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  • Gary!

  • Looks like another beautiful day here in Bikini Bottom.

  • Attention! Attention! This just in!

  • A giant monster is attacking Bikini Bottom!

  • [screaming]

  • We interrupt this program for an important news announcement!

  • This wild throng behind me is screaming for Bikini Bottom's newest

  • culinary sensation!

  • Let's take a listen.

  • So much destruction. This reporter asks, why?

  • Local consensus places the blame on this negligent, selfish,

  • driving instructor, who--

  • Ah, what am I getting so worked up about?

  • I'm sure that by tomorrow this whole ugly mess will be a funny memory.

  • Our top story tonight!

  • Giant oyster has it's feelings hurt!

  • The only clue that could be found was this lone peanut!

  • And as you can hear, the oyster continues to emit it's horrible cry!

  • A cry so powerful it can be heard around the world!

  • A cry that not only breaks the sound barrier,

  • it breaks the hearts of our citizens.

  • In other news, local resident,

  • SpongeBob SquarePants

  • only has a few hours left to complete his essay.

  • And yet he continues to goof off.

  • [laughing]

  • We interrupt your laughter at other people's expense

  • to bring you this news flash!

  • The fake inspector has been captured!

  • Here is his picture. If a health inspector comes to your restaurant

  • and he's not this guy, he's real.

  • All of Bikini Bottom is a buzz over the identity

  • of a mysterious flying man who helps people!

  • He found my hair piece!

  • He helps people.

  • And he flies.

  • And he helps people.

  • We interrupt this program to bring you a news blast!

  • Terror in a shell!

  • This just in! Fear and disease is spreading like wild fire

  • as a killer snail has been biting the Denison's of Bikini Bottom!

  • Infecting them with Mad Snail Disease!

  • Ask any old fish on the street

  • and they'll tell you that germs enter through the bite radius,

  • traveling up stream until the entire host body is full of

  • Mad Snail Disease!

  • Flash! The jellyfish migration enters its second day of fantastic jellyfishing.

  • We now go live to our reporter on the scene.

  • This year's migration is the largest in a century.

  • I feel truly sorry for the poor saps who will miss even one minute

  • of this remarkable event!

  • Attention, Bikini Bottom!

  • My jellyfishing net has been stolen!

  • Perch Perkins here live at the Krusty Krab!

  • We're just moments away from an important press conference

  • with Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!

  • I have with me here Eugene Krabs,

  • owner of the restaurant. Any thoughts, Mr. Krabs?

  • [mumbles]

  • Okay, we'll come back to you later.

  • We interrupt this program for an important news announcement!

  • Bikini Bottom is literally in a state of total chaos tonight!

  • - Oh! - Literally!

  • We go not to News Sea Chopper 7. What's up?

  • Not looking too good up here, Perch.

  • The Krusty Krab is just about to come apart at the hinges.

  • Customers are in a rage over not getting their Krabby Patties!

  • Gary!

  • Looks like another beautiful day here in Bikini Bottom. Huh.

  • Gary!

  • This just in! A diabolical, albeit, haphazardly, thrown together machine

  • is attacking Bikini Bottom and is headed straight for the Krusty Kra--

  • Now the weather!

  • Here we go.

  • Thank you, Phil. Today's weather forecast calls for

  • A horrible storm will ravage the Bikini Bottom area.

  • A horrible storm!

  • You heard me. Panic is not advised. Although, it is recommended.

  • Chaos runs rampant in Bikini Bottom!

  • That's right folks. This is news reporter, Ben Blenny, standing in for Perch Perkins,

  • who's out today with a terrible case of indigestion.

  • And we are coming to you live during day three of what appears to be

  • Bikini Bottoms worst--

  • Am I on television?

  • Yes, sir. You are. Would you care to say a few words?

  • Hi mom! Hi dad!

  • Hey Dr. Sween. Hey Jennifer.

  • Hey Sally, hey Frances, hey Mable!

