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Listen up, you virgins.
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I bet you never had a real girlfriend.
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pfft..
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Pathetic, you losers.
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It's all about that Kanojo
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VR everybody
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I've been wanting to play this game for a loooooong time.
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Oh, yeah
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This videos been brought to you by
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Don't tell Marzia productions.
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Alright, here we go.
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Time to meet my new wife (some japanese in the background)
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You're late!
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Come here, give me tea
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You're welcome.
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Wait, I'm supposed to sit there?
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Well, what if I can get my chair and sit in VR?
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This would be the perfect immersion
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that I've always wanted
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Oh, my god. Oh! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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[VR birds in the bg]
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Sorry, what?
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Okay, she's gonna go.
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She's gonna go up.
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Don't worry, guys.
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I got a perfect way to solve this problem *shows what his 399 chair can do*
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Just a little closer--
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DAMMIT!
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HEYYYYYY
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*family friendly*
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Bring me, bring me back up.
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Bring me back up, okay?
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heheh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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*naughty giggles from senpai*
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*a bit naughtier than expected*
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*naughty-turns-evil giggle*
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*giggles censored from this point onwards*
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*regurgitating noise*
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OHHH
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AWRRRRGH
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(in japanese) chotto matte da-
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-- Chotto matte kudasaiiiiiii
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Tickle, tickle
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Ah, my cable, it's...
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GAWD DAMMIT
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You, doofus.
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You're good for nothing, useless whamen
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[not serious @ WSJ]
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Disappointed.
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Yeah, you broke it.
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You broke the book.
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Because you're a moron, that's why.
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Japan's capital is Kyoto???
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Are you actually reta--
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[family-friendly Felix]
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I see you looking at me with fear in your eyes. (nervous looks from the kanojo)
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I'm asking you,
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Is there something wrong with you?
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Is there something actually wrong with you?
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Hey, baby ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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*girl moans sensually with some japanese telling to pls staph*
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We've been working hard, you know.
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*girl giggles delightfully*
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The Double Squeeze!!!
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"itai yo..."
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This is my chance to escape!
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Finally, I can get out of here! (did he escaped hmmM)
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Yes, I made it. I survived!
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(no u didn't)
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Damn it
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Wait, really?
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Really?
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Oh, she's sleeping.
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*girl moans softly*
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All right, perfect immersion, guys.
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Finally I can sleep with a whamen.
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Let me just..
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*trying to immerse himself*
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*sounds of pewds laying down on the floor*
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*where is 399 when you need it??*
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Ah, yes, the - *ended up laying under the bed xD* *hilarious laughter*
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Yes, this is where I -
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*wholesome laugh*
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This is just- *more laughter*
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*never saw pewds this happy*
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*You go, senpai*
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This is just like I sleep with Marzia
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*cutest skratta*
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*highly sensual sounds from the girl*
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*moans and groans*
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*bliss*
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YAAAARRRGGGHAAAH
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*girl purrs in happiness*
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*in voice only poods can do* Tickle, tickle!
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*girl purrs more*
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What is THIS? (hmmmmMMm)
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*shakes object*
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This is like, you get the
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you get the ju- like how does it?
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Oh, I see!
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(it is indeed for ankles)
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*some spy in action sound
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I found the target
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*kanojo is heard talking to herself
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This is PewDiePie to headquarter.
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I found the T H O T
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*climbs the dangerous tree branch without hesitating*
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*peeks*
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She seems to be completely delusional and lost.
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She must be a streamer
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*poods clicking buttons sounds
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I'm going in. Huh!
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*jumps without fear of dying or falling to that deep abyss
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beh
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bah
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bah
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*gets through the window easily with the help of his spy skills*
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AAAA
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*lands perfectly on the bed. No sweat, no blood, no struggles*
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What is she doing?!
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*in voice only poods can do* Stop it!
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Stop that right now!!
