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  • BOY, THE STOCK MARKET WAS WAY

  • DOWN TODAY AS THE RISE OF THE

  • CORONAVIRUS CONTINUES AROUND THE

  • COUNTRY AND THE WORLD.

  • THE GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA

  • DECLARED A STATE OF EMERGENCY

  • HERE, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE

  • WONDERING WHAT THEY CAN DO.

  • EVEN THE RAPPER, LITTLE NAS X

  • TWEETED, NO JOKING, DOES ANYBODY

  • KNOW WHAT I CAN DO TO HELP WITH

  • THE CORONAVIRUS?

  • WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

  • THANKS FOR ASKING, LIL' NAS X.

  • AND YES, THERE IS SOMETHING YOU

  • CAN DO.

  • IT'S CALLED THE EL BUMP.

  • I INTRODUCED THIS ON MONDAY.

  • IT IS A WAIY OF SAYING HELLO

  • WITHOUT INFECTING EACH OTHER.

  • THIS MORNING THE EL BUMP MADE IT

  • TO THE VIEW.

  • >> JIMMY KIMMEL IS PROPOSING AN

  • ALTERNATIVE TO A HANDSHAKE THAT

  • HE'S CALLING THE EL BUMP.

  • APPARENTLY THIS IS WHAT IT IS,

  • I'M GOING TO TRY IT OUT ON YOU.

  • >> THERE'S, OKAY.

  • HI.

  • >> YOU KNOW WHAT, AFTER ALL THIS

  • TIME, HOWIE MANDEL IS A GENIUS.

  • >> Jimmy: THAT'S RIGHT, HE IS A

  • GENIUS.

  • HE DOES THE MANDEL BUMP IS HIS

  • THING.

  • BUT THE GOVERNOR OF NEBRASKA

  • POSTED THIS ON TWITTER.

  • HE'S DOING THE EL BUMP WITH HIS

  • FELLOW MAN.

  • AND THIS IS SHOCKING TO ME, EVEN

  • THE VICE POODLE OF THE UNITED

  • STATES IS DOING THE EL BUMP

  • TODAY.

  • LOOK AT THIS.

  • HERE HE IS COMING OFF AIR FORCE

  • TWO.

  • AND THERE YOU GO.

  • THAT'S, I HOPE HE HASN'T BEEN

  • WATCHING THE SHOW.

  • THE BEST PART OF THE EL BUMP IS

  • YOU DON'T NEED A FACE MASK, NOT

  • THAT YOU CAN FIND A FACE MASK,

  • THERE'S A SHORTAGE RIGHT NOW OF

  • THOSE FACE MASKS EVEN THOUGH

  • THEY DON'T REALLY HELP PREVENT

  • THE CORONAVIRUS, PEOPLE HAVE

  • BEEN HOARD BEING THEM, WHICH PU

  • DOCTORS AND NURSES AND PEOPLE IN

  • HOSPITALS AT RISK.

  • YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUY ONE.

  • IF YOU WANT ONE IT'S VERY EASY

  • TO MAKE YOUR OWN SAFETY MASK AND

  • MY TRUSTY GUILLERMO IS GOING TO

  • SHOW YOU HOW YOU CAN DO THAT

  • NOW.

  • ALL YOU NEED IS A COMMON --

  • [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

  • A FEW COMMON HOUSEHOLD ITEMS.

  • FOR INSTANCE, LOOK AT THAT.

  • A COFFEE FILTER.

  • GET SOME DUCT TAPE, A COFFEE

  • FILTER, STRAP IT ON AND BREATHE

  • IN THOSE COLUMBIAN BEANS.

  • FOR THE NEXT ONE, YES, GO DOWN

  • TO THE GROUND GUILLERMO.

  • IF YOU DON'T DRINK COFFEE, WHY

  • NOT TRY AN OLD BRA?

  • OR FOR THE FELLAS OUT THERE WHO

  • MIGHT NOT HAVE A BRA HANDY, GRAB

  • A SLICE OF COLD PIZZA AND AN

  • EXTRA THICK RUBBER BAND AND

  • THERE YOU HAVE IT.

  • THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  • ANY FLAT BREAD WILL DO.

  • AND NOW YOUR MUSTACHE SMELLS

  • LIKE PEPPERONI.

  • THAT'S INTERESTING.

  • THIS IS A CLIP FROM THE FOX NEWS

  • COVERAGE OF THE MIKE PENCE NEWS

  • CONFERENCE.

  • LISTEN CAREFULLY TO SEE IF YOU

  • HEARD WHAT I HEARD.

  • >> WHAT'S THRESHOLD?

  • THE NUMBER OF DEATHS, THE NUMBER

  • OF CASES?

  • >> THAT'S A BRIEFING AT THE

  • WHITE HOUSE.

  • >> Jimmy: I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE

  • LOU DOBBS IS PRACTICING HIS

  • TROMBONE?

  • OUR COMMANDER IN CHIEF IS VERY

  • FOCUSSED ON THE CORONAVIRUS AND

  • TRYING TO SELL US ON THE IDEA

  • THAT IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.

  • HE PHONED IN TO SEAN HANNITY TO

  • TELL NOT WHAT THE EXPERTS ARE

  • SAYING BUT WHAT HE'S PERSONALLY

  • FEELING.

  • >> A GLOBAL RATE OF 3.4%.

  • YOUR REACTION TO THAT?

  • >> I THINK THE 3.4% IS REALLY A

  • FALSE NUMBER.

  • NOW THIS IS JUST MY HUNCH, BUT

  • BASED ON A LOT OF CONVERSATIONS

  • WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT DO

  • THIS, BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE

  • WILL HAVE THIS, AND IT'S VERY

  • MILD.

  • THEY'LL GET BETTER VERY RAPIDLY.

