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  • - Do you guys bleep?

  • I hope, okay. - Ooh. (laughs)

  • (upbeat music)

  • - Hey, I'm Jake.

  • - Hey, I'm Emily.

  • - And we've taught preschool before.

  • (Emily laughs) and man, is it wild.

  • - Hi, I'm Keeley, I am a current preschool teacher.

  • - I'm Stephanie, I used to be one.

  • Being a preschool teacher is great.

  • (Keeley laughs)

  • - I love teaching preschool,

  • but it does come with its crazy moments.

  • - So many diapers.

  • - So, oh so many diapers. - So many diapers.

  • - It's a roller coaster. (laughs)

  • - And you know what else is a roller coaster?

  • Playing never have I ever.

  • - I haven't played this since middle school.

  • Let's go. - (laughs) Let's do it.

  • - Never have I ever been called mommy or daddy

  • (Jake laughs) by a student.

  • - Definitely have. (Stephanie laughs)

  • - Definitely.

  • - And they're so embarrassed, right?

  • - Yeah. - They're like, mommy!

  • (Keeley laughs)

  • - Yeah. - Oh, yeah.

  • - It's weird. - Totally.

  • - It's real weird.

  • - I got Mister Daddy.

  • - Or I get the ones that don't realize it at first,

  • and so they'll just be like, Mommy?

  • Mommy?

  • Mommy?

  • - Yeah, it happened to me when real mom

  • was in the room, so. - Oh.

  • - It's uncomfortable.

  • It leads to a good conversation.

  • (Jake laughs)

  • - Never have I ever been given a cute gift by a student.

  • Yeah.

  • - I totally have. - Always.

  • - Yeah. - It's the best part.

  • - It can be anything.

  • - Yeah. (laughs)

  • - A piece of cardboard.

  • - Truly! - You're like, oh my God!

  • - I mean five-year-olds.

  • So, like the drawings are not art, but they're art.

  • - When I had my like, goodbye celebration after I moved

  • from being a full-time teacher to a substitute,

  • they had like a whole, like,

  • little celebration for me.

  • And they all brought flowers.

  • - I directed the theater show with the kids,

  • and they gave me a director's chair with my name on it.

  • - Oh. - Way too much.

  • Very sweet, but way too much. (Emily laughs)

  • - Never have I ever had to stop kids

  • from doing something naughty.

  • You mean 24 hours a day? - Of course I have.

  • What kind of question is that? - Even when I'm not at work?

  • (Keeley laughs)

  • - Yeah. - So many things. (laughs)

  • - I mean, what's the naughtiest?

  • - Naughty isn't really a word we use in childcare.

  • We don't say bad.

  • Those generalizations aren't welcome.

  • - The enrichment center, LOL-- - Yeah. (laughs)

  • - That I worked at was very much

  • about like, making positive statements whenever possible.

  • - So if a kid's like, biting another kid,

  • - You're like, no thank you!

  • - Yes. - No, thank you!

  • - One boy I was teaching, at one point,

  • was hosting a penis contest (Emily laughs)

  • in the boy's room.

  • Had to shut that down!

  • - Never have I ever had to try to explain

  • something substantial to a child because they asked.

  • - Oh boy. - Oh, I have.

  • - Oh boy.

  • - I would say, no.

  • No. - You're lucky.

  • - There was this book, and we were reading it

  • and at one point it was like,

  • "And then, like sometimes people die."

  • (Keeley laughs) And then literally--

  • - Yeah, yeah.

  • - The kid was like, "What does that mean?

  • "When someone dies?"

  • And I was like, this is the moment--

  • - Yes! (Keeley laughs)

  • - I've been dreading.

  • - I had a student who thought the kiss of a wedding

  • was what produced a baby.

  • (Jake laughs)

  • And he saw a kiss that was not within a marriage,

  • and I tried to get around it.

  • I tried to just say, like it doesn't happen then.

  • Never have I ever had to clean up pee, poo, or vomit.

  • - Oh, yeah. I've definitely had to clean up.

  • - Who hasn't? - Yeah.

  • - Every day. - Every day.

  • - Every single day.

  • - Many, many times a minute. - Yeah, yeah. (laughs)

  • - Can I add an addendum to this one?

  • You ever been vomited on?

  • - Oh, totally.

  • Yeah. - Yeah.

  • - I've been vomited on.

  • - I think I can honestly say I've cleaned up pee,

  • poop, and vomit in the last week.

  • All, like, yeah.

  • - That's-- - That's a great feeling!

  • - Some real teacher (beep).

  • - They choose you. (sighs)

  • Never have I ever had a favorite child in class.

  • - Ha ha!

  • - Oh, oh.

  • - Hmmmm, I think-- - That's a lie.

