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  • (WIZ) Evil. It has many faces.

  • And sometimes, even a good-natured soul may become its unknowing pawn.

  • (BOOMSTICK) Oh, did you say something?

  • I couldn't hear you over GIANT FIGHTING ROBOTS!

  • Seriously, what's cooler than giant robots? Absolutely nothing!

  • (WIZ) The White Tigerzord, the sixth Thunderzord...

  • (BOOMSTICK) ...and Epyon, the sixth Gundam! He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!

  • (WIZ) And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win...a DEATH BATTLE.

  • (WIZ) Behold the Thunderzords, mighty bestial vehicles with "a power and a force like you've never seen before".

  • (BOOMSTICK) Unless you live in Japan, then that $#*!'s everywhere.

  • (WIZ) The Thunderzords are piloted by the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers,

  • five overbearing and over-emotional humans.

  • (BOOMSTICK) Teenagers...

  • (WIZ) For over a year, these five heroes defended the Earth from the evil Rita Repulsa and her cronies.

  • (BOOMSTICK) But when her boss, Lord Zedd, showed up and started beating some serious Ranger @*$,

  • the team knew they needed some help.

  • (WIZ) Thus, a giant floating head in a tube and his robot buddy set to work building a new Ranger with a new 'Zord.

  • (ZORDON) I present to you...the White Ranger.

  • (TOMMY) Tigerzord!

  • (BOOMSTICK) The White Tigerzord is a gigantic, weaponized robo-kitty.

  • While cats are clearly inferior to dogs, I might make an exception for this one and take it home.

  • (WIZ) Well, considering after it transforms to Warrior Mode, the Tigerzord weighs 150 tons and stands nearly 15 floors tall,

  • I don't think you'll find one in a pet shop window.

  • (BOOMSTICK) AND it's a Transformer? Awesome!

  • ♪ 'Cause I am the one you should fear the most... ♪

  • (WIZ) The White Tigerzord is powered by the "White Light of Goodness"

  • ...as is its pilot, the heroic leader of the team: Tommy Oliver, the White Ranger.

  • And as long as I exist, there's hope for the world... ♫

  • (BOOMSTICK) He wasn't always in charge, though.

  • His original powers came from the screeching, migraine-ridden she-witch, Rita.

  • Naturally, it was a trick and those powers came packaged with a curse that turned him evil.

  • (WIZ) Luckily, Rita doesn't logic much, so the Rangers reversed the spell by destroying a completely unrelated object.

  • (BOOMSTICK) Tommy wields Saba, a talking sabre that shoots lasers and remote-controls the Tigerzord.

  • (TOMMY) Hey! I thought you knew what you were doing!

  • (SABA) I do.

  • (TOMMY) Yeah? You sure could have fooled me!

  • (WIZ) And is also...uniquely multilingual.

  • (SABA) That's right, none of you speaks bird. Now take me over to the cages.

  • Um, squawk squawk, tweet, squawk, tweet?

  • (BOOMSTICK) Everyone that just watched that is now dumber. Our bad.

  • (WIZ) In battle, the Tigerzord's tail doubles as a Golden Tiger Sword.

  • (BOOMSTICK) ...Which can light itself on fire, I assume, by sparking a robo-fart of some sort.

  • See, Wiz? I can science, too!

  • Anyway, the Tigerzord knocks foes off their feet with sonic blasts, temporarily increases agility with hyper-speed,

  • and shoots fireballs from its chest/mouth thing.

  • (TOMMY) White Tiger Thunderball, armed and ready!

  • (WIZ) The Tigerzord's greatest asset, however, is its ability to mimic the movements of its pilot.

  • So it's important to determine how superhuman the White Ranger is, but he doesn't have many measureable feats.

  • Fortunately, all Ranger powers are derived from the same Morphing Grid, a galaxy-spanning energy field which balances all life.

  • (BOOMSTICK) So... the Force?

  • (WIZ) Yeah, pretty much. This means, all Rangers have comparable powers that we can use to measure Tommy's potential.

  • (BOOMSTICK) S.P.D. Green Ranger Bridge Carson once lifted and threw a two-ton car at this poor girl, who he guessed was a demon.

  • Luckily, he was right, and a PR catastrophe was avoided.

  • (WIZ) The average man can squat lift about 125 lb., so this feat makes Power Rangers at least 32 times stronger.

  • (SABA) Oh, that was most impressive.

