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  • Jake Paul faces two and a half million dollar lawsuit. (Look at them shades though)

  • Fortnite YouTuber faces prison. (it's not Ninja)

  • Fortnite University opens up (OwO) and

  • Christine Chandler is doing what? (naughty stuff that won't get you monetized)

  • I'm Gloria Borger (g-l-aw-r-ee-uh BÔR-jir) and this is Poo Noos (Pew News)

  • Poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo (Pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew)

  • [Intro music and pictures from a future Dolan Dark meme, plus other relevent youtubers so 12 year olds actually watch]

  • Good evening,

  • I'm Gloria Borger.

  • You're watching Poo Noos. (Pew News)

  • Our sponsor is

  • (slurp slurp) (#notanad)

  • Soylent.

  • It's the best.

  • Listen now.

  • This is pure soy in this.

  • If you're a man that wants to lactate through your nipples (Every man's dream),

  • I can highly recommend

  • Soylent.

  • This is all I eat and drink at all times (24/7 grind)

  • I'm trying to get an IV attached to my body so that I can just be fed

  • Soylent all the time.

  • Don't take it from me.

  • Take it from one of our many happy customers.

  • I'm specifically told to get paid to hold up the... the Soy to my face and make this face.

  • (You're giving the bros meme templates. Bros fire away!) (BEWARE!) (Relatable Pewds)

  • Check out link in the description.

  • I think you guys can enjoy some soy. (low-key flex)

  • It rhymes.

  • Next news!

  • Poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo (Pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew)

  • ? Next ? Meme

  • (meme review in disguise)

  • YouTuber Fortnite streamer is facing jail time

  • Whyyy? haheh-hahehh..*gasp*

  • What is it with Fortnite that just draws out the crazies? Am I right? The locos.

  • That moment of playing with Drake

  • Made it... it pffff.

  • Everyone is just like: "Oh, okay. I can, I can, like, tweet about this

  • I can, like, tell everyone that hey it is cool [to be] the gamer (epic gamer moment) (plus highlight compilations)

  • I can, I play video games too."

  • Our team here at Pew News have worked hard to

  • uncover the story... Uuuh... (reliable news source indeed)

  • It says: "YouTuber faces prison after feeding homeless man Oreos filled with toothpaste." (madlad)

  • We uncovered this information with our news team by reading this headline

  • Oreo pranks, that's... that's some really great stuff. (family friendly as well)

  • "It's delicious."

  • "Let's go here, fam"

  • "Free taste. Have a bite, please >.

  • "Yes, that's Oreo."

  • *Eats in Filipino*

  • "It tastes like biscuit!"

  • *Laughs in Filipino*

  • "Is it good? owo"

  • "Wow! Colgate?"

  • *Laughs in Peenoise*

  • "What is this? It's freaking Colga--"

  • Apparently he also handed the homeless person a 20 Euro bill (moral compensation, I see)

  • A literal saint. How can you be so giving?

  • Mister Kang Kwa, says

  • Maybe I've gone a bit far, but, look at the positive side, this will help him clean his teeth. (Hmm...)

  • I think he hasn't cleaned them since he became poor. (An educated guess)

  • *drinks soylent like a reach(rich) guy*

  • YouTube is a wonderful platform for all kinds of creators, and I'm just so thankful that I am a YouTuber

  • Especially in moments like these.

  • "ReSet, who is currently on bail awaiting judgment faces a charge of crime against moral integrity...

  • ..Prosecutors are seeking a sentences of two years in prison...

  • ...As well as 30,000 euro [in compensation]." (noice)

  • (?Meme ?Review)

  • Two years.

  • Hey, man, what are you in here for? I love these. Oh man. That seems about right.

  • I think that, that serves him well, he... he can spend those two years thinking about what he did

  • Now, to be fair, I mean, that's a pretty horrible thing to do.

  • I eeehhh... Whether it was a prank or not, can... can we just stop making pranks on YouTube

  • the-- they've never been funny.

  • I never understand the appeal

  • And I'm over here trying to do serious work that gets people take less seriously pew news

  • Because we're on YouTube and not mainstream media. We're real we're literally pulling the same numbers. Sorry guys

  • I'm not supposed to give my own opinion here on pew news, but I'm Gloria Borger

  • And I feel like I have to say that I am NOT taken seriously

  • Not just because I'm a wham and but because I'm on YouTube and because of these scumbags

  • Are ruining YouTube so send them to jail thank you

  • Have you guys heard about this? A.S.S is coming out on every single

  • Console ever. In May!

  • This is going to be the event of the year if you don't play A.S.S, then please get off my ass

  • Next! News!

  • A university is giving scholarships to top Fortnite players!

  • Just when I thought Fort Nite couldn't get any worse.

  • Ashland University in Ohio why is all the worst things coming from that state?

  • admission in the schools undergraduate program with room and board goes for...

  • Thirty one thousand?!?

  • Wait, so the four thousand dollar scholarship offers a nice incentive

  • so instead of paying thirty one thousand you get to pay

  • *(twenty seven thousand)* Wow! What a great deal

  • (now we're interrupting our sequence for important commercials from our sponsors)

  • Wait a minute... I get to be twenty seven thousand dollars in debt..

  • instead of thirty one thousand dollars? Thanks to Fortnite?!

