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  • Hello lovely people,

  • This video is sponsored by Surfshark, who are letting me panic but also helping to keep

  • me calm with many episodes of Grey's Anatomy.

  • As you know, I like to keep this channel as a little ray of positivity

  • - and polite sarcasm

  • In a cloudy internet world. As an eternal optimist

  • - I promise, life is actually pretty cool!

  • Not sarcasm.

  • Please subscribe.

  • I like to see the silver lining in everything, even though I live with chronic illness and

  • disabilities. And I want to share that with you, making you smile and feel bright. But

  • sometimes the best way to make you feel better, is just to share that

  • I'm alsopanicking.

  • - Huh. That coronavirus, hey(?) Really keeping us on our toes (!)

  • We've been told since the beginning of the pandemic that COVID-19 mainly affects the

  • elderly and people with underlying health conditions, those deemed to be 'vulnerable

  • people' will be receiving the most help when socially isolating, or 'shielding',

  • butwhat does that actually mean? Who is vulnerable? And what if, like me, you're

  • vulnerable but not 'vulnerable' in the right way?

  • Panic buying of food in the UK began long before we were on lockdown and to start with

  • it was actually pretty amusing: photos circulated on Twitter of supermarkets looking perfectly

  • normal bar the toilet paper aisle with their shelves bizarrely devoid of even a single

  • sheet. We left laughing emojis on videos of people attempting to steer their trolly around

  • corners as it overflowed 228 rolls of toilet paper-

  • - “don't they know that this is a respiratory virus, NOT one that makes you go to the loo?”

  • Well the joke's on us now we're in isolation without toilet paper, isn't it?

  • But then it all started to get a bit more serious and suddenly we were walking around

  • supermarkets with completely empty shelves and panicking that, oh, actually, maybe this

  • is something we should genuinely worry about

  • And all of the slots for online delivery were gone.

  • And all of the supermarkets were barely restocking in time.

  • And then the government advised that those with ill health should stay in their houses

  • for 12 weeks.

  • And now here we are.

  • Sitting in my house.

  • Nearing the end of week 2.

  • Quietly panicking about food.

  • Because the British government have identified 1.5 million people who they class as being

  • 'vulnerable' and who should be 'shielding' by avoiding the outside world and thus will

  • be receiving food parcels and extra help. This includes organ transplant recipients,

  • people with specific cancers, severe respiratory conditions,

  • rare diseases and those on immunosuppression

  • therapies. And if you're on that list and haven't yet received a text or a letter

  • from the government then please contact your GP IMMEDIATELY. Those in the vulnerable group

  • should not attend gatherings of any kind and should not leave the house for any reason,

  • including to buy food.

  • I have wasted intercostal muscles, I've previously had pneumonia and bronchitis

  • a number of times

  • and I have an autoimmune disease-

  • - you know that time I thought that I didn't actually have Mixed Connective Tissue Disease

  • because I've now been diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome? Nope. According to my doctor

  • I have both. Fun (!) Moving on...

  • Despite that my conditions are not listed on the government's vulnerable list

  • Now, don't get me wrong, I do NOT want to be sicker than I am, BUT there are a lot of

  • disabled and chronically ill people who are falling into a grey area of being vulnerable

  • but not vulnerable in the right way.

  • Think about it: yes, a person with severe respiratory issues cannot leave the house

  • because they would be more susceptible to catching COVID-19 but what about someone who

  • lives alone, uses a wheelchair and doesn't have any accessible shops in their area…?

  • Both of these people need online deliveries but only one can access the government's

  • database for vulnerable people.

  • Last week I slowly started to get more and more freaked out as our food supplies ran

  • low. I checked through every single supermarket delivery system. I sat in a four hour online

  • queue just to log in to my normal grocery delivery service only to be told that there

  • were no slots available for the next two weeks and no more orders would be taken.

  • Other supermarkets said they would only be delivering to those on the 'vulnerable'

  • list provided to them by the government or to older people (lord knows how they were

  • planning on working out ages from email addresses…)

  • - insert 'hotmail' joke here.

  • Yes, this is exactly what you're subscribing for.

