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  • Hello. This is 6 Minute English from

  • BBC Learning English. I'm Neil.

  • And I'm Sam.

  • Do you cry easily, Sam? I mean, when

  • was the last time you cried?

  • Let me think... Last week watching

  • a movie, probably. I was watching

  • a really dramatic

  • film and in one scene, the heroine

  • gets separated from her children.

  • I just burst out crying.

  • How about you Neil - when was

  • he last time you cried?

  • Men don't cry, Sam.

  • Come on, Neil! That's a bit stereotypical,

  • isn't it? - the idea that men

  • don't show their

  • emotions and women cry all the time.

  • Well, that's an interesting point, Sam,

  • because in today's programme

  • we're discussing crying.

  • We'll be investigating the reasons why

  • we cry and looking at some

  • of the differences

  • between men and women and

  • between crying in public and

  • in private. And of course, we'll

  • be learning some related vocabulary

  • along the way.

  • I guess it's kind of true that women

  • do cry more than men. People

  • often think crying is

  • only about painful feelings but we also

  • cry to show joy and when we

  • are moved by something

  • beautiful like music or a painting.

  • So, maybe women are just more in touch

  • with their feelings and that's

  • why they cry more.

  • Well actually, Sam, that brings me

  • to our quiz question. According to

  • a study from 2017

  • conducted in the UK, on average, how

  • many times a year do women cry? Is it:

  • a) 52, b) 72, or c) 102?

  • Hmm, it's a tricky question, Neil.

  • I mean, there are so many different

  • reasons why people

  • cry. And what makes me cry might make

  • someone else laugh. I think

  • some of my female friends

  • probably cry around once a week, so I'll

  • guess the answer is a) 52.

  • OK, Sam. We'll find out later if you were

  • right. Now, while it may be true that men

  • cry less often, it also seems that they feel

  • less embarrassed about crying in public.

  • This may be because of differences in

  • how men and women think

  • others will view their

  • public displays of emotion. Here's BBC

  • Radio 4's Woman's Hour speaking

  • to therapist Joanna

  • Cross about the issue of crying at work.

  • Let's take the workplace. If you've got

  • somebody who seems to cry regularly,

  • I think that's

  • not helpful for the individual because then

  • if they cry over something that really is

  • important to them, they might not be

  • taken so seriously - or they

  • get a label. But I

  • do think crying is often a build-up of

  • frustration and undealt-with

  • situations and it's a bit

  • of a final straw moment.

  • So people who regularly cry at work

  • risk not being taken seriously - not

  • being treated

  • as deserving attention or respect.

  • And they might even get a label - become

  • thought of as having a particular

  • character, whether

  • that's true or not.

  • Here's Joanna Cross again:

  • You build up your resentments, your

  • lack of boundaries, not being able

  • to say 'no' and

  • then somebody says, 'Can you go and

  • make a cup of tea?' and you

  • suddenly find yourself

  • weeping. And everybody says,

  • 'What's wrong with her?', you know, but actually

  • that's often a backlog

  • of situations.

  • So, a common reason for crying at work

  • seems to be a build-up

  • of resentments - feelings

  • of anger when you think you have been

  • treated unfairly or have been

  • forced to accept something

  • you don't like.

  • When left undealt with, these feelings

  • can create a backlog - an accumulation

  • of issues that you

  • should have dealt with before but didn't.

  • Right. And then, like Joanna says,

  • someone asks you to do something

  • very simple and easy,

  • like make a cup of tea, and you start

  • weeping - another word for crying.

  • That's a good example of a final straw

  • moment, a term which comes

  • from the expression, 'The

  • straw that broke the camel's back'.

  • The final straw means

  • a further problem which itself

  • might be insignificant but which finally

  • makes you want to give up.

  • I hope this programme won't be

  • the final straw for us, Sam.

  • I doubt it, Neil. The only time I cry at work

  • is when you used to bring in

  • your onion sandwiches

  • for lunch. In fact, I can feel a tear rolling

  • down my cheek right now...

  • Ah, so that counts as one of your cries,

  • Sam. Remember, I asked you

  • on average how many

  • times a year women in the UK

  • cry - and you said?

  • I said a) 52.

  • Well, don't cry when I tell you that you

  • were wrong. The actual answer

  • was c) 72 times a year.

  • Which on average is more than men,

  • but less than parents of new-born babies,

  • both mothers

  • and fathers. They cry almost as much

  • as their babies!

  • Today, we've been talking about crying - or

  • weeping, as it's sometimes called.

  • People who often cry at work risk not

  • being taken seriously - not treated

  • as deserving

  • of attention or respect.

  • This means they might get a label -

  • becoming known as someone with

  • a particular kind of

  • personality, even though that

  • may not be true.

  • But crying is also a healthy way of

  • expressing emotions. It can help

  • deal with resentments

  • - feelings of anger that you have

  • been treated unfairly.

  • If we don't deal with these feelings in

  • some way, they can grow into

  • a backlog - an accumulation

  • of unresolved issues that you now

  • need to deal with.

  • And if you don't deal with them, you might

  • become a ticking bomb

  • waiting to explode.

  • Then anything someone says to you can

  • become the final straw - the

  • last small problem which

  • makes you want to give up

  • and maybe start crying.

  • What's the matter, Neil?

  • Was it something I said?

  • No, Sam - I'm crying because it's

  • the end of the programme!

  • Ahh, don't worry because we'll be back

  • soon for another edition

  • of 6 Minute English. But

  • bye for now.

  • Bye.

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The power of crying - 6 Minute English

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/04/23
Video vocabulary