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  • Despite being huge and having the ability to open canned goods, humans are frail in both body and mind and we must care for them.

  • Perhaps from ennui, or malaise, humans often stare at random, inanimate objects for hours at a time.

  • Your duty is to break this spell, to remind them that there is life out there to live.

  • Perhaps the worst offender of these objects is the "light box".

  • You must remind them that boxes don't need light.

  • You just need the light of your imagination.

  • See what I did there?

  • Look! I'm an astronaut now.

  • And now I'm a rocket ship and the box is the astronaut.

  • I just blew your mind.

  • They insist on using water bowls that are too narrow for their heads, which means they cannot drink in the civilized fashion with your face and your tongue.

  • Speaking of tongues, humans don't seem to use theirs for anything.

  • You must lick them every morning and remind them that a tongue is a terrible thing to waste.

  • I have no clue how they keep clean.

  • Besides that cute little tuft on their heads, humans are, for the most part, sadly hairless.

  • During the day, they cover themselves with little body blankets.

  • You must donate your fur to these articles whenever possible.

  • Each night, you must curl up on their faces or they will freeze to death.

  • For all of this, we only ask the occasional help opening cans and a clean place to do our "kitty business".

  • But even here they need help, too.

  • They're constantly bringing in these giant bags they can barely carry.

  • Remind them there is an alternative: All the strength. Half the weight.

  • Clever human.

Despite being huge and having the ability to open canned goods, humans are frail in both body and mind and we must care for them.

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B1 US BuzzFeed remind astronaut tongue light box clean

A Cat's Guide To Taking Care Of Your Human

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    Go Tutor posted on 2020/12/22
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