  • (WIZ) And we know Rangers also receive a speed boost, so it's reasonable to believe

  • that a morphed Ranger's reaction speed is in the ballpark of 32 times faster than the average person.

  • Thus, the White Ranger can actually react to attacks in about 6 milliseconds.

  • To compare, in the same given time, a bullet fired from a gun will have only traveled about nine feet.

  • As the Tigerzord mimicks the White Ranger in real time, it must be capable of the same speeds.

  • (BOOMSTICK) I bet he can totally do that knife-finger-stabby game. Actually, uh, Wiz, put your hand on the table.

  • (WIZ) NO! Not after last time! That poor intern...

  • (BOOMSTICK) I told him not to move!

  • (WIZ) Anyway, like that intern, the Tigerzord can't always cut it on its own.

  • (BOOMSTICK) When that happens, Tommy's friends usually come in to save his @*$.

  • But even though they won't be able to help him today, Tommy can still call upon his secret weapon.

  • (WIZ) Each Power Ranger has his or her individual Zord, which only they can pilot.

  • However, there HAVE been numerous instances when a Ranger has called upon other Zords.

  • So, Tommy can call upon the Lion, Griffin, Unicorn, and Phoenix Thunderzords to create the Mega Tigerzord.

  • GO GO POWER RANGERS

  • YOU MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS

  • (BOOMSTICK) The Mega Tigerzord is a massive monster of a mech; it's got an energy shield, an energy ball attack, and a wicked drop kick.

  • Oh, and its finishing move is literally lighting a giant robo-bird on fire, and shooting it through everyone in its path.

  • Obviously, the Mega Tigerzord has never lost a match.

  • (WIZ) The Mega Tigerzord is so powerful, it's even had that finisher move reflected back at it, survived, and all it did was fall over and look surprised.

  • (BOOMSTICK) But it's not all firebirds and rainbows. Enough damage can overload the Tigerzord's connection to the Morphing Grid and annihilate it.

  • But don't get me wrong: This is one butt-kicking, Mighty Morphin', firebirding, flame-swording power kitty. Meow.

  • (TOMMY) Saba, are you ready, pal?

  • (SABA) White Ranger, I'm ready when you are.

  • (TOMMY) All right! Tigerzord, power up!

  • (WIZ) In the year 195 A.C.--yes, A.C.--Earth and its space colonies were on the brink of Civil War.

  • Chaos had erupted. Governments shattered from within.

  • The only constant were five freedom-fighting mobile suits called GUNDAMs.

  • (BOOMSTICK) Piloted by a bunch of kids who have no idea how to have fun. Seriously, get laid or something!

  • (WIZ) Intrigued, the disgraced commander Trieze Kushrenada set about creating his own GUNDAM.

  • (BOOMSTICK) For sex?

  • (WIZ) No, for Zechs.

  • (BOOMSTICK) This is getting really confusing...

  • (WIZ) Try and keep up.

  • Trieze hoped this new, NON-SEXUAL fighting machine would finally answer the meaning of life and death.

  • (BOOMSTICK) AND birth!

  • (WIZ) NO!!!

  • (TRIEZE) I have a guide here that will show you how to live from now on.

  • (WIZ) And so, the Gundam Epyon was born.

  • (HEERO YUI) Do you think you've built a god or something?

  • (TRIEZE) Maybe I do.

  • (BOOMSTICK) Epyon is a fierce force of metal and badassery. Like all GUNDAMs, it's armored with... Gundanium.

  • (WIZ) Yet another stupidly-named fictional metal that happens to be many times stronger and lighter than Titanium.

  • (BOOMSTICK) Standing 57 feet tall and weighing just under 10 tons, Epyon is actually quite a bit smaller than your average Japanese giant robot.

  • (WIZ) But for what it lacks in size, Epyon compensates with incredible speed.

  • With a max propulsion of nearly 200,000 lbs., Epyon can fly over 250 miles per hour.

  • (BOOMSTICK) But manning a GUNDAM at that speed is rough, and can kill a pilot who hasn't been trained.

  • (WIZ) Epyon's pilot is the legendary warrior and Trieze's closest friend, Zechs Marquise, the Lightning Count.

  • Commander of the OZ Special Forces, valedictorian of a prestigious military academy, and sole pilot of the unstable GUNDAM Prototype.

  • (BOOMSTICK) How does the Wizard of Oz come into this now? Anime seriously confuses me.

  • Well, regardless, Zechs is a true warrior.

  • (ZECHS) I am a true soldier.

  • (BOOMSTICK) Oh, look, an echo!

