Subtitles section Play video
-
Have you ever thought about why we make friends?
-
After all, do we really need friends at all?
-
Couldn't we get along just fine by ourselves?
-
Sure, we all like to be alone every now and then.
-
It can be nice to enjoy some peace and quiet or get some rest and relaxation without anyone else around.
-
But for most of us, being alone gets lonely and after a while we start yearning (for) the company of other people.
-
We are social creatures and derive a lot of our happiness through the relationships that we have developed.
-
Scientists who have studied relationships in depth have found that people with good friends tend to live longer lives.
-
They also tend to be healthier.
-
Good relationships have been associated with lower levels of stress, decreased blood pressure, and a reduced risk of depression.
-
So, let's reap the benefits and get you to make some new friends.
-
First, you have to be social.
-
There is no way around this.
-
If you just lay on your couch all day, isolating yourself and just playing video games, you won't meet any new people and therefore won't make any new friends.
-
You need to get out and be social, okay?
-
Maybe being social to you means going to parties, maybe it means going to a coffee shop or maybe it means going to events, like concerts.
-
But the fact is in order to make new friends you need to be around potential friends.
-
One of the best ways to do just that is to just join a club, group or organization of something that you enjoy doing.
-
If you're going to go out and be social while doing something you like, guess what?
-
You're going to be meeting people that also enjoy the things that you like and so it just kind of makes sense that friendships are going to form.
-
To be interesting, be interested.
-
People think you have to be super interesting to make friends, but that's simply not true.
-
When talking to someone, just be genuinely interested in them, people love talking about themselves.
-
They think the world revolves around them, so listen to the stories they have to tell since this will form deep roots of friendship.
-
You and I both know people who blunder through life trying to wigwag other people into becoming interested in them.
-
Of course it doesn't work.
-
People are not interested in you.
-
They are not interested in me.
-
They are interested in themselves, morning, noon and after dinner.
-
If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true, sincere friends, as they are not made that way.
-
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
-
So ask questions that the other person will enjoy answering and encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.
-
Start a conversation with everyone.
-
Every single person that you come into contact with, ask them how they are doing and genuinely listen.
-
So next time you hit the gym, make small talk with another regular there.
-
Talk about the weather, talk about that sporting event you went to over the weekend, but more importantly, ask them questions that will tell you more about them.
-
For example, if they tell you they are going hiking on the weekend, ask them more about it.
-
Where are they going?
-
How long have they been doing it and are they going alone or with someone else?
-
Next time you see them, ask them how that weekend hiking went.
-
Usually a conversation where something sticks, leads to more conversations and suddenly you're making plans with the [sic] said person.
-
So make sure that you are constantly chatting up people, because that's where it all begins.
-
And I know it sounds scary, because you feel like they might not reciprocate and that's okay.
-
You are going to get rejected even in this process of making friends, so you have to develop a thick skin.
-
It gets easier over time though, but you have to put yourself out there.
-
Some people might just not like you and there is nothing wrong with that.
-
You can't be friends with everybody, since we are all so different.
-
But in the process of weeding out people you don't connect with, you will find people that you can connect (with) on all levels and that's how true friendships form.
-
Thanks for watching.
-
Like and subscribe for more!