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  • relationships are everything.

  • I believe we are on this earth to love and connect with one another on whether we're conscious of it or not.

  • How and with whom we spend our time, reflects what we value most.

  • A book or a movie, coffee with a friend or liking a status update, writing the letter or sending a text.

  • Our interactions today are done in snippets and snaps, texts and tweets, short cuts and symbols through screens and devices.

  • Our communication is brief, superficial and distracted.

  • We're not even using full words.

  • We're settling for mediocrity, valuing convenience over intimacy and speed over sentiment.

  • Despite the impression that technology makes us more connected, studies repeatedly revealed the opposite that people today feel less connected, more isolated and alone than in any previous generation and our need for immediacy.

  • We are sacrificing riel connections in our impatience.

  • Hand written notes have been forgotten How many Jen's years even own stamps.

  • In fact, going to the mailbox has lost its joy, filled with white envelopes of Bill's coupons for car washes and coffee flyers for Dr A resealing and credit card applications that we do not need.

  • But now picture opening your mail box and inside you see a bright blue envelope.

  • Can you feel your heart Race with love and your cheeks stretch into a smile.

  • Do you feel that thrill of wondering who it's from or recognizing familiar handwriting?

  • Maybe you open it right away.

  • Maybe you save it for last, savoring the anticipation.

  • All right, now, go ahead, look at the return address.

  • Feel your heart filled with love.

  • Slide your finger under the blue flap and pull out the note.

  • Read the words that were meant just for you receiving.

  • You know, TMI is not only that someone thought of you, but that they took the time to share something from their heart to yours.

  • They signed and sealed it and stamped it and addressed and got it to a mailbox.

  • And in today's digital instantaneous world, that is a solid show of commitment because it's become so easy to reach out V e mail or social media.

  • But it's not enough to heart something.

  • It's ordinary and overused.

  • It doesn't let know Someone know what they mean to you.

  • Doesn't repair divides or he'll hurts.

  • Ah, letter coming through a screen is missing something.

  • There's an inherent disconnect between the center and the receiver.

  • It's missing that special personal, raw connecting power.

  • When I was 12 I paid a dollar to get a French pen pal.

  • I still remember the address by heart.

  • Nine.

  • Route a Super Bowl in Bordeaux, France.

  • My pen pal Benny Ditte wrote to me in English, and I wrote to her in French.

  • We swapped maps of our towns and pictures of our families.

  • No writing off for high school and college but never meeting until seven years after our first letters were exchanged, when I flew to France to spend the month of July with her family.

  • Since then, we've shared many special times together.

  • She spent the summer with our family.

  • I was the maid of honor in her wedding.

  • Our kids and our parents have met.

  • And just so you got a year ago, my husband and I flew to France to surprise her for her birthday.

  • Coincidentally, today is her birthday.

  • So a year ago, on a random Thursday night, with the help of her family, she came home from work to find us sitting in her kitchen.

  • We're like sisters.

  • Ours is one of my most cherished relationships, and it all began with letters.

  • As the years passed, technology advanced we to switch to texts and social media for sharing family news and quick, close and happy birthdays.

  • But the truth is that this precious relationship would not have been so without the foundation of decades of handwritten letters.

  • And I know this is true because our sons, who have the best time I can't stop laughing when they're together.

  • They don't stay connected on Snapchat or the video games they're both on and my daughter and then his niece.

  • They tried to have a little connection on Snapchat, but it fizzled, never going beyond the superficial with the countless APS and platforms for communicating digitally, handwritten notes are endangered precariously near extinction wth E.

  • U s Postal Service reports that correspondence male is fading as a form of personal communication.

  • In 2018 the average Joe's household received one piece of personal mail on Lee once every 10 weeks, 2.5 months, and that's down from once every two weeks in 1987 handwritten notes, a rare but like so many rare things, they hold great value and worth.

  • They're more meaningful and treasured than a text or an email.

  • You got a sweet text.

  • How do you save it with a screenshot?

  • Saved your camera with 14,892 other photos that you hardly ever look out.

  • Does it ever become tangible?

  • When's the last time you penned an email to your refrigerator or some through a box of really special texts?

  • A kiss flowing emoji does not feel the same and does not mean the same as a note that says, I miss you and I want to be near enough to give you a kiss.

  • A screen shot is not like no paper that lets you hold in touch and full of the same paper that the writer held and touched unfolded with every stroke of the pen.

  • Something of the writers passed along.

  • Their style, their personality, their energy.

