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  • Hey, how's it going?

  • Welcome back to another episode of

  • TwoSet in Quarantine.

  • That's right. If you don't know why we're separate,

  • go watch our other video, you, you...

  • unsupportive Ling Ling wannabe.

  • Just kidding, guys. Don't take it personally.

  • Just kidding, just kidding.

  • We'll be in quarantine, life is difficult.

  • We're getting all agitated at home.

  • Yes.

  • Well...

  • Today we will be roasting

  • some strange gadgets on these Chinese websites for-

  • that are related to the violin.

  • Let's do it.

  • Chinese reading practice time. Let's go!

  • Right now it says...

  • Ha ha ha ha ha!

  • This is the God Pillar.

  • - Oh, this is... - Oh wow...

  • If you want to challenge Ling Ling, guys,

  • get the God Pillar.

  • You know it's like, legit, too.

  • 'cause there's a crotchet.

  • They must be musicians.

  • And so... it says here on the...

  • the next line down.

  • Ooh...!

  • Basically, it say-

  • I... I can't read the rest.

  • But it's saying...

  • It's a God Pillar rod that will...

  • improve your tone quality

  • for violins, violas, and cellos.

  • Violas, this is your chance to become a god.

  • Yeah, finally you can sound good with the God Pillar, violists.

  • Alright, there's a video here.

  • Should we watch it?

  • Wait, pause, pause...

  • First of all...

  • *speaks in high pitch* Why is she talking like this?

  • *speaks in high pitch* Hey guys, welcome to TwoSet Violin!

  • It sounds like she has a God Pillar up her-

  • Wait, pause, pause, pause!

  • Alright, first of all, she said...

  • "There's 9,800 people using this in the world."

  • Using it, yeah!

  • Dude, that's such a randomly specific number!

  • Ha ha!

  • Like not 10,000, they say 9,800.

  • I can't tell if they're trying to be honest about it,

  • or trying to just pretend to be honest about it.

  • And, and...

  • Apologize, my Chinese is not that good.

  • But I think she said...

  • "It will make your violin sound..."

  • "value of 90,000 dollars?"

  • Does a Strad that's worth 10 million dollar

  • get improved down to 90,000 dollars?

  • Like how does that work?

  • It's like, if you have a violin more expensive,

  • it just goes back down to 90,000.

  • Yeah, it goes down in value.

  • Wait, wait, wait!

  • Pause, pause...

  • - What is she doing?! - Wow...

  • WHAT IS SHE DOING?!

  • It actually is a metal rod in the violin!

  • AHH!!!

  • Okay, putting the rod in is one thing.

  • But think about the other side of the rod.

  • What is it doing to the wood on the other side of the violin,

  • near the neck?

  • Dude... That poor violin!

  • It's going up the violin's...

  • Butthole.

  • Eddy: Yeah!

  • That is against violin rights.

  • And look, it says in the subtitle in the video,

  • "only takes 10 minutes to install."

  • Dude, what the f***!

  • I have never met a violinist,

  • unless they're like a freaking trained luthier,

  • that just takes out the endpin, and put something inside.

  • Oh, you need the sound post to not move as well.

  • 'Cause if you release the pressure, the sound post will drop.

  • Then you've lost all your sound.

  • But don't worry, guys. The metal rod will save you.

  • Whoa!

  • Stop!

  • Did you see that?!

  • - The freaking nail, ha ha! - They just stabbed the wood!

  • It stabbed the block of the-

  • Oh my god!

  • Guys, you do not poke holes in your instrument.

  • The holes, they are all premade and preset

  • by luthiers and violin makers.

  • Don't. Make. Any. More. Holes.

  • Brett: Stop the holes.

  • Stop the holes!

  • Just based off the claim that

  • this is easy to insert and only takes 10 minutes,

  • that's ********.

  • I don't think to this day I've done this to my violin.

  • Taken the whole tail piece off myself.

  • Don't do it.

  • You need a luthier.

  • Hi, guys!

  • We wanted to ask an expert to just get their opinion.

  • So Olaf.

  • We've got uh-

  • It's our friend, A Cup of Copee.

  • It's supposed to actually screw right here into the top block.

  • - Without being able to see anything, - Yeah!

  • - how would you even get it to the middle of the... - Yeah!

  • top block, you know?

  • When you guys told me, I got an old cello spike.

  • So we can kinda see what it's supposed- Ha ha ha...

  • So it's-

  • So it's supposed to go through the middle of the instrument.

  • I mean, this is solid.

  • So I mean it's really close to the sound post.

  • So if someone self-installs this,

  • it's likely that they'll knock over the sound post in the process.

  • How bad would it be

  • if you actually accidentally screwed it in through the rib,

  • and the screw comes out the other side.