  • I tried to sign up for the Government's 'vulnerable people' database but I don't

  • fit into their very narrow classification even though my GP told me on no uncertain

  • terms to put myself at risk or leave the house.

  • I realise it sounds like I'm whining but that's just because I'm smiling. What

  • I'm actually doing is panicking and crying on the inside.

  • I'm currently doing weekly livestreams on Sundays whilst stuck in isolation for 12 weeks

  • (thanks so much, faulty immune system) and I mentioned in the latest one that I've

  • become OBSESSED with Grey's Anatomy during this trying time. Why, you may ask?

  • Excellent question.

  • For some reason, my inner panic about world wide medical anxiety is quieted by watching

  • the over-the-top medical dramas of Seattle Grace Hospital where apparently every single

  • person with every single incredibly rare disorder or accident HAS TO GO to be saved by one of

  • just eight people, despite being in a hospital of hundreds, who all sleep with each other

  • and also discuss said sex during surgery which, by the way, is the only time they tie their

  • hair up!

  • Basically, every time I watch it with Claudia, who has a medical background and job

  • she feels the need to say:

  • - “non regulation hair and earings!”

  • To the extent that I now want to reach into the screen with a hair tie!

  • I can't tell you why watching fake medical drama soothes real medical drama but it actually

  • works and I'm much calmer now. Except I live in the UK, which means that I only have

  • access to the latest season AND THAT'S JUST NOT OKAY!

  • - but don't panic, I've found the solution thanks to today's sponsor, Surfshark.

  • Genuinely, thank you Surfshark, you have helped to calm my soul.

  • Surfshark is a VPN app and browser extension that allows you to access the internet safely

  • AND without barriers. A Virtual Private Network encrypts your data when you log on to public

  • wifi, meaning that hackers can't gain access. It also hides your IP meaning you can set

  • your location to anywhere in the world and thus watch videos that are available in those

  • countries but aren't in yourslike Grey's Anatomy season 15.

  • - I'm feeling very zen right now.

  • You'll also be able to unblock some great content that's here on YouTube, like clips

  • from American late night shows or things from the BBC here in the UK. I'm particularly

  • fond of Surfshark's VPN because it's the only one that lets you use one account across

  • unlimited devices. Meaning I can watch Grey's Anatomy on my phone, my ipad, my laptop AND

  • my desktop!

  • - Have I talked about Grey's Anatomy enough? It also has LESBIANS.

  • But this is not an advert for Grey's Anatomy because as fun as it is being able to access

  • content you can't normally see thanks to Surfshark, the most important factor is safety.

  • A VPN adds an extra layer of security when you're online to keep all of your passwords,

  • photos and videos safe. You might think it's hilarious sending ugly up-the-nose shots of

  • your fifteen chins to the private group chat but you'll think it's less hilarious when

  • a random stranger uses your wifi to steal it from you...

  • It's not just malicious data stealing that you'll be protected from, Surfshark will

  • also defend you from tracking, surveillance and commercial targeting! No malware, no phishing,

  • no insecurity when you're online banking, lots of Grey's Anatomy.

  • - other TV shows are available.

  • In fact, with a VPN, they're all available! Simply change your location and you'll be

  • amazed at all of the great things available on your streaming service that you never had

  • access to before!

  • Just click the link in the description of this video and use code JESSICA for 83% off

  • plus one extra month for free! AND Surfshark offers a 30-day money-back guarantee so there's

  • really no harm in trying it...

  • Surfshark does not monitor, track or store what you do online, it's just a safety net

  • that lets you surf the web in peace. And watch until the end of Grey's Anatomy.

  • - Oh god, please tell me what to watch when I get to the end of Grey's Anatomy

  • Because this 'calm panic' is not very fun...

  • Imposter Syndrome with regards to illness is very real and probably a much larger topic

  • for another day. As it relates to the coronavirus thoughIt's seen me swinging between panic

  • with the pain and fear of having my lungs feel with gunk coming back to haunt me

  • and then yelling at myself because I'm not still as ill as I was then so I need to pull

  • myself togetherguilt for even feeling scared in the first place when there are others

  • so much worse than methen realising that yes, if I did get the virus, I likely would

  • not do very well and I DO NOT want to end up back in hospitalbut I won't, right?