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*poods trynna punch the whamen*
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*girl gasps after sit-up*
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Good job, now sleep. *poods trynna suffocate whamen*
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Go to sleep, go to sleep.
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Oh, I'm not- I'm not looking
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I'm not LOOKING
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Fine.
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I'll look away.
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*whamen struggling, nice guy pewdiepie stares*
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Oh my god, you're completely useless.
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*whamen touches her own bobs*
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There you go.
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*laughs*
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*slams electric fan onto the whamen* *punch SFX*
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*laughs*
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Here's your kiss.
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*Nice guy pewdiepie slams electric fan again onto whamen again*
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Kanojo: whats wrong?
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What? nothing, nothing, nothing's wrong
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*girl moans again*
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*whamen runs into her bed with a "transferring a corpse to the coffin" position*
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Ha, Doki Doki!
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Aww, she loves me.
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I'm such a great person.
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Die. You should die.
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*whamen wanna hug mr. chair*
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Who she-
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Who are you talking to you?
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What do you want from me?
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*succing sounds*
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*ultimate hot kanojo emerges
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Oh. My. God.
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Oh, my god.
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*yeugh* (another way to say eew)
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Oh, my god. (poods is disgusted xD)
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I'm scared.
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I'm scared, I'm actually scared.
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Open the bottom drawer dressing
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Okay, what do I do with this?
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*eats Pocky with kanojo*
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There you go.
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*kanojo not satisfied*
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Are you satisfied?
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*kanojo panics*
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*nice guy pewdiepie stares at kanojo that is currently being threatened by the bug
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Don't worry.
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Don't worry, I'll squish it.
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I'll squish it, don't w--
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QUIET, I'm squishing it
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PAH *misses the bug*
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PAH *misses again*
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PAH
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*iloveass999999 eliminated the bug. rip bug*
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*iloveass999999 eliminated kanojo. victory royale
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*poods massages her a-, uh back i mean*
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*a horrifying screech of pleasure*
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*same screech again*
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Go on!
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GO! *heheheha*
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*laughs*
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*camera shutter sound*
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*shutter sound remix*
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I can make you feel pain.
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I can make you feel suffering.
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I can make you feel...
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...like you wish you were never born.
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Okay, look at me
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Look at me!
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kanojo: "bikkuri shita"
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Cool I'm really glad I started playing more video games.
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This is definitely what I was looking for.
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*nice guy pewdiepie suffocates kanojo with a pillow*
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Don't resist!
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*poods aiming his pencil, ready to attack any time*
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*pencil falls to kanojo's face with a 'boing'*
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*skrattar*
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One more ? ?
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One more ? ?
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Come on, you can do it.
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*zooms in to maid kanojo's bobs* *demonetized*
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*404 error*
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Wow, you're so tense.
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*nice guy pewdiepie slaps her hair*
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She crying?
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*deviant android pewdiepie stabs kanojo 28 times*
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Ha! Haha-hahah
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Aaah, you dummy dumb!
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OH MY GOD
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*poods slammin them bobs*
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That looks so bad
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You can't hold back your feelings?
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Okay, here I come.
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Just kidding.
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*pewds dabs perfectly like a real man*
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*audience keeps cheering*
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*cheering continues*
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*felix frozen in dab position*
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*kanojo in the 'transferring a corpse to the coffin position' again*
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*romantic music plays*
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*drone buzzing as girl appraches to kiss*
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Okay, that was kanojo VR. What a great game!
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Really good game.
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*senpai speechless*
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Leave a like if you
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*girl moans as felix licks his lips*
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Alright, let's give her a final kiss.
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There it comes.
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Are you ready?
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Here we come.
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BAAAA Begone t h o t
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*audience laugh track plays*
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NO!
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*applause and cheers*
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RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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*A S S outro plays to hit the ten minute mark and get an extra ad because this game is extremely dangerous and can possibly demonetize the video*
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*the finale*
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*have a great day*
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*hurray chicken won*
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10:05