Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles Hey, how's it going, bras Ma name is POOODIPAAHH i moved office again as you can see... ...for another time. I'm in this new space, it's pretty cool. It's my own space. It's definitely my... *laughs* pahla-a-a Y O U P I C K E D T H E W R O N G H O U S E F O O O O O O O O O O O O Jack: This is mine. My padded cell Felix: I knew you were insane Felix: I knew you were one of those people with that- Felix: *claps* We're going to do Five Weird Stuff Online Felix: With Jackspedicey. (music plays) Felix: Item Number One. Jack: What are you going to start with? Felix: I don't know. Both: *lame laugh* Felix: Let's go with the biggest. I have this bag of a bunch of shit I bought online. Jack: Oh my God, Santa-sama Felix: Okay, let's start with something lame, but I kind of want to try it out. Jack: What's it called? AIRZOOKA? Felix: Yeaaah! Jack: It's like twice the size of that kid. Felix: I feel like the scale is not... Jack: Perspective? Felix: Look at that Jack: *laughs* Felix: Heh Felix: So this is an bazooka Felix: Seems like too much effort to put together. Jack: No, it looks cool! Jack: The fuck is all this? Jack: Looks like something fucking Megaman uses Felix: It does yeah, actually Felix: Maybe I should read the instructions Jack: *laughs* Felix: Are you ready to get airzooked? (screaming) Felix: What are you doing? Jack: I'm- I'm zooking ;) Jack: ..Bazinga. Felix: BAZINGA Felix: Are you ready to get airzookad, bruuh? Jack: No- Jack: You have to pull like this Felix: I knew that Jack: *giggles* Felix: Oh shit, okay, I get it Felix: How close? Jack: I don't know. Both: *laugh* Felix: You scared now, boy? Felix: You were making fun of it before! Felix: I can see your stupid face through here as well. F L O O P Jack: Oh my God! *laughs* Felix: Was it bad? Jack: Just POW!!! Felix: *breaks airzooka* OH, SHIT! Both: AIRZOOKA?! *rip* Felix: NOOO! Jack: Okay Felix: Hit me, bro Felix: I'm ready *mad pewds* Jack: Ya ready, boi? Jack: *imitates Felix* You blink, y o u l o s e. (airzookafail.mp3) Both: *giggle* Jack: This thing fucking sucks ;) *Jack blows air towards Felix* Felix: A A A A H H H H Jack: AIRZOOKA! Felix: Thank God there was cover here Felix: Did you break it for real? Jack: No the- ohh yeah. *rip jack again* Both: *laugh* Jack: That works really well. Felix: Do it.. Both: *Laugh* Felix: Jesus- Jack: It's the sound as well Felix: Yeah, it kinda scares you Felix: 3... 2... 1... *le fabulous jump boi* Jack: Aaww Felix: Yeeeaah!! Jack: Don't look at me Felix: How do I look like? *ur a bat pewds* Jack: Uhh, so fucking weird. Felix: *im scared* Jack: Come close to the camera Felix: *hisses* Felix: I can't see anything Jack: Okay too close, too close, you're good. Jack: Oh my God Felix: I can't even see myself in- Felix: OH MY GOOOOOOD! Felix: Your outfit Jack: Really nice Felix: Very nice Jack: Very nice, very flowy. Felix: Very nice! *handok.mp3* Felix: I like it, jak sie masz. Felix: When you put it on was remembering, when I was 5 at kindergarten Felix: I played Peter Pan Jack: Ooh Felix: Yeah, and I had the exactly that outfit Felix: But it was borrowed Felix: so I was like, well it's not mine so should I.. remove my underwear? Jack: WHAT? Felix: I don't know I was like, that's kinda gross. Jack: It's more gross when you have no underwear! Felix: I was a kid okay?! Felix: So I went naked out on stage with it. Jack: Wait, like this? Felix: Yes! Jack: Oooh, bold move. Felix: Hell yeah! Felix: Alright. Let's see what we have here. Jack: Think I saw something in there, I'm excited. Felix: What did you see? Jack: I'm not telling. Jack: I'm not telling, Felix. I want board game! Felix: Boi game? Jack: Board game... But yeah, sure. You have fluff on your beard. Felix: Shut up! Jack: *mumbles* Wish I had wings... Jack: What? Felix: Don't you worry, Jackspedicey 5! Felix: I got the Robo Twist! Jack: OH MY GOOOOOOD! Felix: It can twist anything! Felix: It probably needs batteries, I just realised. Jack: I'm excited for this one. Jack: If only there was like a drone that like flew down on to it, then you could twist Felix: There would be no effort whatsoever Jack: If only we had another Robo Twist to get the box open! Felix: Alright, you ready? Both: Whoa whoa whoa! Jack: Calm down, Robo Twist! Felix: Stop