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  • (regal orchestral music)

  • - So, you've been called for jury duty in the impeachment

  • trial of President Donald J. Trump.

  • As a juror, the most important thing is to remain impartial.

  • The following remarks by the defendant should not

  • be considered when rendering your verdict.

  • - Ted Cruz, I call 'em lyin' Ted Cruz.

  • He's lyin' Ted.

  • He wasn't born in our country, folks.

  • He was born in Canada.

  • - There was a picture out there that's reportedly

  • shows Rafael Cruz standing with Lee Harvey Oswald.

  • - I mean, what was he doing? - I don't know

  • if it's been verified. - What was he doing

  • with Lee Harvey Oswald shortly before the shooting?

  • You know Chuck Schumer, cryin' Chuck.

  • (crowd boos)

  • Cryin' Chuck Schumer.

  • You know, I used to be a big contributor.

  • He used to kiss my ass, Chuck Schumer.

  • He'd do anything.

  • That stiff, Mitt Romney, a total stiff running,

  • who by the way, he's a dope.

  • He's not a smart person, I'll tell you right now.

  • Crazy Bernie, he's crazy as a bedbug.

  • Crazy Elizabeth Warren, or as I affectionately

  • call her, Pocahontas.

  • I have more Indian blood than she has and I have none.

  • This guy, Lindsey Graham.

  • You have a guy, he's one of the dumbest human beings

  • I've ever seen.

  • I think Lindsey Graham is a disgrace.

  • The guy is a nut job.

  • And then you have Cory Booker.

  • Here's a guy who destroyed, practically by himself,

  • the city of Newark, New Jersey.

  • He was such a bad man.

  • Rand Paul shouldn't even be on this stage.

  • He's number 11, he's got one percent in the polls.

  • I never attacked him on his look and believe me,

  • there's plenty of subject matter right there.

  • Da Nang Richard Blumenthal.

  • Da Nang Dick.

  • He's a fraud, he never was in Vietnam.

  • You have this clown, Marco Rubio.

  • Don't worry about it.

  • Don't worry about it little Marco.

  • It's L-I-D-D-L-E, little, little.

  • Little Marco.

  • - Again, jurors are instructed to disregard these insults.

  • Thank you for doing your civic duty.

(regal orchestral music)

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Trump Impeachment Trial Juror Orientation | The Daily Show

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    林宜悉 posted on 2020/03/24
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