  • Alright, pause!

  • She said it again, right?

  • 99-

  • - Oh wait! - 990,000.

  • No, that's...

  • 990,000!

  • "...worth of tone quality direct to your house."

  • Guys, you want some...

  • - 990,000 worth tone quality direct to you house - Innovation of the year!

  • in a package?

  • I'll probably just grab it, and go...

  • That metal thing literally looks like

  • a bubble tea stainless steel straw.

  • Eddy: There's no science. It's just a hollow metal rod.

  • That's not gonna make your violin sound better.

  • Can I just say how impractical this is?

  • 'Cause most violins are not all the same size.

  • I don't know if it says that you can like,

  • move the metal up and down,

  • like, extend the length or not, to adapt to your violin size.

  • That's just gonna be sticking out of the...

  • butthole of the violin.

  • At the bottom, you see how there's 3 rods next to each other?

  • Brett: Yeah.

  • And it's like...

  • "The stainless steel one will sound brighter,"

  • "whereas the carbon fiber one"

  • "will sound darker and warmer," like...

  • Oh wait.

  • Steel looks bright, carbon fiber looks dark.

  • "We'll just use that as a selling point."

  • Guys, please.

  • I really hope...

  • no one bought this.

  • Oh, and look, look!

  • If you keep going down, there's the version with the cellos

  • that extends to the endpin.

  • - And if you keep going down, there's a model. - WHAT THE ****!!

  • - Why is she naked!? - Why is there a model with-

  • Okay, blur it out, editor.

  • Did she get the God Pillar?

  • Is that what-

  • What? Why?!

  • "Before you install it,"

  • "your instrument is sick,"

  • "it needs to be cured by this God Pillar."

  • Wait, so are they saying

  • this woman is the God Pillar now

  • to save your sickness?

  • Dude, look at the model's face.

  • Look how badly photoshopped that is.

  • Wow... Yeah...

  • Holy moly! That crop!

  • Dude, even at the bottom, they got a real instrument.

  • They show you on the cello.

  • No...

  • Dude, oh, there's comments!

  • "My sound improved."

  • - No... - "I've got it today."

  • Oh, people are actually buying this!

  • No...

  • I don't know if they bought it, or these are like fake paid comments.

  • Wait, now we gotta watch the second video.

  • This is good.

  • So "male, female, old, young."

  • "Just one..."

  • "Penetration."

  • Dude, you just need one penetration.

  • It doesn't matter if you're a guy or a girl,

  • if you're old or young.

  • "You just need a s-"

  • Alright, pause, pause...!

  • Oh my god!

  • First of all, if you're gonna use Pirates of the Caribbean,

  • - you're immediately losing credibility from any... - Yeah.

  • classically trained professional.

  • Or just any legit musician.

  • Yeah!

  • I love how they try to show that everyone is using it.

  • They've got a bunch of people...

  • that all...

  • fell for this trick.

  • But why are there all guys?

  • I thought it says guy and girl can both use it.

  • - Yeah. Ha ha! That's true. - Have you noticed everyone is a dude!

  • Like, in my experience, learning violin at the con.

  • Typically, there's a little bit more girls

  • that learn the violin than guys, right?

  • - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. - Like, it's pretty equal, but it's like 60 to girls,

  • 40 to guys.

  • But this is all men.

  • Eddy: I haven't seen a single woman in this.

  • I can't help but feel like

  • this is some weird pyramid scheme cult

  • - kinda feeling. - Yeah, I was thinking that!

  • - I was like Ponzi scheme or something. - Yeah! Yeah.

  • They're all like trying to sell it.

  • Wait!

  • Pause!

  • Was there-

  • - Was there a guitar? - Yeah, there was a guitar, too!

  • Wow!

  • And it keeps saying like...

  • it's gonna solve...

  • "暗藏的危-"

  • 危...

  • 危...

  • "危害"

  • Like...

  • Solve the hidden damages to your instruments?

  • Eddy: Or something like that, I think it's what it said? Brett: Yeah. Yeah.

  • Yeah, it doesn't matter what-

  • You can't see the damage, guys, on your instrument.

  • You just know it's broken.

  • Okay, so it takes the pressure from the strings for the violin.

  • Your violin is going to reincarnate.

  • Okay, first of all, theory-wise, like...

  • You need the pressure.

  • That's what makes the sound.

  • It's not going to work.

  • What do you actually think would happen

  • to the sound of a violin if you stuck a...

  • - rod through it? - Look, I...

  • I can't see it being good for the instrument.

  • Like, the whole instrument is supposed to move

  • and everything is supposed to move.

  • So if you put something that's rigid inside it,