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  • hey and thanks for joining us here it's

  • like to go today we're going to talk

  • about gas lighting if you're wondering

  • what that is we'll explain it in this

  • video no worries we got you despite how

  • we may feel early in the morning our

  • minds are powerful things but you know

  • what they say about power though with

  • great power comes this is especially

  • true when someone wants to control us

  • and that power is used for nefarious

  • purposes of manipulation this can range

  • from passive aggression to the more

  • dangerous action of gas lighting with

  • gas lighting an abuser executes several

  • various actions and behaviors that

  • manipulate the victim into questioning

  • everything they feel believe and think

  • essentially eroding their sanity until

  • they're at the gas lighters mercy this

  • is the goal of the abuser control we

  • understand the sounds wearing so let's

  • have a look at ten signs it's not you it

  • might be gas lighting one you don't feel

  • like you fit in anywhere do you feel

  • like you're a complete outcast are

  • somehow hugely different from others

  • this feeling is being artificially

  • encouraged by the abuser you're

  • constantly having normal to find for you

  • via this outside input further they also

  • confirm that you don't fit into its

  • boundary

  • gasps letters do this so they can

  • influence what you think about yourself

  • thus they maintain control do you

  • question and doubt yourself no matter

  • how you define yourself having your own

  • definition or image of who you are

  • is fundamental it helps us define our

  • values and beliefs forming the unique

  • and valuable you unfortunately one of

  • the gas lighters goals is to shred this

  • definition through persistent lies like

  • you're remembering that wrong or you

  • never did that the persistent

  • contradiction is so intense that the

  • victim can begin to doubt things they

  • know about themselves their memories and

  • their perceptions if there's someone in

  • your life who insistently acts like they

  • know everything about you better than

  • you do they might be a gas later three

  • your self-esteem is much lower since

  • you've been around them have you ever

  • heard or seen someone say you used to be

  • so outgoing what happened or even

  • noticed a marked change in yourself did

  • this big change seem to occur right

  • around the time a specific person

  • entered the scene sounds like a job in

  • self esteem self esteem is closely

  • linked to mental health and the National

  • Alliance of mental illness notes that

  • having low self esteem can lead to

  • depression anxiety and even addiction

  • abusers actually work to lower your

  • self-esteem beating you down by bringing

  • up your weaknesses and faults even if

  • they're not true this continues until

  • you feel disheartened and believe you

  • aren't worthy of healthy self-esteem

  • for you become depressed feeling

  • unstable with your brain a mess

  • makes you more susceptible to depression

  • to add to this terrible situation your

  • feelings of sadness and hopelessness are

  • trivialized the gas later will say

  • things like you're overreacting or

  • you're just being lazy get up already

  • this obviously only worsens the

  • situation I've you're constantly

  • guilt-tripped you now have an

  • unfortunate repeat round-trip ticket for

  • the guilt train

  • welcome to blame them the abuser will

  • blame you for several things twisting

  • the truth and turning arguments around

  • to dump the fault on you you may have

  • nothing to do with any of these

  • accusations the abuser will continue to

  • persist and insist until you feel guilty

  • 6 your frequently let down by them gas

  • letters typically don't keep their

  • promises and their actions don't match

  • what they say they thrive on keeping

  • their victims unsure and uncertain

  • you're constantly asking yourself will

  • they follow through this time do I need

  • to make backup plans they see no gain

  • and consistently keeping their promises

  • so they don't 7 you are frequently lied

  • to

  • beyond being let down outright lies are

  • all too common from the gas later we

  • don't normally allow Liars into our

  • lives we catch the lie draw the line and

  • set the boundary gas letters don't make

  • it so easy as their lives are so subtle

  • in the beginning then they gradually lie

  • more frequently and make it so common

  • that the manipulated person can no

  • longer tell the difference between

  • fabrication and reality 8 your fears are

  • used against you like a bogar from the

  • Potter verse ass letters use your fears

  • against you this is a control tactic

  • scaring you into doing what they want

  • and gasps letter will build on that fear

  • so it becomes a go-to threat warning

  • that if you don't change your behaviors

  • to their specifications you'll end up

  • alone forever 9 you're isolated from

  • others if you find yourself wondering

  • where your close friends went or why

  • there are now barely acquaintances this

  • may be from manipulated isolation the

  • gas lighter excises others to push you

  • to become more dependent on the only

  • person left them they'll spread lies and

  • so distrust and you and everyone around

  • you making the gas lighter seem to be

  • the only reliable figure this further

  • benefits them as your isolation means no

  • one knows what's going on with you so no

  • one can help

  • and ten you question everything

  • normally curiosity is a good thing

  • asking questions helps us learn so of

  • course count on a gas lighter to ruin it

  • now you're not questioning for

  • enlightenment or knowledge you're

  • questioning your sanity and every aspect

  • of your own reality destroying it in the

  • process the horrific repeated insistence

  • that you're crazy or you're making that

  • up eventually breaks down anything

  • previously stable without that solid

  • foundation you start to wonder if all

  • the terrible things they say are true do

  • you see anything that rings a bell in

  • your past or present recognize hints of

  • any of these points and others let us

  • know in the comments below being treated

  • in the ways outlined above is not

  • positive normal or healthy at all even

  • though gas lighting can unfortunately

  • have lasting damage recovery is possible

  • awareness of key signs is the first step

  • to protection from manipulation which

  • can then lead into the healing process

  • we'll do our best to provide you with

  • knowledge be sure to share this video

  • with someone who might benefit from it

  • and never be afraid to reach out and

  • listen you in our next video

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B1 US gas esteem lighting questioning lighter frequently

10 Warning Signs of Gaslighting

Video vocabulary