Subtitles section Play video
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Felix: Hey, Marzia! I have a surprise for you.
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Automated Voice: What the fuck is this, Felix?
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Felix: It's your favorite game!
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*clap*
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Automated Voice: Is it Happy Wheels again?
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Felix: No.
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Automated Voice: It better not be, Felix, else I am
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breaking up with you for Jack Spedicy
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John Cena: Are you sure about that?
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Felix: This game...is so much more than
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just hot "babes". Okay?
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Felix: This game is about: friendship, volleyball
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and having a great time.
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Marzia: M'kay. "Press any button".
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*presses button*
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*Felix laughing*
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Marzia: It didn't work.
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Felix: No, it's a *presses controller button*
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Marzia: Oh.
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Marzia: Where's mine?
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Felix: No, you don't get to play.
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Marzia: What?!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Felix: No. You *get* to play.
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Felix: Okay, you're gonna have to pick my girlfriend
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--Uh, I mean, my, uh...
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Marzia: Excuse me?
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Felix: *laughing nervously*
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Marzia: Ooh, can I pick?
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Felix: Yeah, so, you pick--you pick
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where you wanna go.
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Press, uh, press circle to go somewhere.
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Felix: You want to go to the 'Jack of Trades'
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Good choice. Uh, perhaps, buy some fabric.
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A cheesecake.
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A crab, perhaps.
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Felix: Buy the crab, Marzia.
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(insert savage teXt)
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Felix: You're really good at this game.
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Buy the crab, c'mon, buy the crab
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Felix: If I was an anime babe, I would love a crab.
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Felix: Thank you.
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Automated Voice: Okay, could you now shut the fuck up
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about buying crabs, now?
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(windows startup sound)
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*Windows XP startup sound bass boosted*
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Marzia: Okay, what else do I do now?
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Felix: Uh, well, go back with 'x'.
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You can't really do anything--you just buy stuff there.
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So, if you wanna go--
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"Marzia: Tenerife? (island in Canary islands)"
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Felix *sarcastically*: "Tenerife", that's right, it's "Tenerife"
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Felix: So, go down, okay, you--you...
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Okay.
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Now, we just get to see her for no reason, so.
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Felix: I don't--I don't know what's happening.
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Marzia: Well, I know what's happening.
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*laughter*
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Felix: Why are you--what did you select, Marzia?
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Felix: Okay, wait--what?
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Oh! Okay. I never done this.
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But, I've heard about this.
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...
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You have to take pictures.
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Felix: Wait, no-no-no. Careful, you don't want
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to skip anything.
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Felix: You skipped it!
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What the hell?
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Felix: Alright, so this game you are
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running against each other. Okay?
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You start pressing 'x' as fast as you can.
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Marzia: Wait, how are they running like that?
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*laughter*
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Felix: GO
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Not too fast, though. Not too fast.(heheheh)
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Marzia: Why?
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Felix: You fall. You'll fall.
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Too fast--too slow.
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Go faster.
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Marzia! What are you doing?
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Marzia: Who am I?
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Felix: I built a reputa--you don't even know
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who you are?!
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No, you're not! You're the girl!
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You're ruining my highscore.
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Marzia: We have some--
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Felix: I built hours of relationships in this game.
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Marzia: 'Mission failed'?!(we'll get em next time)
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Felix: You failed a mission?
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Marzia: /You/ failed.
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Felix: How did I--I didn't even play!
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Marzia: She failed.
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Felix: That's right.
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...
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Marzia: Who is it? What is this?
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Felix: I don't--I don't know.
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I'm tryna figure it out
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Hey! It's the twelve year old in the game.
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boobs
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Felix: Good job, Japan.
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Tranquil Beach sounds good, doesn't it?
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Marzia: Sure.
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Felix: Okay. And then pick--pick one of the red ones.
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Marzia: Okay, this is 'quit'. Okay?
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Felix: What?
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Marzia: That is quit.
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Felix: What does that mean?
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Marzia: Like, not this. 'Cause, she talked to--
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Felix: What are you saying?
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Felix: Mountain climbing!
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I never done this. I-I've been trying to find this.
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How did you find this?
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Which one was it?
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We're gonna mountain climb, Marzia.
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Gonna climb. We gonna go high up.
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Then, as you do on a holiday.
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Marzia: This seems like a bad idea.
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Felix: No, it's a good idea. She's fine. OMG
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*laughing*
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She's ready.
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Go!
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No, you gotta hit the-you gotta hit the *pointing*
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Marzia: Okay, okay.
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Felix: C'mon. Don't DIE.
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Marzia: This is--
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Felix: What happens if you fall?
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Why are you doing this?
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Marzia: This seems so dangerous.
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Felix: I kinda want her to fall. And die.
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And break her neck.
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The voice acting is...amazing.
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Marzia: Oh, look! She's sweaty.
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You see her?
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But her hair is perfect.
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What are we doing now?
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Felix: I don't know.
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♪ I just wanna tell you: you're all I love, yeah ♪
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Marzia: I can dance, you have to change me.
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Felix: Okay. I don't know how you
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change character--how would I know these things?
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Let me show you how it's--how it's done.
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Marzia: I mean, I mean look at her. She's like, so tall.
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Felix: Woah, what does this--
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Oh, I can take pictures!
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W O A H!
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How'd I do this? Oh!
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Marzia: Go!
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Felix: No, you're playing the game!
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dad ITS NOT WHAT YOU NOOOOO
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Go faster!
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You're winning, Marzia!
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Amazing!
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*laughing*
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*strained* Yes!
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Felix: Now you can pick--now you can pick.
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Marzia: Okay!
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Felix: Ooh.
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Marzia: So, that's the girl we had before.
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Don't like her.
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Don't like that.
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That one? Or, that one?
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Felix: I think I prefer that one.
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Marzia: Really?
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Felix: The other one looks a bit strange.
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Ok. Now you must play.
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You picked this.
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WHAT?
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Why?! WHY?!
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Okay, alright.
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Marzia: We're here against my babe.
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Felix: Oh! Oh! C'mon!
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Marzia: Look at my bad boings.
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Oh, you're good!
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Felix: What is happening?
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If we fall in, you're dead.
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Stop!
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S T O P !
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For fuck! Stop it!
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Ah!
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Ah!
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Stop!!
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C'mon!
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C'mon!
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Yay!
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*the text on screen is not being said at all*
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*Ainsley* "Ye-eah Boyah
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*Windows 'shut down' sound*