Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • [up-tempo music]

  • [line trilling]

  • - [bleep] This is Bill.

  • - Hi, Bill. My name's Denise.

  • And I have just, kind of a crazy request.

  • But I have a friend who got me one of those clocks.

  • Have you seen them?

  • That says, "It's wine o'clock"?

  • - Okay.

  • - You know, it basically means

  • that every hour of the day is wine time, you know?

  • Yeah. [laughs]

  • And when, so, she gave it to me.

  • It cracked me up.

  • I almost pissed my pants when I saw it 'cause

  • I do--I do--

  • I feel that way, you know?

  • So anyways, I--how much wine do you guys got there?

  • Do you do one of those monthly memberships,

  • a daily membership?

  • What's, you know, 'cause I'd love--

  • Or a punch card or something or--

  • 'Cause I wanna stock up on some wine

  • 'cause I wanna play out this joke, you know?

  • I'm funny in my neighborhood.

  • - Sure.

  • We've got just, our membership club.

  • It's a [bleep] dollar lifetime membership.

  • You'd pay once. - Oh, goddamn.

  • - So we've got about 9,000 members of that.

  • It's really successful. - Oh, goddamn.

  • - Yeah, and then we do have an every other month club

  • that we put together--

  • - Honey, that ain't gonna work

  • 'cause this is a daily thing now.

  • [laughs] 'Cause I'm getting known.

  • 'Cause I've already had people over doing wine.

  • Can I put a sign up in your place with my address?

  • - [laughs] - I'm serious, honey.

  • Because this could be a thing where it's like,

  • we--this girl...

  • I'm not selling, I'm not selling your wine,

  • but it's, like, you put my address up.

  • It's like, "Here's where our wine will be."

  • And my honey, honey, my house is nice.

  • I'm talking above-ground pool, baby, yup.

  • I got a tanning bed too.

  • Do you tan? - [laughs]

  • - I know a tan guy when I hear one.

  • I know a tan guy when I hear one.

  • Honey, my husband wears jewelry, thank you.

  • Okay?

  • And I have no tan lines,

  • only 'cause I get drunk and pass out outside nude.

  • Yes, I do. [laughs]

  • It's wine o'clock, honey.

  • I will tell you something, and I'm not kidding.

  • And I swear on my life and I swear on my children,

  • so burn them to the grave if this is a lie.

  • I've been in a grocery store completely buck naked, honey.

  • - [laughs] All right.

  • I don't know, I don't know where were going, but--

  • - And honey,

  • I'm gonna meet you

  • because my husband does not care if I stray.

  • As long as it's a guy who cares about his appearance,

  • I'm coming down there.

  • [farts]

  • - Guess what else, the time it is.

  • Fart o'clock. Just kidding, honey.

  • I'm drunk as [bleep]. [laughs]

  • - All right.

  • - Do you like girls who fart? What's up?

  • - [snickers] So can I--can I--

  • - Get my number? Oh, my God!

  • Okay, he does like girls that fart and tan.

  • Oh, my God. I know something about you.

  • Come over and watch "300" with me, please.

  • - No, thank you--

  • - Please come over and watch "300" with me.

  • Come on. We can play "Spartan."

  • - All right. So--

  • - Honey, I got popcorn.

  • And that is a metaphor for pu...

  • - So, I'm gonna let you go now.

  • - Okay. How about I let you go too?

  • Okay, I'll let you go too.

  • I'll let you go too 'cause I got a grip.

  • - Sounds good-- - I got a grip.

  • You're in my hand. You're in my hand.

  • - Bye.

  • [retro music]

  • ♪ ♪

[up-tempo music]

Subtitles and vocabulary

Operation of videos Adjust the video here to display the subtitles

B1 US honey wine tan fart membership bleep

Heidi Gardner Prank Calls a Vineyard - Crank Yankers

Video vocabulary