  • THEY DON'T SEE A DOCTOR, THEY

  • DON'T EVEN CALL A DOCTOR.

  • >> Jimmy: WE REALLY WOULD HAVE

  • BEEN BERT OFF WITH A MONKEY

  • PRESIDENT.

  • WE REALLY WOULD.

  • [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

  • DONALD TRUMP HAS A HUNCH.

  • HERE'S THING.

  • IF YOU'RE PRESIDENT OF THE

  • UNITED STATES, YOU DON'T GO WITH

  • HUNCHES.

  • YOU HAVE THE WORLD'S GREATEST

  • SCIENTISTS, YOU GO WITH THEM,

  • YOU LISTEN TO THEM.

  • THE ONLY HUNCH YOU SHOULD HAVE

  • IS THE ONE IN YOUR BACK WHEN

  • YOU'RE LEANING OVER THAT

  • 12-PIECE BUCKET OF KFC.

  • IT'S MILD LIKE THE SALSA AN AT

  • CHIPOTLE.

  • >> THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE

  • EASY CASES, BECAUSE THE EASY

  • CASES DON'T GO TO THE HOSPITAL.

  • THEY DON'T REPORT TO DOCTORS OR

  • THE NAPOLITAN

  • THE HOSPITAL IN MANY CASES.

  • I THINK THE NUMBER IS WAY UNDER

  • 1%.

  • >> Jimmy: PERSONALLY, I WOULD

  • SAY IT'S WAY UNDER 1%.

  • WOULD SOMEBODY PUT A MOZZARELLA

  • STICK IN HIS STUPID HOLE?

  • HE FLOATED THE IDEA THAT PEOPLE

  • WITH THE CORONAVIRUS COULD GO IN

  • TO WORK.

  • >> SO, IF, YOU KNOW, WE HAVE

  • THOUSANDS OR HUNDREDS OF

  • THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE THAT GET

  • BETTER, JUST BY, YOU KNOW,

  • SITTING AROUND AND EVEN GOING TO

  • WORK, SOME OF THEM GO TO WORK.

  • BUT THEY GET BETTER.

  • >> Jimmy: SEE, FOR HIM GOING TO

  • WORK MEANS SITTING AROUND

  • WATCHING NINE HOURS OF FOX NEWS

  • IN HIS UNDERPANTS.

  • SO HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT

  • THAT MEANS.

  • I DON'T KNOW, ALL HE CARES ABOUT

  • IS MONEY.

  • HE'S WORRIED ABOUT THE STOCK

  • MARKET BEFORE THE ELECTION, SO

  • HIS PLAN IS TO PRETEND THE VIRUS

  • AWAY.

  • AND IT'S ESPECIALLY INTERESTING

  • THAT TRUMP WILL BE OKAY WITH

  • SICK PEOPLE GOING TO WORK.

  • HE SAID IT THE SAME DAY HIS

  • COMMANDER OF THE CORONA TASK

  • FORCE TOLD US SPECIFIC LITALLY O

  • THE OPPOSITE OF THAT.

  • >> A BRIEF TUTORIAL FOR YOURSELF

  • AND YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR LOVED

  • ONES.

  • IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO STAY HOME

  • WHEN YOU'RE SICK.

  • >> Jimmy: WHAT COULD BE, COULD

  • THERE BE ANYTHING SADDER THAN TO

  • BE MIKE PENCE?

  • NOTHING YOU SAY MEANS ANYTHING.

  • YOU'RE LIKE A SEMI COLON.

  • YOU'RE REALLY JUST, AS JOE BIDEN

  • GETS READY TO STORM THE WHITE

  • HOUSE ATOP HIS RIDE-ON

  • LAWNMOWER, HIS OPPONENT, SENATOR

  • ELIZABETH WARREN HAS DROPPED OUT

  • OF THE RACE.

  • AMERICAN VOTERS ULTIMATELY

  • DECIDED SHE DIDN'T HAVE WHAT

  • THEY WERE LOOKING FOR IN A

  • PRESIDENT, WHICH IS A PENIS.

  • AND ELIZABETH WARREN FINISHED A

  • DISTANT THA

  • DISTANT THIRD IN THE DELEGATE

  • RACE.

  • IT'S HARD TO ARGUE THAT SEXISM

  • PLAYED A PART.

  • A LOT OF PEOPLE SAID I'M FINE

  • VOTING FOR A WOMAN, AFTER

  • HILLARY, I DON'T WANT TO RISK

  • IT.

  • IT'S SECOND HAND SEXISM IS WHAT

  • IT IS.

  • WHO WILL SHE ENDORSE?

  • THEY BOTH WANT THE ENDORSEMENT,

  • BERNIE AND BIDEN.

  • AND THAT'S WHAT SHE WAS ASKED

  • OUTSIDE HER HOUSE

  • >> WILL YOU BE MAKING ANN T

  • ENDORSEMENT TODAY?

  • WE KNOW YOU SPOKE WITH BOTH JOE

  • BIDEN AND BERNIE SANDERS

  • YESTERDAY.

  • >> NOT TODAY.

  • NOT TODAY.

  • [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

  • >> Jimmy: SO I GUESS BERNIE HAS

  • THE EDGE.

  • THE REMAINING CANDIDATES ARE NOW

  • BERNIE, JOOIE BIDEN AND TULSI FB

  • ARD

  • ARD WHO HAS A FUN REAL ESTATE

  • VIBE GOING.

  • BASICALLY, WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO

  • CHOOSE WHICH TYPE OF BREYERS

  • VANILLA, THE HOMEMADE, NATURAL AND EXTRA CREAMY, WHICH FLAVOR

BOY, THE STOCK MARKET WAS WAY

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Trump Doubts Coronavirus Science

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    Summer posted on 2020/06/08
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