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Rape, murder, war.
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They all have one thing in common.
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Men.
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Aggression, violence, ambition unchecked by conscience -- all the stuff of “toxic masculinity,”
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right?
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And, the solution is obvious: make men less toxic.
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Make men less masculine.
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Make men more like women.
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But I'm here to tell you that this way of thinking is not only wrong, it's dangerous.
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Here's why: When you try to make men more like women, you don't get less “toxic
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masculinity,” you get more.
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Why?
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Because bad men don't become good when they stop being men; they become good when they
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stop being bad.
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Aggression, violence, and unbridled ambition can't be eliminated from the male psyche,
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they can only be harnessed.
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And when they are harnessed, they are tools for good, not for harm.
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The same masculine traits that bring destruction also defeat tyranny.
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The traits that foster greed also build economies.
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The traits that drive men to take foolish risks also drive men to take heroic risks.
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The answer to toxic masculinity isn't less masculinity; it's better masculinity.
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And we know what that looks like.
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It's a young man opening the door for a girl on their first date.
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It's a father working long hours to provide for his family.
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It's a soldier risking his life to defend his country.
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The growing problem in today's society isn't that men are too masculine, it's that they're
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not masculine enough.
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When men embrace their masculinity in a way that is healthy and productive, they are leaders,
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warriors and heroes.
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When they deny their masculinity, they run away from responsibilities, leaving destruction
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and despair in their wake.
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The consequences can be seen everywhere:
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One in four fathers now lives apart from his children.
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And children who grow up without a dad are generally more depressed than their peers
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who have a mother and a father.
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They are at far greater risk for incarceration, teen pregnancy and poverty.
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Seventy-one percent of high school dropouts are fatherless.
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“Of all the rocks upon which we build our lives ... family is the most important.
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And we are called to recognize and honor how critical every father is to that foundation.”
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That was said by then Senator Barack Obama in 2008.
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If “we are honest with ourselves,” he went on “we'll admit that ... too many
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fathers are... missing from too many lives and too many homes.”
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As much as we try to deny the need for real, masculine strength in society,
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there's no denying its necessity.
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Healthy families and strong communities depend on the leadership and bravery of good men.
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Yet, the current trend is to feminize young men in the hopes of achieving some utopian
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notion of equality and peace.
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And it starts at the earliest ages.
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In the school classroom boys are invariably “the problem.”
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On the playground aggressive games like dodgeball have long been banished.
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We tell young men that their intrinsic desire to compete is wrong.
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Everybody gets a trophy.
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Don't run up the score.
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This anti-male tilt continues on through higher education and into the workplace.
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It has created millions of tentative men, unhappy women, and confused boys and girls.
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Here's a secret that everyone woman knows: women want real men:
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men they can count on and, yes, look up to.
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No amount of feminist theory will change that.
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I don't know any woman, at any age, who is attracted to a passive man who looks to
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her to be his provider, protector and leader.
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Every woman I know wants a strong, responsible man.
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That's not a consequence of a social construct or cultural pressure—it's innate.
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The devaluation of masculinity won't end well because feminine, passive men don't
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stop evil.
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Passive men don't defend, protect or provide.
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Passive men don't lead.
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Passive men don't do the things we have always needed men to do for society to thrive.
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In his book The Abolition of Man, English social philosopher C.S. Lewis writes about
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this problem.
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He describes the tension “between cerebral man and visceral man.”
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“By his intellect,” Lewis explains, man “is mere spirit and by his appetite mere animal.”
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We need both.
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Take away one, and you're left with a man who's either weak or wicked.
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And in a world of wickedness, weak men are nothing more than enablers of wicked men.
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Rape, murder, war.
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They all have two things in common: Bad men who do the raping, murdering, and warring;
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and weak men who won't stop them.
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We need good men who will.
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It's not masculinity that's toxic.
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It's the lack of it.
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I'm Allie Stuckey for Prager University.