Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles All right, guys! Pun times! I mean... Fun times. - Ahahaha... - Ohh!!! So welcome to another episode of TwoSet Violin. Today's video is about puns. Speaking of really bad musical jokes... Check out our TwoSet Apparel! - I know - - Where we got quality musical humor! Get it? Silent night. Like silent... Practice period. - Oh! - Get it? Cause like... Periodic table, get it? Oh, by the way, guys! The biggest sale of the year's here! Get into it before stock runs out... Because there's limited stock. And yes, thank you so much for the support. So we found a little website. My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park... Is that the lyrics? These are non-classical music. Yeah. - Doesn't affect me. Hahaha... - Pop music puns. Why shouldn't you let kids watch big band performances on TV? - This is like grade one joke or something... - Yeah... Let's keep going. A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar. I replied... *Groans* Alright, next one. This is starting to... - Do we have to go through all - - A little burn... I know, do we have to go through all 60? - We'll try. - I don't know if we can survive. Well, the game is to survive all the way to 60! What is Beethoven doing now? Oh yeah, we've heard that one. Good one! Did you hear about the music composer who committed suicide? Who makes these? Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? - What? - He was playing by ear... Okay, let's go... There's no logic to this at all... It's hurting my brain. What's a golf club's favorite type of music? - Ahh!!! - Ahh!!! Ba-dum tss! This is too much... That was kind of funny though. That got me. Is it like... If you laugh at these that means we're getting old. No, we're old when we can make these. - Oh, we can make it up. Yeah, Yeah. - Yeah, we can make it - Yeah, I can't make puns. I can't make - What do viola and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is happy when the case is closed. - Oh, yeah. - I mean, that's a typical roast. Why was the guitar teacher arrested? Guys... We don't condone such... Such terrible humor. What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married? Ohh!!! - Woo... - That's actually funny... What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? That's one more - Too many ''Na''s. No, like, duh duh duh duh... Yeah, but ''banana''. - That's true. Yeah, yeah, bananana. - What is a bananana? What do you call a musicians of problems? Okay... Sure. What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull? Ohh! That's pretty funny. Does that include the soloists, or is it just the principals? Probably both. Depending on the situation. - Yeah. Yeah. - It depends on the person as well. What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument? Moo! Moo-sician! I think I'm becoming lactose-intolerant from that joke. I know. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? Why couldn't the string quartet find their composer? Yeah... Funny! What's an avocado's favorite music? They're getting pretty painful, man... Yeah... I don't know if I can go through all of them. I know. I don't think I can. - Uh... - Urgh... - I don't even want to - - Come on, we gotta commit. What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner? You have to plug one of them in before it sucks. I mean... - That could apply to any instrument. - Yeah. C, E flat and G walk into a bar, the bartender shows them the door and says, "Sorry. We don't serve minors." Haha, get it? Cause it's C minor. - Hahahaha. - Hahahaha. How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks. - Oh god... - Oh... That's so bad... There's no like, logic in it. Yeah, or like... How did the farmer win the talent show? Cause he was corny. Oh, we can make it up, yeah. That was funny. I liked it. I liked it. That was - That's it guys, I just- Which composer likes tea the most? At 2 millions subs... Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”. We're a cover band. Oh my god... Okay... What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza? The 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four. I've heard this one! That's not even a pun. Yeah, that's not even pun. That's just a bad joke. Yeah, I just realized. How do you make a million dollars singing jazz? Start with two million. But that's not even a pun. This is becoming roast. Why do bagpipe players walk while they play? To get away from the noise. That's just a roast then. Where did the music teacher leave her keys? In the piano. Yeah, this is a pun. What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park? - I bet it's like parallel fifths. - Bach up. Bach up. - Yeah. - Oh, ''Bach up.'' Oh, it is. "Bach it up." What is the musical part of a snake? How are trumpets... I guess so. How are trumpets like pirates? Oh my god. Okay. Okay, I guess so... What kind of music are balloons afraid of? What's a composer's favorite game to play? I guess so... How many indie hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It's an obscure one. You probably haven't heard it. Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store? - Ah!! - Ah!! Loot! Oh!! Get it? What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend? Homeless. - What? - This is just a roast. Hey guys, can't think of anything funny? Make a joke about how musicians don't earn money. What's the difference between a fish and a piano? Huh? Dude, they could have done that so much better. They could have been like, how does sushi play in tune? With a tuna. "We are old when we can make these." We're sorry guys for putting you through this video, but please continue watching. How do you fix a broken tuba? Like a super glue? What's the first thing a musician says at work? "Would you like fries with that?" Another funny musicians not making money joke! What's brown and sitting on a piano bench? What, like a poop? - Wait, I don't get it. - I don't get this one. Is that like... Bowel movement? Does last movement mean poop? - Cause then that would make sense. - Yeah. What concert costs 45 cents? Alright, let's guess. Fifty cents minus five? Fifty cents, but he's worse? That's pretty funny. How do you make a band stand? Take away their chairs. Okay. - Fine. Funny. - Hahaha. Why couldn't the athlete listen to her music? Guess the punchline. Because it stinks. Uh... Ah! What would you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arms? This better not be an inappropriate joke. I thought this was puns, man. Why did Beethoven get rid of the chicken? All they said was... Ahh!!! Bach, Bach! RIP. What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere? - What's - what's - - What's it, composer? Is it a composer? Piani - Oh, is there a famous composer called Rachi? Or... Guys, please answer below. If you know, please comment. My neighbors are listening to great music Whether they like it or not. Wow, this is so bad. I need those like oxygen masks. You know from the plane like... - Dude, I can't... - I know. What do you call a singing laptop? Lil Mac. That's a pretty good one. - Oh!! - Oh!! That's actually alright. That's pretty funny. Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? Oh... Are you guys laughing at this? I don't know anymore. Why was Mozart a child prodigy? Because Leopold him to do so. That's not even true. A sharp... Urgh... What is A sharp minor? - I don't think he's ever written anything in A sharp minor. - Why would he start with A sharp minor anyway? Who does A sharp minor? B flat major, guys! A drum roll down a hill... Ba-dum tss! Ba-dum tssh. Ahh! Called it! So bad that I called it. How do you tell a difference between a violinist and a dog? Ha... Get it? Cause we - - But the dog doesn't know when to stop scratching, - Scratchy tone. Does it, does it? How many light bulbs - I can't even read, you do it. How many second violinist does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know. One? I don't know, gotta follow the first.