  • (WIZ) Despite this, he could not handle the politics of war. After Trieze staged a coup which spiraled out of control,

  • Zechs stumbled through the ensuing chaos like a lost pup, always ending up fighting for the wrong cause by complete accident. Whoops...

  • (ZECHS) I don't understand! Why am I still so...spineless?!

  • (BOOMSTICK) Oh, I have an awesome giant GUNDAM that everyone needs to do awesome stuff! Poor me...

  • (WIZ) But...PLOT TWIST! Zechs has been hiding a secret identity.

  • He is, in fact, Milliardo Peacecraft, the long-lost heir to the throne of the pacifist Sanc Kingdom. Yes, the Peacecrafts literally craft peace.

  • (BOOMSTICK) At first, the only one who knew Zechs' true identity was his slap-happy admirer, Noin.

  • You'd think a cheerful girlfriend who doesn't have blood on her hands would help Zechs lighten up a bit, but...

  • (ZECHS) Don't go getting too attached, or parting will hurt.

  • (NOIN) But my soldiers aren't ever going to be killed in battle.

  • (BOOMSTICK) Damn, he won't be hitting that for awhile...

  • (WIZ) Despite being a backstabbing, coup-staging terrorist, Trieze Kushrenada apparently has some high sense of honor.

  • And this is reflected in Epyon's arsenal.

  • (BOOMSTICK) Aside from two tiny vulcan guns, Epyon was designed as a dueling suit and lacks effective long-range weaponry.

  • But that's OK, 'cause check out this sword!

  • The beam sword is connected directly to Epyon's power source, which means its size and power can be increased on the fly.

  • Epyon also has a durable shield which houses a chain whip, called the Heat Rod, that can be super-heated to slice through armor.

  • (WIZ) But its greatest and most risky weapon is its on-board computer, the "Epyon System," a modified Zoning and Emotional Range Omitted System.

  • This directly links with the pilot's brain and aids him by constantly predicting outcomes and strategies in mid-battle.

  • And unlike other ZERO Systems, this modified version shows Zechs his opponent's face as he is murdering them.

  • (BOOMSTICK) Oh, that's right--for the nightmares.

  • (WIZ) It gets worse. The Epyon System relies on Zechs ignoring all distractions, including his own drive to win.

  • It predicts every possible outcome of the battle at hand and shares them with him.

  • These include the outcomes where he loses, which take the forms of hallucinations. If Zechs can't separate fact from fiction, these hallucinations may become reality.

  • (BOOMSTICK) But despite the danger, it's totally worth getting into Epyon's pilot seat, because this giant robot is a born winner.

  • It's capable of holding off four other GUNDAMs at once, survived the heart of an exploding space station,

  • and destroyed ANOTHER giant space station with a single, awesome sword slice. Ha ha! GUNDAM power, AWAY!!!

  • (WIZ) Of course, Epyon does have its fair share of weaknesses, and, even though Zechs eventually overcame his turn to the dark side,

  • nearly sacrificing his life for the greater good in the process, he never did quite become that perfect soldier he always wanted to be.

  • (BOOMSTICK) But, good news: He did eventually get in Noin's pants. Worth it!

  • (ZECHS) Just watch me--I'm going to live right to the bitter end! I'll live the hard life of a warrior!

  • (WIZ) All right, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all!

  • (BOOMSTICK) It's time for a DEATH BATTLE...robo-style!

  • (TOMMY) All right, Saba! Time for our weekly test run!

  • (SABA) Excellent. Let's test the weapon systems.

  • (TOMMY) Just make sure the safety systems are on.

  • (SABA) Safety systems activated. Um, that will...probably dissipate, right?

  • (ZECHS) *Sigh...*

  • (NOIN) Zechs? What are you doing down there?

  • (ZECHS) Hmph. Hello, Noin. Just brooding over how I nearly destroyed the Earth...

  • (NOIN) That, again?! You've gotta lighten up, you grump!

  • (ZECHS) *Sigh...*

  • (NOIN) Well, how about we do that thing you're always asking about? You know, the one that rhymes with your name?

  • (ZECHS) What? Really?

  • (NOIN) Of course! I think it's finally time--(DEATH SCREAM!)

  • (ZECHS) Noin!? NOOO!!!

  • (SABA) Eventually...

  • (TOMMY) Heh. I think I'll drive.

  • (SABA) WARNING! Bogey approaching fast--200 meters!

  • (TOMMY) Must be one of Zedd's.

