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  • -Welcome to "Late Night." How's everybody doing?

  • I just found out we have termites,

  • so I guess I am doing this for an audience.

  • Let's get to the news.

  • The Supreme Court today blocked

  • the Trump administration's attempt

  • to end the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program

  • that protects more than 700,000 immigrants

  • from deportation.

  • Man, how many times is the Supreme Court

  • going to shut him down this week?

  • Tomorrow they're going to say, "We're also making it illegal

  • to wear suits that look like trash bags.

  • Sorry, my man."

  • President Trump tweeted today about

  • former national security adviser John Bolton's new book

  • and said, quote, "Wacko John Bolton's exceedingly tedious

  • 'New York Times' book is made up of lies and fake stories,

  • said all good about me in print

  • until the day I fired him.

  • A disgruntled, boring fool who only wanted to go to war

  • and never had a clue, was ostracized

  • and happily dumped. What a dope."

  • Okay, but, you know, everyone already knew that,

  • and then you hired him.

  • Trump's like a McDonald's manager who puts

  • a golden retriever on the register

  • and then gets mad about the long line.

  • It was never going to work.

  • In a new interview,

  • former national security adviser John Bolton said

  • he believes that Putin thinks he can play President Trump,

  • quote, "like a fiddle."

  • I don't know. Fiddles are notoriously hard to play.

  • If anything, Putin is playing Trump like a drum machine.

  • [ Russian accent ] "Yes, I like this music."

  • White House counselor Kellyanne Conway

  • told reporters yesterday that publishing

  • former national security advisor John Bolton's upcoming

  • tell-all book is a national security risk.

  • And for once, I got to agree with her.

  • The organizers of hundreds of LGBTQ Pride events

  • across the world have announced that they will

  • hold a virtual experience later this month,

  • which will include speeches

  • from former Vice President Joe Biden

  • and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

  • But other than that, it should be a lot of fun.

  • The Senate yesterday passed a bill to spend nearly $3 billion

  • on conservation projects.

  • Unfortunately, it's for the conservation

  • of confederate statues.

  • I know.

  • But you can't let a beauty like that go into disrepair.

  • The former CEO of Bumble Bee tuna

  • was sentenced to three years in jail on Tuesday

  • for his role in a tuna price-fixing conspiracy.

  • Well, technically, one year for the price fixing,

  • and two years for bringing tuna into the courtroom.

  • "It was evidence, you guys."

  • This Sunday is Father's Day, the day we all pretend,

  • "What time is it where you are?" counts as conversation.

  • New York Governor Andrew Cuomo announced yesterday

  • that New York City is expected to enter Phase 2 of reopening

  • starting Monday, which is odd,

  • since Phase 40 apparently started last week.

  • And finally, the CEO of Netflix announced yesterday

  • that he will donate $120 million

  • to historically black colleges around the country.

  • The news was first reported as a new Netflix category.

  • And that is a monologue.

  • Thank you, termites.

-Welcome to "Late Night." How's everybody doing?

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Supreme Court Blocks Trump Administration from Ending DACA

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    izumis007 posted on 2020/06/21
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