  • But… I will?

  • And yes, perhaps I'm aiming all of that fear onto food and wanting to control something

  • that, much like my own health, I have just the slimmest margin of control over. But

  • that's all I can do.

  • Sainsbury's were willing to create their own list of vulnerable and elderly people

  • but they only have a phone line (which isn't super accessible but sure(!)) and they've

  • received a year's worth of calls in two weeks. There are 10 million people aged over

  • 70 in the UK. Can they handle putting them all on the list? And I know, I know that it

  • is so much worse for people in other countries, that I'm utterly and completely blessed

  • to have the NHS but the truth is that living without some kind of official, accepted cover

  • has left me feeling

  • vulnerable.

  • - Is anyone else sick of the word 'vulnerable' yet?

  • I'm used to being called a 'vulnerable adult' although that's generally by social

  • workers and thanks to my cognitive problems

  • - I'm a bit of a liability.

  • I know, surprising, isn't it? I can sit here talking in a video and sound very 'with

  • it' but if you send me into a shopping centre for food you'll find me three hours later

  • turning in circles and clutching a slipper.

  • Disability benefits in the UK come in two parts (there is supposedly a new system based

  • on overall points, which is dumb because you could score really highly on one axis but

  • not on another but never mind.... high rare care, high rate mobility. You can be on the

  • highest for both but still not be eligible for the 'vulnerable' status that gives

  • you access to food...

  • And look, I already HAVE a diagnosis and support in place. I'm already registered as disabled

  • so should the government open up their idea of what qualifies as 'vulnerable' to ALL

  • disabled people then I'll be finebut what about people who aren't there yet?

  • There are many, many people who are in the process of being diagnosed, people who are

  • waiting for their benefits to come through, going through the welfare system, waiting

  • for a certificate that registers them as legally blind or in need...

  • In the end, last week, when we couldn't get any food delivered, we bit the bullet

  • and sent my wife out to the local supermarket for food. It's a small little local supermarket,

  • not in the city, so she queued for only an hour outside as they were letting just a limited

  • number of people into the shop at one time.

  • When she came home she washed her hands and changed her clothes and unpacked butshe

  • still left the house. She still came into contact with people in close quartersand

  • She still picked things up from a shelf that someone else may have touched

  • and put back and

  • doesn't that completely negate the idea of isolating ourselves? I know some families

  • are keeping their distance even from each other but how would that work when I physically

  • need her help?

  • There are a large number of disabled and elderly people who are in a far worse situation than

  • me, who rely on carers who come in daily and don't live with them, which increases their

  • chance of infection massively as these people are going in and out. My carer, Clara, doesn't

  • have a car so has to take the bus to my house and wow buses are pretty gross at the best

  • of times

  • She's been using a lot of her working hours searching for food recently because, oh I

  • forgot to add, I also have to follow a special medical diet that means I rely on fresh food

  • and can't just eat tins of beans or dried lentils or other things that make me bleed

  • internally because the hospital is not where I want to be right now.

  • I wish I had an answer to this problem, that this video had a message and a solution, but

  • it doesn't because I don't.

  • And that's okay. These are just my feelings. This is just my hand held out to you.

  • Am I allowed to be afraid? Yes. Are you? Yes.

  • We're all allowed to feel our feelings, no matter what they might be. No matter if

  • we're scared that they're not valid or know that there are others who have it worse

  • or a thousand people on social media who seem like they're coping so much better because

  • they can make jokes and laugh at this big scary, invisible monster that we're all

  • facing.

  • But that's the key: we're all facing it.

  • And it's scarier for some than it is for others, granted. And some of us are stronger

  • than others and can fight a virus off. But it's still a big unknown that has the power

  • to draw us together. Because we can all get through this if we work together. If we stay

  • inside, follow the rules of social distancing, help those who are in need, spot who in our

  • communities may need the most help, and then volunteer whatever effort we can give.

  • We've gone through these things before, and we'll go through them again,

  • and we can do this.

  • Stay safe, stay calm and I'll see you in my next video.

Hello lovely people,

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B1 vulnerable grey anatomy people panic government

I'm a vulnerable person and I'm afraid // AD [CC]

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/04/06
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