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  • PewDiePie: Ahhhh!

  • Okay, so I've been sick for a couple days.

  • I'm still sick.

  • Let's see what has happened while I was gone.

  • [reads on-screen] "U need to see jake paul's music video, he dissed u"

  • [Continues to read tweets aloud] Jake Paul dissed you~!

  • "Holy sh!t Jake Paul roasting Pewdiepie"

  • "Thats soooo lit (emojis)"

  • [PewDiePie Screams]

  • "U better watch out, team 10 is coming for you~ (emoji)"

  • PewDiePie: NOO!

  • [shaky breathing]

  • Not JP, not JP.

  • How bad is it?

  • HOW?

  • What did he say?

  • WHAT DID HE SAY IN HIS VIDEO?

  • JP: "5 Mil on YouTube in six months

  • Never done before

  • Passed all the competition, man, PewDiePie is next!"

  • PewDiePie: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

  • [lightly hits wall]

  • AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  • AGHHHH, this makes me so angry!

  • I'm still sick, calm down Felix, ah that son of a bich. (Christia

  • I bet he's the one that poisoned me.

  • Oh, I bet it was JP all along.

  • That sleek son of a bich!

  • [grunts]

  • We haven't watched this whole thing yet!

  • We have to see the whole thing.

  • First of all who the f*ck is JP?

  • Who the f*ck Is Jake Paul?

  • I don't know.

  • I ha- he has fun, okay.

  • He eats food.

  • He's Dirk from Disney Channel!

  • Okay so he's a Disney Channel...

  • One of these Disney Channel actors, that's cool.

  • Can't be that bad.

  • Let's listen.

  • JP: Ya.

  • PewDiePie: Always appreciate a good "ya" at the beginning of a song, uh, for no reason.

  • [chuckles]

  • I'm going to- going to try not to pause every- every millisecond of this song, but...

  • JP: Ya.

  • PewDiePie: That is a good "ya." We have to appreciate that-

  • [stuttering] that's- that's a good-- that's a good "ya."

  • [music plays again]

  • [indistinguishable audio watermark]

  • PewDiePie: Is it the watermark? They didn't buy that loop?

  • PewDiePie: Like, you play some rap music right, that's free...

  • [different track]

  • [audio watermark]: "AudioJungle"

  • See? AudioJungle.

  • What the f*ck is it?

  • [indistinguishable audio watermark]

  • [Laughing]

  • [AUDIOJUNGLE]

  • PewDiePie: I'm glad, I'm glad we got the whole Disney Channel thing out of the way from the first fucking line.

  • [Laughing]

  • "Hey guys, in case you don't know,

  • "I'm on Disney Channel.

  • "How can I say that in a way that make sense--

  • "Uh, everyday bro, Disney Channel

  • FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!"

  • PewDiePie: He's saying... that I'm not his competition because he said he

  • passed all his competition which basically puts me-

  • Where does that put me, actually?

  • PewDiePie: I'm really confused. J-- JP, you're gonna have to

  • [Stuttering] re- re- re- re-it- iter- re-eter- itter -itur- ate?

  • REITERATE

  • it- [shakes hands aroound]

  • F*ck, I got the shakes again.

  • Goddamnit!

  • J.P. You son of a b*tch!

  • How DARE YOU?!

  • How DARE you use my name in the video!

  • HOW DARE YOU?!?

  • PewDiePie: That- it may sound here like that

  • his flow is all off, hey, it may s-

  • it may sound completely terrible. But really here, what

  • JP is doing is a new form of rapping, it's meant to sound like shit.

  • PewDiePie: [tries to wrap like JP]

  • "Yeah I'm talking about you, you begging

  • for attention, is this how you rap, you just say a bunch of words, and this

  • sounds totally wack, and, uh-- I swear I'm not on crack and I-- I just like to smack that

  • booty back, yeah and I'm talking about you."

  • PewDiePie: It's absolutely incredible,

  • this sort of rapping takes incredible skills; it takes intellect, it takes

  • talent, it takes years of grinding, years of training, years of preparation, it

  • takes talking sh!t on Twitter, it takes all kinds of sh- it takes so much shit-

  • [Pause]

  • and- and- and- Jake Paul will know because he eats food.