  • (SABA) Zero meters!

  • (TOMMY) Huh?!

  • (ZECHS) I'LL BREAK YOUR FACE!!!

  • (TOMMY) Is it just me, or do Zedd's goons keep getting smaller and angrier?

  • (ZECHS) Hyaaaaaah!

  • (TOMMY) Whoa! He's quick for a little guy...

  • (SABA) Stop messing around and start defending!

  • (TOMMY) Right, time for action! White Tiger, Sonic Boom!

  • All right. Saba, I want the Tigerzord to follow my every move!

  • (ZECHS) You may be skilled, but you're too slow for Epyon!

  • (TOMMY) How's this? Hyper-speed!

  • (ZECHS) Aagh!

  • (TOMMY) Time to stamp out some evil!

  • Heh. What, are you playing hard to get? All right then, go long! White Tiger Thunderball...FIRE!!!

  • (ZECHS) The Epyon System indicates that you've shown your full arsenal.

  • (TOMMY) Haah...FIRE!!!

  • Ugh...

  • (ZECHS) You're finished!

  • Ah? W--What?

  • What's that?!

  • (DEATH SCREAM!)

  • (SABA) Quick, Tommy! The circle on his chest--it must be a weak spot!

  • (TOMMY) Right!

  • White Ranger Tiger Power...White Ranger-- ♫

  • (ZECHS) Hmph. Don't get cocky.

  • (TOMMY) What? He didn't explode?!

  • (SABA) Well, this defies all logic...

  • (TOMMY) Wh-whoa... We're grounded...

  • (SABA) Tommy, call the Zords!

  • (TOMMY) You've got it! I need Thunderzord Power NOW!!!

  • (ZECHS) Oh, $#*!...

  • (ZECHS) No, not like this!

  • (ZECHS) Here it comes...

  • ♪ I feel your love reflection... ♪

  • (ZECHS) Routing all power to thrusters...

  • ...and now, to the beam saber!

  • For...NOOOOOIN!!!

  • (TOMMY) Ah! No!

  • (SABA) SON OF A BIIIIIIIIII--!!

  • (TOMMY) GYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

  • (ZORDON and ZECHS crying)

  • (BOOMSTICK) Ohh...my childhood...

  • (WIZ) This was a surprisingly close call.

  • At first glance, the Tigerzord towers over Epyon and is fast enough to keep up with it.

  • Yet Epyon destroyed Barge, a 26,000-foot-long space fortress with one sword swing. Just one.

  • There's no doubt that a few swings like that were enough to overload Tigerzord's connection to the Morphing Grid.

  • (BOOMSTICK) I mean, this goofy-looking skeleton dude did it, so I'd imagine a giant laser sword wielded by a devil robot can do it too.

  • (WIZ) Also, Zechs is a far more experienced and properly-trained warrior, unlike Tommy, who was drafted in the middle of high school.

  • But the Tigerzord wasn't helpless; its Mega-form even duped the Epyon System for a moment.

  • But, unfortunately for our favorite White Ranger, Epyon is an ever-evolving dueling machine.

  • (BOOMSTICK) Stupid future-predicting robot...and its really frickin' sweet sword! Gun-dammit...

  • (WIZ) The winner is the Gundam Epyon!

  • (BOOMSTICK) Next time on DEATH BATTLE...

  • Don't go anywhere, 'cause this is important.

  • You want more @*$-kicking? Our animators really like making guys fight each other, so they've created their own show: 1-Minute Melee!

  • (WIZ) But unlike us, they don't do all this time-consuming, soul-crushing research. They just do it because it's fun.

  • (BOOMSTICK) And who doesn't want to watch cool characters kicking @*$ just for the sake of kicking @*$?

  • Click the annotation and check out the first episode and support our animators.

  • (WIZ) And keep an eye for more 1-Minute Melee every other Monday and a DEATH BATTLE update every single Friday.

  • The results of 1-Minute Melee are not associated with DEATH BATTLE. Wiz and Boomstick are not responsible for the outcome of the fight.

  • So, please don't send them any b!*chy complaints via E-mail, text, Facebook, or any other form of communication whatsoever on this planet. Enjoy the show.

  • And just scroll down to see how you can win the last remains of the White Ranger: his T-shirt, signed by Boomstick and yours truly. Thank you for watching!

(WIZ) Evil. It has many faces.

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B2 tommy saba ranger gundam pilot power

Tigerzord VS Gundam Epyon | DEATH BATTLE!

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/02
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