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  • What do you mean you found someone more exciting than me?

  • Who's more exciting than me?

  • What do I gotta do to win you back, huh?

  • Rob a bank?

  • Blow up a fireworks display?

  • Do a back flip out the window?

  • 'Cause I'll do all three right now. [ESTP]

  • Jimmy bought a house?

  • Give me the address, I gotta look this up.

  • It's gotta be a piece of crap, right?

  • Actually, it's pretty expensive... and in a nice area.

  • Ah, but it's painted beige.

  • Which I don't like, therefore it sucks!

  • Jimmy!

  • Nice computer paper you have here.

  • - [Ominous Voice] Look at that bright white coloring.

  • The tasteful thinness of it.

  • Oh my gosh...

  • It even has a watermark.

  • - Dude, your singer-songwriter career

  • has really taken off.

  • I couldn't believe how many followers

  • you have on Spotify.

  • I'm sure you've had to compromise

  • your artistic integrity along the way

  • to appease your corporate overlords

  • who now own a part of your soul.

  • But dude...

  • You've made it!

  • Let's see, Sally posted this morning,

  • "Had a whole pizza and a pint of Ben and Jerry's

  • by myself for the third time this week.

  • #HighMetabolism."

  • Okay,

  • we get it baby girl,

  • you can eat whatever you want and don't have to

  • starve yourself to fit your booty in these skinny jeans

  • like the rest of us do.

  • #ThisTheWayGodMadeMe

  • Oh hey Bob, my wife told me you said hi yesterday.

  • By the way, if you're ever interested,

  • let me know and I can show you my shotgun collection.

  • Oh hey Jenny, congratulations on winning

  • employee of the month.

  • I didn't need to win it for twelve months in a row

  • and set a new company record anyway.

  • Besides, I've been getting a little sore

  • from putting the team on my back.

  • Oh, you got Aunt Hilda to help you?

  • I don't know why you'd get the help of a geriatric

  • who can't raise her arms above her head

  • instead of just waiting for me,

  • but all right.

  • I'm sure she appreciated it.

  • Ugh, another save the date for another wedding?

  • Ugh, always the bridesmaid, never the bride,

  • am I right?

  • (laughs)

  • Just kidding.

  • (somber music)

  • Found out that my college roommate just earned his PhD.

  • The guy's dumb as a box of rocks.

  • The only reason he got better grades than me

  • is because he played the teachers' games.

  • Not me!

  • If a professor says something stupid,

  • I'm calling him out.

  • I couldn't help but notice you got the fastest processor

  • the best GPU, and the maximum amount of RAM

  • on your computer.

  • That's great, I guess,

  • if you want excellent performance with no lag.

  • Psh!

  • Why'd you pick this Timothy guy to lead the project

  • instead of me?

  • Who the flip is Timothy anyway?

  • Wait, you don't mean...

  • You chose HIM?

  • Well, well, well, looks like my friends are out at the bar

  • without me

  • having fun and posting about it on Instagram.

  • We'll see who's having a more fun evening

  • when I post stories about me by myself

  • cleaning up my house

  • cuz I can't find my wallet anywhere.

  • I just saw my boss's paystub,

  • and what the frick, man?

  • So many zeros in the salary for a guy

  • who doesn't even know how to share a Google Doc,

  • and hits reply-all for every single email.

  • I'm shook.

  • Wikipedia says my favorite author published

  • his first novel when he was...

  • twenty eight.

  • And won a Pulitzer by the time he was thirty...

  • (ominous underscore)

  • Ah, a friend request from Brian Liggins?!

  • I haven't talked to this guy in years.

  • This is awesome, I love Brian, we go way back.

  • Let me see how he's doing.

  • Oh wow, he's married, he's got three kids.

  • Aw, they're cute.

  • He's got a dog.

  • He owns a house.

  • Got a pretty nice car.

  • He posted his salary on here,

  • I don't know why you'd do that...

  • And a status update saying,

  • "Just paid off my student loans!

  • Not stressed about anything."

  • I hate Brian Liggins.

  • - [Narrator] If you wanna own some of

  • these cool designs to wear on your own body,

  • the link is in the description.

  • You can be repping your favorite YouTube channel,

  • which is this one.

  • What is going on with my hands?

  • Pay stub, and what--

  • I got something in my eye.

  • Jimmy!

  • Jimmy!

  • Jimmy!

  • (laughs)

  • I'll show you my F22 collection (laughs)

  • so I can strafe you.

  • (laughs)

  • I need to lie down.

What do you mean you found someone more exciting than me?

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B1 US jimmy jimmy jimmy timothy ominous salary collection

16 Personalities Getting Jealous

  • 64 3
    Seraya posted on 2020/05/25
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