  • Wow. The American school system sure seems great. Is it times like these that I'm glad that I have got

  • Sponsors helping me out because I know these are controversial topics

  • That YouTube's ad revenue program isn't going to... allow

  • so at least I get the revenue from my many many sponsors that I have. I have a lot of sponsors

  • Supporting Pew News we are funded independently (brad gets no money)

  • It's a good time. It's a good time. Thank you very much. We had some pretty serious news so far

  • it would be nice to have something more positive for a change is there any

  • positive news? (no)

  • Next news come from Christine Chandler. Remember we did a video on the Christian Chandler

  • Christian Chandler now goes by the name Christine Chandler and

  • Tweeting out everyone pull yourself together if y'all want to see another house tour video

  • $200 to Christine's PayPal. y'all get house tour inside and outside

  • So basically if you want to see inside

  • Christine's house you can pay $200 and you get a full tour. That's pretty nice

  • That's pretty.. That sounds like a win-win to me. Who wouldn't want to go inside that...

  • ... hellhole.

  • Christine also tweeted anyone living locally to me in Virginia or visiting in Charlottesville

  • I'll give y'all BJ's for money too. Serious.

  • *silence*

  • Poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo poo

  • NEXT NEWS

  • Youtuber Jake Paul sued for 2.5 million dollars, Oh, No (oh yeeees)

  • Whai-- why?.. After being accused of trashing, California rental report says?

  • According to the suit Paul and the other cost extensive damage at the property

  • I don't know if there's been any evidence of that okay

  • It's clearly never been any proof of Jake Paul

  • Trashing property there were such extensive damage throughout the subject property (geddit cus there is)

  • Defendants took it upon themselves to make repairs and install a new floor among other things

  • That sounds about right it can't be easy being appalled

  • the property described as multimillion-dollar single-family home

  • initially fetched a monthly rent of

  • 17,000... gee-eesh man...

  • flexing is expensive

  • so apparently they they upped the security deposit to 40,000 instead of kicking them out

  • And then now that the lawsuit came into place afterwards

  • So I don't know if they had. It sounds like a really bad thing you get sued for 2.5 million dollars

  • But if they in fact didn't just kick them out when they see the videos coming out daily

  • It seems like an opportunistic kind of thing to do. I mean, that's what lawsuits are technically, but then again

  • I don't know if they'll really have them. I'm not a lawyer

  • I'm just Gloria Borger. A news anchor trying to do my best to deliver the news

  • But it seems to me.. that..

  • You won't have that much of a case if you didn't throw them out immediately and then pull a lawsuit

  • rather than just increasing their deposit.. and..

  • Instead of throwing them out immediately. However, I don't know all the facts. I'm just Gloria Borger

  • Last news everybody.

  • YouTube testing new upload flow with select creators to prevent flip-flopping monetization decisions

  • This is so fantastic because I've really been struggling with this too the past couple months

  • And you know all my views are going up, but my ad revenue is going down.

  • And I'm just like why is this happening? Why is my ad revenue is so flip-flopping

  • so now that they're testing new it's new thing

  • I'm so glad that I'm one of the select creators to test this new thing to prevent the flip-flopping

  • I'm not... I'm not one of the select creators..

  • But thank God we have soy to sponsor this video so that I can make a revenue

  • in earnest living anyway while still delivering the news in an unbiased fashion manner

  • (sipping soy like a rich dude he is)

  • I saw this. Basically what they're trying to do is.. Uhh oh let instead of letting the algorithm, say..

  • "Oh your video is flagged for this this this this", it's up to our creators

  • They're testing this new program. Where we can select ourselves. Okay? "Does this video have profanity?" Yes

  • Does this video have blah blah blah

  • Yes, and then that way we can get a fair amount of ads based on ourself

  • And there's a certain level of trust involved in that process obviously

  • I'm not sure how it would look like but it damn sounds a lot better than what is going on

  • I think the whole fact that you have to shape your content so much into th- this package of family friendliness

  • Just to get somewhat decent ads it's just insane and that will just cost more damage to the platform than good and

  • And uhhh.. So I'm glad they're trying out new things.

  • I'm glad. They're they're testing out to see what is working and what isn't but to me?

  • Personally the ad revenue format, right now, despite making 10-minute content, despite having mid rolls is so inefficient

  • That literally I'm making more money selling these goddamn hats

  • 'scuse me guys

  • I'm really appreciative of all, everyone that bought a hat so far or buy the merch

  • the cyka {"blyaaaaat"} (help)

  • If you're real cyka check out link in the description if we- if we sell 10,000 these

  • Literally smeminem where himself will come out and join a news report

  • Um next week you get a cool merch. I get actual revenue for once yay

  • Thank you guys so much for watching another episode of pew news (no please we want more)

  • I am Gloria Borger this has been my time, and I'll see you guys next week. Good night (it's the middle of the day felix)

  • And leave a like

Jake Paul faces two and a half million dollar lawsuit. (Look at them shades though)

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B2 H-INT PewDiePie poo poo poo pew pew pew news

JAKE PAUL $2.5 MIL LAWSUIT, YOUTUBER GOES TO JAIL, more ? PEW NEWS?

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    林宜悉   posted on 2020/07/01
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