  • PewDiePie: I don't understand what the f*ck is happening here, is he talking about his ex or some

  • sh*t like that? Please- please let that- okay, I mean, it's-

  • it's genius! That's what it is, it's really-- did he make this just for this, is this

  • why I'm reacting to this? Because he argues with his girlfriend?

  • [Chuckles]

  • PewDiePie: Damn, damn, he goes-- J-- if JP breaks up

  • with you, he goes hard- "And all the recordings too!" It is-- that is lyrical--

  • mind blast. There's meaning behind every syllable, every line...

  • (Short pause)

  • ...Every facial expression tells an incredible story!

  • PewDiePie: [Chuckle] "Oh, and by the way I just

  • dropped some new merch!!!"

  • [Sad pause]

  • Oh, he b*tches about his girlfriend for like-- for a couple

  • lines and then, "Oh, by the way, got new merch, it's selling like a 'god Church.'"

  • PewDiePie: What is a god Church?

  • Uhhhhh, it's the church with the God in it, what do you think?

  • Oh, what are you stupid? A "god Church," you never heard one of those?

  • It's selling like a "god Church."

  • I love how they clearly got stuck here.

  • "Hey, hey, okay, alright we got-- I dropped some new merch,

  • how it's selling like a-- what rhymes with merch?

  • Uhhhh, church, it's selling like a CHURCH!!"

  • PewDiePie: Legit like I wish that illness killed me now, I- I'm not

  • joking at all, I want to die, I want to I want to be dead now, I don't want to--

  • I don't want to, no, no-- I don't want it anymore.

  • PewDiePie: Did he get a tattoo of a d*ck on his leg?

  • PewDiePie: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

  • WHAT IS THAT?!

  • *small pause*

  • WHAT IS--?!

  • W H A T I S T H A T ? !

  • ???? ?? ???? ??????!!

  • PewDiePie: ..He's absolutely perfect

  • I've never seen a more beautiful man in my entire life.~

  • ENGLAND IS MY CITY! (???)

  • [About to enter a fit of laugher]

  • PewDiePie: Nooooo.....oooo

  • England...

  • ENGLAND

  • [Moan]

  • Ohhhhh! England is your city...

  • O H N O

  • Oh no- oh-- you're retarded.

  • [groan] Ughhhhhhh!

  • Err-- my cit- ci- city is the whole planet--

  • england is my city

  • PewDiePie: I like how he, uh, he's so fat that he straight-up

  • destroyed this jacket. Like, look how it's hanging by literally its last thread.

  • PewDiePie: Okay, she's gonna educate us.

  • PewDiePie: Well, anyone that talks like that-

  • I don't want

  • Them to educate me

  • [Laughs]

  • PewDiePie: "Let me educate ya

  • and we ain't talking

  • ????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • What I love most of all about JP is that-- is besides

  • all his success, he remains humble.

  • Jake Paul: Yes they all copy me, but that's some shitty clones

  • PewDiePie: *burps* I think this song has killed me. (me too.)

  • I wanna die more than I've ever died before. Someone

  • please-

  • DON'T call an ambulance

  • Let me just-

  • -Never return. This is it guys,

  • I'm- I- it's been great, it's been great.

  • Let's see what some other people thought about JP's wonderful song--

  • [Random British boy #1] I like how the lyrics are on screen, man.

  • PewDiePie: oh, ah-oh tha-that's always a plus in a rap song.

  • [Random British boy #2] The lyrics just match like....

  • PewDiePie: The what?

  • [#2] The lyrics just match like... [Then his brain stopped]

  • PewDiePie: The lyrics just match WHAT? You can't just say that

  • and then say nothing, please say something else!

  • "You are retard"

  • PewDiePie: I think we all can draw some inspiration from that.

  • Now excuse me while I'm going to kill myself-- ah [YA]

  • [crappy 'Why Can't We Be Friends' instrumental]

  • [Keemstar sighs]

PewDiePie: Ahhhh!

Subtitles and vocabulary

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A2 PewDiePie disney channel jake paul jake church paul

JAKE PAUL

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/07/01
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