make up for it.

  • Doomsday pretty much checks all the boxes.

  • He ain't doing nothing but being a villain and ruining people's days.

  • But today we aren't going to talk about them.

  • Today, we're going to talk about the other 1%.

  • I'm Jocelyn, the intern.

  • I do all the research nobody else wants to.

  • Straight from the Desko Death battle.

  • Now, since there are so so many shitty villains, we're going to boil it down to just Batman villains.

  • And trust me, that still leaves us with a pretty damn full plate.

  • Okay, let's start.

  • It's stupid and moved to really goddamn idiotic.

  • Allow me to introduce you to the king of Cats who happens to be cat woman's brother and also a complete what?

  • He's just your average run of the mill cat burglar who happens to dress like this and drive around in a giant cat mobile.

  • The King of Cats did like one crime and then got caught by Batman.

  • After that, he felt bad and spent two years in jail.

  • Think about that two years.

  • His criminal record was so lackluster he only got two years.

  • Should play.

  • You'll do a nickel for smoking a joint.

  • Try harder next time.

  • Cat King.

  • Now let's look at Kite Man.

  • He's a guy that owns a hang glider and happens to also do crimes with kite themed weapons.

  • Yeah, that's really about all there is to say about Kite Man.

  • Calendar Man is a criminal who commits crimes on very specific days.

  • I shit you not.

  • It's because he really likes calendars.

  • Let's see.

  • Um oh, we can't forget about Humpty Dumpty who likes toe put stuff back together, including his dead grandmother.

  • Also, he looks suspiciously like Mario.

  • Sometimes Mr Camera has a fucking camera for ahead.

  • So there's that.

  • Before we continue, I just want to remind you that all of these villains were not only thought up, but actually made it to the pages.

  • And Crazy Quilt is a prime example of the aforementioned mediocrity.

  • Sure, he's one of the only villains to still retain his anonymity.

  • But besides that, he is hella lame.

  • Let me break it down for you.

  • Once upon a time, a painter slash part time petty criminal was blinded by a double crossing henchman.

  • In an attempt to restore his sight, the painter enlisted in a risky medical procedure that went wrong.

  • Now he could only see color done done, which is really so stupid.

  • When you stop and think about it seriously, try and name something you can currently see.

  • That isn't a color.

  • Exactly, you can't.

  • But seriously, though, the painter saw in such vivid color that it drove him mad and he became the crazy quilt.

  • That's right.

  • The old CQ doesn't have any riel superpowers to speak of.

  • He just has LSD vision, which makes sense because you pretty much need LSD to think his costume looks cool last but certainly not least in fact, quite possibly.

  • Most is the condiment king.

  • Yes, see condiment.

  • King is a guy with ketchup and mustard guns, most likely best known for his don't puns.

  • I knew you'd catch up to the sooner I've relished this meeting.

  • Quiet.

  • He's hardly a villain.

  • He's a stand up comedian being mind controlled by the Joker and back, he was made to poke fun at the old Adam West Batman.

  • Nonetheless, he was so lovably stupid that they decided to keep him on and turn him into a real villain economy.

  • King actually almost killed Robin once.

  • I mean, sure, it's because Robin had a food allergy and went into an eclectic shock when he was sprayed down with all those condiments which put him in quite a pickle.

  • You get a typical and condiments and no All right, well, guys and gals, that's it.

  • Now, of course, these aren't all the bad villains by any means.

  • But there's some of our favorites.

  • Feel free to let me know your favorite shitty villains in the comments.

Thank yeah.

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B2 king villain batman painter kite quilt

Batman's Horrible Villains | The Desk of DEATH BATTLE

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/02
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