  • - I've had so many favorites

  • and I tried really hard not to let them know it,

  • but they always knew.

  • - Yeah, I think I'm gonna say I haven't.

  • Just because like, they all have something like,

  • something unique to offer.

  • Like, if I'm like, this kid--

  • - What a teacher. (Keeley laughs)

  • - I have for sure had a favorite.

  • (Jake laughs) And it may or may not

  • have to do with what their parents get you for Christmas.

  • - Whoa.

  • Never have I ever had to tell a parent

  • their child had misbehaved in school.

  • Yeah. - Yeah.

  • - Yeah, I've had to tell them.

  • - If your kid misbehaves, I am telling you, immediately!

  • - I've had to write some emails, and it's like, you know.

  • - The penis competition?

  • - Well, that was definitely-- - Was that emailed?

  • - A big one.

  • - We have to make sure we're very sensitive

  • with those things.

  • So the parents don't get like, scared

  • or feel like they're being judged.

  • 'Cause I think that's one thing

  • that parents are really, - Yeah.

  • - Really scared about. (laughs)

  • - You use kid gloves with the adults.

  • - Never have I ever been asked out by a parent.

  • - I mean, I wish. (laughs)

  • - No, but like I said, mine are much older than me.

  • - Sadly, I'm kidding. - No.

  • I'm grateful, truly.

  • - Isn't that the rom-com fantasy,

  • That we were all thinking of-- - Sleepless in Seattle, right?

  • - When we became preschool teachers? (laughs)

  • Never have I ever experienced a child

  • say something inappropriate.

  • - Oh, totally. - So much!

  • - Oh, yeah.

  • (Keeley and Stephanie laughing)

  • - They say things that are just so hilarious sometimes.

  • - Yeah, I think a kid's favorite thing to do

  • is to tell you when you don't look good that day.

  • - Oh, yeah.

  • - Lots of cursing.

  • Kids repeat everything. - Oh, yeah, totally.

  • - So if you don't want your kid to say,

  • - Chode.

  • - Chode! (laughs)

  • Don't say it around them!

  • - Butt(bleep), like all of those.

  • - Never have I ever been yelled at by a parent.

  • Ooh, Moment of pride, I have not.

  • Diffused that fuse. - I haven't been yelled at.

  • I've felt cornered a little bit by parents.

  • - Totally have been yelled at by a parent.

  • - Sorry. - I've been yelled at

  • by a parent in a classroom.

  • I've been yelled at by a parent through a group text.

  • - That's 'cause they're theater parents.

  • - Yeah, yeah, they're theater parents.

  • - Never have I ever been made fun of

  • by a child in class. - (laughing) Yeah.

  • - Refer to our previous question.

  • - I was told that I yell a lot, but it was like,

  • (Emily laughs) I exaggerate, you know.

  • I get into it, I get animated, I get excited about it.

  • And one kid told me just to take it down a notch.

  • (Jake and Emily laughing)

  • Said I was at an 11 and if he could be getting me

  • at a five, that would be great.

  • - That's good numbers though.

  • - It was really good numbers. - That's good numbers usage.

  • Yeah. - Yeah.

  • - Never have I ever been friends with a student's family.

  • I have not.

  • - Like, yeah, me neither.

  • - I have, actually, yeah.

  • - I have not.

  • - No? - Yeah.

  • I've been like, acquaintance-y.

  • But I've had a boundary thing with that.

  • - That's like, very frowned upon.

  • - Yeah.

  • - At least at the place I worked. It's very, like not okay.

  • - And I technically was friends with this family

  • before I got the job at the school I got.

  • And before their oldest student started going.

  • - In sum, being a preschool teacher

  • is grueling, rewarding--- - Nuts!

  • - Hilarious. - It's crazy!

  • - Nuts. - Nuts.

  • - Nuts. - Bananas.

  • - We do a lot. - Yeah.

  • - In our day, with so many kids,

  • so many other teachers, so many parents.

  • - I think a preschool teacher is a hard job

  • but someone's gotta do it. - Yeah.

  • - But totally worth it, if you choose it.

  • - It's totally worth it. - Totally worth it.

  • - Well, with preschool, what you see is what you get.

  • - Yeah. - And we help, you know,

  • (Emily laughs) Start kids off

  • as who they are, and, you know.

  • - So hopefully this was enlightening.

  • - Yes. - But not too terrifying.

  • - We hope we're not freaking anybody out

  • from ever having kids or teaching preschool.

  • - We are just a subset of the population.

  • - But we tell the truth.

  • - (laughing) Oh, ho, ho, ho. - Ohhh.

  • (upbeat music)

- Do you guys bleep?

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Preschool Teachers Play Never Have I Ever

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    Summer posted on 2020/06/08
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