  • A little piece of them is shared with you, and you can keep letters for longer than a lifetime, re reading them, reliving their memories any time letters capture history, the culture of a time, the created time capsule write your letter is one of the most genuine and generous ways you can let someone know they matter.

  • A handwritten note says, I care so much about you that I took the time to write down my thoughts and feelings so that you can physically hold them.

  • And Acai note is inexpensive, but could be the most memorable gift more valuable than an expensive purchase, because a note is the gift of your time.

  • And if you had someone to share with you some practical tips.

  • But think now off the surprise will create for someone when they get your note.

  • Picture your grandmother space, your brother smile your friend's hand on her heart because she's so touched and letter writing has many benefits for the right, or to help us to be mindful.

  • It's really hard to multitask when you're writing a letter, and there's this sense of not easily being able to change.

  • We erase something.

  • We right, so we pay attention to what we want to convey.

  • It's meditative time to slow down, pause and reflect, and by slowing down, it allows us to consider what matters.

  • On paper, you're less likely to complain about the weather or your roommates music or how badly you slept last night.

  • Instead, it helps us to be authentic and honest and vulnerable, which isn't always easy.

  • But it is always important in nurturing relationships, and writing a letter is like spending a little bit of time with that person, no matter how far away they are, and by when we feel connected, it lifts us up.

  • Studies show that writing by hand gives us lower stress, cognitive improvements, a better outlook, a more positive mood, more gratitude, sharper memory and a better overall sense of well being.

  • Writing my hand as balance to our keyboard dominated lives and like coloring it reduces anxiety and brings a sense of calm.

  • Besides all these awesome benefits, it's just playing classy.

  • And at its heart, letter writing is sentimental, nostalgic and tied to tradition, a history of staying connected to love, one's through times of war and long separations.

  • So let me make it easier for you to join in the power of letter writing with a few practical tips.

  • First, pick out a no card or a box of cards that makes you happy.

  • Find something that reflects your style, or that reminds you of the person you're gonna send it to, and then you'll pick out stamps The postcard has many great designs, but you don't even need to go to the post office.

  • You can go to the grocery store, the drugstore, the card store.

  • There is probably somewhere you go on a regular basis that sells stamps, and please don't buy just one by whole sheet.

  • Keep them with your note cards.

  • Start collecting actual mailing addresses.

  • Put them into your phone in your contacts where the readily accessible you may want to keep a running list of people who you'd like to read a note, too.

  • Or perhaps you want to pick a day every January 1st, the third of every month or every Sunday when you're gonna sit down and write a note or two.

  • Nearly a year ago, one of my dear friends lost her son at the funeral.

  • The pastor invited everyone there to send a letter to the family on their own birthday.

  • And the result.

  • Waas a year of notes filled with stories and memories of their son helping to hold them up and remind them of just how very many lives he had touched.

  • That's the power of a letter, and it doesn't need to be long or fancy to be meaningful.

  • It just needs to be from your heart.

  • So if you don't already have somebody in mind, who could you write to?

  • What would you say?

  • Well, right to express gratitude, acknowledge someone's influence and impact in your life, right?

  • To kindle a romance or to build lasting connections.

  • Maybe there's something that would be hard for you to say in person, but that you really want to share.

  • Avoid regret and write it in a note.

  • Maybe you could write to your mom when you go back from college after a break, Go back to college after break, leave behind a thank you no, or write her a note after you've been up all night with your screaming infant, right to your coworker who deserves recognition for your Children.

  • How would your teenager feel to receive a note from you telling them that you're proud?

  • What would it mean to your spouse or partner to get a note from you that didn't list groceries or two DUIs, right to your friend who haven't talked to in a while who lives across the country for crust town for across the street?

  • And what about our friends were struggling through divorce, cancer, loss of a parent, her child right to them to help them, to encourage them through life's tough times, right to let them know they're loved and thought of, and that in some small way you are supporting them in their difficulties, letters have the strength and power to heal and build relationships in a way that's more meaningful than anything with a keyboard or screen.

  • So now together, let's make a difference.

  • If you read even only one note a year, I challenge you to handwrite and male one.

  • Today I have no cards for everyone here to choose from.

  • So get ready to take out a pen and write a note to someone you care about to dare to connect in a timeless, powerful way and to start a positive ripple effect in your world.

  • Change your relationships with a pen and a stamp and one handwritten note at a time.

relationships are everything.

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B1 letter handwritten writing pen write connected

How a Pen and a Stamp Can Change a Relationship | Leah DeCesare | TEDxBryantU

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/04/04
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