Namaste.

You have a really great yoga practice.

I saw your inversions at the end of class, pretty impressive!

Thank you, I've been practicing about five days a week for quite a while now.

How long have you been practicing?

Um... about a year.

I'm actually gonna get my certification this fall.

That's really fantastic.

I bet you're gonna be a great teacher.

I'm sorry, did you just look at my chest?

Yeah.

Can I go to one yoga class without being completely ogled by some jerk?

Hold on just, just a second here, can I say something really quickly?

Oh, now you're asking for permission, please...

If you really didn't want me to stare at your beautiful breasts, you'd be wearing something other than a purple sports bra, covering maybe a third of your perfect tits.

And another thing, I'm biologically programmed to stare at boobs, okay?

It's in my DNA to scan for supple, life-giving breasts.

And it's not a personal thing, it's not about me, it's about my potential future offspring! Okay?

So really it's a selfless act I'm paying it forward.

And one last thing, okay, if all that isn't enough.

I spent the best eighteen months of my life sucking on those things for my very sustenance, okay?

So don't you think that maybe, in the recesses of my mind that I look at breasts and I think of a safe haven, that they are objects of love and caring, representing a time in my life when days were easy, and that maybe I saw all of that in your beautiful breasts?

I don't know what to say.

That was actually logical, and somehow sweet.

Do you wanna go get coffee or something?

You know, that'd be really great.

Hey, Mitch, how's it going man?

Hey Greg, I thought you were swimming, what are you doing at yoga?

Oh, well, I was, and then I met April and now I'm doing yoga.

Are you guys... ?

-Yeah... -Oh, no no no no no...

Excuse me?

I'm sorry, I just...

Mitch just made some really great points about my breasts.

God damn it, Mitch.

Sorry Greg.

April, have you ever been to a chakra-puncture-meditation?

This guy?

Oh! come on... really?

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