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One of the unfortunate downsides of making positive changes is that people around you sometimes get negative.
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It happens with people beginning new fitness regimens.
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It happens with people starting new businesses and it certainly happens with people who follow tips on this channel to become more charismatic, as they say, haters gonna hate.
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In this video, you're going to discover five tips to put haters in their place when they start chirping.
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First, when people start hating, ignore it.
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You don't have to laugh at their point of jokes, you don't have to defend yourself or respond, and you don't even have to look at them.
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Being ignored is one of the most powerful negative reinforcers and is often enough to get people to immediately change their behavior.
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If you're one-on-one, you can just let an awkward silence sit and if you're in a group, just go right on talking to someone else who isn't hating.
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People who are critical are usually looking for some kind of reaction and when you ignore them, they're likely to drop it.
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Second, when haters are passive-aggressive, act as if they're being genuine.
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So when you hear, "Nice sweater, bro," respond, "Thanks, I'm glad you like it."
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This can be confusing and it forces the person hating to actually say what they mean or to back down.
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Either way, you will not have to deal with passive-aggression.
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Third, is for a special brand of passive-aggressiveness called "I could never do that."
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You tell someone that you're living off of ramen on your quest to save enough money to move to Nashville and hit it big in the country music scene and a reply saying, "Well, I could never live like that."
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Or you tell them your new fitness plan that cuts out all sugars and they say, "Well, I could never do that," and then they look at you like you're crazy.
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Your response should be simple.
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This: "it's a good thing that you make decisions for you and I get to make decisions for me because if the roles were reversed, it sounds like we both be really unhappy."
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Go back off immediately.
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Fourth, when the criticism is coming from people close to you, a bit of vulnerability can go a long way.
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"Resistance" is what compels most haters to continue.
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They'll tell you that you'll never be able to make it.
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You say that you will for these reasons and then they tell you why those reasons aren't good enough.
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The cycle continues as long as the disagreement is about the facts.
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But if instead of arguing the facts, you share your values and your real concerns, you're likely to have more success.
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So when someone close to you says: "Your business is going to fail," respond telling them that: "Yes, it might not work out but I love what I'm doing and I'm learning a lot."
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Or when they say you should quit pursuing your goal as becoming more confident because it's not something they think you can learn, reply: "Confidence doesn't always come naturally to me so I have to work on it."
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"But I have seen some improvements and it had a really positive effect on how I feel."
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"So I'm going to keep going."
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People tend not to attack when you let them know the emotional reasons that you're working on something.
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Fifth, find a community.
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A lot of the hate that we deal with comes from people close to us who don't want us to change.
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They're invested in us staying the same even if it comes at the expense of our happiness and growth.
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So to limit the pushback you receive, find groups that are into what you're into.
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Go hang out with illustrators who like to draw comics or wannabe comedians who practice improv at a local club.
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There's a group for almost everything and you can find it if you Google your town plus the activity that you're into.
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Meetup.com is also great for finding your tribe.
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So there you have it, five tips for getting haters to disappear.
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As you want to join a tribe that is very pro self-improvement, click the button here to subscribe to the channel.
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You might even find some ways to improve that you didn't know you were interested in.