twisting, Robo Twist! Felix: It's no stop Felix: oogh- Jack: Fucking machines. You can't trust them. Felix: Alright. AAAH! Jack: AAHH! Jack: Carefully. Both: *scream* Felix: How does it work? Jack: I don't know Felix: Yeah! Jack: Oh! Felix: YEAH. Jack: Robo Twist! Felix: ROBO TWISTTT Both: ROBO TWIST Felix: ROBO TWIST Both: ROBO TWIST ROBO TWIST- oh Felix: OHHH Both: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH Jack: I was almost expecting this whole thing to shatter in our hands- *Both laugh* Felix: It's not stopping Jack: It just want to keep on twisting. Felix: It just wants to keep on- *laughs* Jack: It's just gonna crush it.. Felix: AAAAHHHH Jack: NIPPLE TWIST! Jack: That was amazing! Felix: What could possibly beat that item? *Both laugh* Jack: What beats Robo Twist? Felix: I've been wanting to use these, for a long time Felix: Since we have matching outfits and all... Jack: Yess! Felix: ...We get matching, uhh... Both: Otamatones! Jack: That's what I saw in the box and I'm so fucking happy. Jack: Except we might need batteries for these as well Felix: You need batteries for these as well? Jack: Yeah Felix: *whispers* Fuck Jacksepticeye. Felix: I can play myself.. Jack: You cursing me out? Felix: No. Jack: Bitch. Felix: *whispers* He's a bitch. Jack: Stab you Felix: *chuckles* Jesus Christ Felix: So what's more annoying than two loud-ass Youtubers? *Otamatones make high-pitched whining sounds* *Otamatones make high-pitched whining sounds* Jack: It's like I'm looking into an audio mirror. *Otamatone makes a very high-pitched sound* Felix: Oh my God, stop. Jesus Christ. Jack: *laughs* Felix: We have to play something together. Jack: Wait. *Otamatones make sounds* Jack: I don't know Felix: That was jammin' Jack: There was- no, there was a was a Zelda-thing I learned *Otamatone makes a tune* Felix: What the fuck is that? Jack: Duu, du du du dududuuu Felix: Oooh! Both: *laugh* Felix: Do it again *meme music 101 plays* Jack: Aren't you Sweden's number one orchestra player? Felix: That I- that I am, thank you! *Otamatones make high-pitched sounds* Jack: They're so fucking cute though. *Otamatones make sounds* *Otamatones make a very high-pitched sound* *Otamatones high pitched sound intensifies* *Both laugh* Felix: What could possibly be better- oh shit I realised I have fucking wings and shit! Felix: AH! SHI- Both: *laugh* Felix: Jack, do you like reading? Jack: uhm. Jack: no. Felix: Well, I have something for you! Jack: Whoa! The Lazy Readers? Felix: -The Lazy Readers! Jack: What the fuck are the Lazy Readers? *giggles* Jack: Are they mirror glasses? Felix: They are mirror glasses, BOI. Jack: OOH. Felix: They match your outfit *laughs* Jack: Oh my God, that's so weird- I'm like walking and looking at my own feet. *Both laugh* Felix: Hey whaddup, BOI?! Jack: Oh Jesus Christ! Both: *laugh* Felix: I see- *laughs* Jack: Can you see- Felix: Wait, wait, I gotta show you... Can you see your fucking eyes? *Both laugh* Jack: Can you see me, boi? Jack: I don't know if you can see cos of the lights Felix: It's probably- OH I see, I see, yeah! Both: *laugh* Jack: Those are so weird Felix: Whoa, it's like I'm playing a video game. Jack: And- They're so clear as well. Felix: I see my knob as well. That's great. Felix: Oh hell yeah, I get it! Jack: Yeah! *laughs* Felix: I get it! This is awesome! Both: *laugh* Felix: Wait, where are you? Both: *laugh* Jack: Ooh my God Felix: This one I bought... it had bad reviews- Felix: *laughs* Stop doing that, it's so fucking creepy. Felix: Oh shit- WOAH. WOAH. Jack: Woahh- Felix: WOAH. Felix: Hell yeh! Jack: ..You've wings though so it doens't work- Jack: That's really fucking cool! Felix: AAH Felix: Alright, pass it along- Felix: -You ready for the pass-along? Jack: *mutters* ah yeh, fucking- Both: *laugh* Jack: Now we're just holding hands! Felix: You ready for the pass-along? Both: WHOOOOAAAAH! Felix: Back at it again! Jack: With the white vaaaa- Felix: AAAAAAAAH! Felix: The last item... Jack: *mumbles* That's fuckin' cool. Felix: The last item, Jack. Are you ready? Jack: I am. Jack: Love this, totally life-changing bra. Felix: Life-changing bra. Well, we just gonna have to see about that. Jack: This is an actual bra? Felix: Yeah, I didn't know your size.. Felix: I went with an A-cup. Jack: Yeah, that's- that's probably accurate.