  • Hey Julie, hey Abigail!

  • Welcome back to Bikini Bottom News.

  • Our top story tonight, a series of sad tales.

  • Ooh, let's turn it up.

  • Tragedy in the park when a young snail caught in a tree

  • almost didn't get down.

  • Help!

  • Oh!

  • However, he didget down.

  • Breaking news!

  • Earlier today, Mr. Eugene Krabs, proprietor of the Krusty Krab restaurant,

  • parted with his beloved secret formula.

  • We now go to Perch Perkins live on the scene!

  • Thanks Elaine. Just moments ago.

  • Eugene Krabs sent his famously delicious secret Krabby Patty formula packing.

  • Take care of yourself little formula.

  • This just in. A mad man is chopping everything.

  • Not the giant screen TVs! Oh no!

  • The suspect is considered fat, pink, and dangerous.

  • Oh! Gianter TVs!

  • - What are those things? - Sea whelks!

  • A pernicious form of sea snail,

  • have invaded Bikini Bottom and are on the attack!

  • Devouring innocent citizens and covering the city with purple slime!

  • Luckily, the Bikini Bottom newsroom is perfectly safe.

  • This is Bikini Bottom News signing off.

  • Breaking news! The Tunnel of Glove

  • has turned into a tunnel of terror.

  • Just hours ago, the mechanism that controls the boats mysteriously stopped,

  • trapping the doomed couple inside.

  • A wealthy entrepreneur, who wishes to remain anonymous,

  • is sponsoring this year's Sleigh Race.

  • First prize, one million dollars!

  • All of Bikini Bottom is entered

  • but only one hopeful will win.

  • Thanks Goo!

  • And now we go to Perch Perkins at the scene.

  • That's right, Perch Perkins at Goo Lagoon,

  • bringing you the latest on the Super Goo event.

  • What do you think of Super Goo, young man?

  • I'm on TV.

  • Witnesses are flocking around the unveiling of Bikini Bottom's newest bank,

  • The Bank of Bikini Bottom Bank.

  • In shocking news today,

  • it has been revealed that frozen Krabby Patties are made with sand!

  • News flash!

  • A severe rip current may soon touchdown in Bikini Bottom!

  • Residents are warned to bar all windows and stay indoors!

  • Save yourself!

  • We interrupt this program to bring you a Bikini Bottom news flash!

  • Mr. Plankton, we've received word that you're plotting to

  • infiltrate the Krusty Krab and steal the Krabby Patty secret formula. Is that true?

  • Actually, yes, that is true. I got it all worked out.

  • First, I break into the save and ooh!

  • Wait. Is this live?

  • This is Perch Perkins live at the Krusty Krab!

  • Where we understand that a local fry cook has just gone nuts!

  • This just in.

  • Ow!

  • This is Perch Perkins reporting live from the Krusty Krab!

  • Where I am one of three people still unaffected

  • by this rabid Patty pandemonium!

  • The second unaffected person is in this dumpster!

  • Care to comment, sir, on the chaos?

  • Perch Perkins, how did you know I was in here?

  • I as napping in this dumpster when you snuck in seeking refuge.

  • Perch Perkins here for Bikini Bottom News!

  • Today, SpongeBob SquarePants will attempt the impossible!

  • A high sea dive from that diving board!

  • He'll be the first sponge ever to dive up through the ocean!

  • This is a Bikini Bottom News special report!

  • Perch?

  • Perch Perkins here at the Bikini Bottom power plant!

  • Where the evil super villain, known as,

  • The Dirty Bubble, has finally been cornered by police!

  • [grunting]

  • Stand back Coppers and cease your attack!

  • Or I'll make your Police Chief my late night snack!

  • Do what he says!

  • Will the grime of this evil soap globe wash over our fair city?

  • Or will the law force him to clean up his act?

Gary!

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EVERY Bikini Bottom BREAKING NEWS Report ? SpongeBob

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    Summer posted on 2020/06/08
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